I've been pretty mad at myself lately. Recently, my therapy appointments haven't been going the way I'd like them to. I've been having my sessions over the phone, but today I got to go back in person which was nice but kind of awkward. Anyways, I can't get myself to talk about the important things. I end up spending most of my time talking about small stressors from the past week and I never get into the tough stuff, especially my OCD. It's so frustrating, but I always feel so stupid and embarrassed to have these thoughts and I can't get the words out of my head whenever I talk to him. They've been ending 15-20 mins early because I don't have anything else to say, or so he thinks. The truth is that I am filled with different things to talk about, but I physically cannot get myself to say anything. Does anybody have any advice?

I've been doing that, but when the time comes for either the phone call or the in-person session, I can't get myself to say anything I wrote down :(

@IcePenguin19 How about handing what you have written down to the therapist?

@Fear Strikes Out I could try that again... I'm just nervous. I had a different therapist this time last year and she was very rude sometimes. I handed her something I had written maybe 30 mins before my session and after she read it she said something like, "so, this is something you've been thinking about for a while? ...& you never said anything? Better late than never I guess." Then laughed a little bit. I found a new therapist and I like him a lot & I really don't think he'd do the same thing she did , but I'm still worried

@IcePenguin19 Is he an OCD specialist? Was the previous therapist an OCD specialist?

@Fear Strikes Out The therapist I have right now specialises in OCD, but the one prior did not. I actually never talked to her about my ocd; I was there immediately after my dog passed away I just needed some support and that's why I went. But the one I have now specialises in it so that's the main reason I'm going

That sounds exactly like what I'm currently dealing with actually lol so thank you! Idk what it is. I told myself that this therapist would be different and that I'd be more open and honest. Things were going well for a while, but recently I just haven't been able to say everything on my mind. I think I should tell him that it's difficult for me. I remember bringing it up once before and he asked me if I was holding anything back in that moment & I said yes, but he didn't force anything out of me. I think it might be something I need to talk to him about again because I'm not really accomplishing anything. The therapist I had before him was just ok, when I told her that I didn't plan on coming back I also explained why and she agreed that we weren't getting anything done and that she wasn't even sure why I was there to begin with. That hurt and I'm worried that my current therapist feels the same way. I don't want to waste his time or take an appointment slot away from someone who actually needs it

@IcePenguin19 aww, i’m sorry to hear about your experience with your previous therapist :( it does take some time to find the right therapist and i think it is a good idea to bring up this concern to your current therapist, so he can understand and help out! & your feelings are valid, i sometimes feel that way about my therapist whenever i feel like i haven’t had a good session or if i wasn’t able to say everything i wanted to say. like i’d be self-critical and think “well that was a waste of time, what was the point of me going to the session anyway? why is it so difficult for me to talk about these things out loud compared to other people?” & although it can definitely feel that way in the moment, we have to learn to be kind to ourselves when this does happen and to continue moving forward! i know it’s most likely going to feel overwhelming and uncomfortable when you talk about it to your therapist, but i believe in you! you got this!

@saaaam Yeah, you're probably right... this seems like something he should know. I hate that feeling! I always feel like I wasted so much of his time whenever I leave feeling like I didn't say everything. There was one time I sat in my car and cried for 20 minutes because I felt like an idiot for not saying anything I had written down throughout the week. But you're right, we have to learn how to be kind to ourselves. Thank you so much :)