help? my brother found my journal without me knowing, and read every. single. page. i have severe ocd so i write down all my thoughts in there, which my thoughts are kind of gross and weird. i have no idea what to do. i feel like this is my fault. i left my journal in my room where i thought nobody would look. well, i guess he goes in my room because he found it, and shopped through everything. i’m thinking about just stopping journaling and burning all my books, i can’t do digital either because phone checks. writing was one of my only escapes, and it was taken away from me. (keep in mind these were thoughts not even my therapist knows.)

I'm so sorry that happened to you. You had your privacy violated and it was absolutely not your fault.

Oh no! I’m so sorry that happened, he completely invaded your privacy! I know first hand that I wouldn’t want anyone to find my journal so I can’t imagine the feelings you are experiencing! But please remember, you are not your thoughts. You are not defined by these thoughts, you are defined by your actions ? please don’t give up on journaling. there are a couple places you can get boxes that you can lock, I would suggest getting one of those for your journals!

Ugh. That’s devastating. I don’t know how old he is and whether you can reason with him or your parents why that’s not ok. But please, don’t give up your writing. Can you maybe get a lock box if needed? In the meantime, I’m sending you healing vibes because being violated in any way is just so hard to deal with. And it’s so cruel how often guilt accompanies it, because it’s not at all your fault. Gentle wishes your way.

Wishing you nothing but the best ???

Oh man that's my worst nightmare lol I have written all sorts of stuff testing my OCD ideas, writing the worries as if they're true, writing the opposite, trying to see what "feels right". If your parents are controlling enough to do phone checks then I doubt they'd do much about your brother's behaviour and I imagine you're less than thrilled with the idea of bringing it up. I second a lock box. And remember that there are people you can talk to about how you're treated or spoken to at home, including your therapist and teachers. Your parents may do phone checks to try to ensure your safety as an alternative to building trust with you so that you can talk to them openly- a lot of us have been through this, as parents are often not emotionally available and stable enough in themselves to choose healthy parenting methods. They likely have your interests at heart, but that kind of boundary crossing behaviour can feel very violating and lead to you having long term issues with boundaries. As you get older, please make a note to yourself to do reading and work around boundaries and toxic shame- if I'd known to look into those things years ago, my life could've gone a lot more positively. If there are other things, I hope you know that not being allowed privacy is actually considered emotional abuse and there are people who will take it seriously if you're miserable at home. The feeling that it's your fault probably comes from the shame you're feeling about someone invading your privacy, of course it's entirely his bad behaviour but that shame can easily skew things to feeling like your fault. Processing the shame could be a good way to get through this rough patch without it becoming a new obsession.