Guys. I continue to go longer and longer without giving into my compulsions. My main compulsion is reassurance. I’ve gone so many days lately with not doing my compulsion once. It continues to be longer and longer that I don’t give into reassurance. At the same time, I gave in today and did some reassurance after going the most days without it since I started having ocd. So I’m not down on myself for that. I can sit with uncertainty and the doom longer and longer which is showing erp is clearly working. But then my ocd starts to doubt my erp treatment. When I’m calm and rationalize it, I clearly know this erp treatment is spot on what I need and is working. But when I get so worked up and the ocd becomes so convincing, I get convinced that I’m dojng the wrong thing. I’m legit retraining my brain and not giving into the noise. I continue to get horrible memories from when i used to react, which is like my brain trying to warn me I’m in danger. I’m working so hard, I just need continued motivation. I have this thing almost beat! I’m going so much longer without givin into compulsions which is so amazing and I’m so proud of myself. I gotta continue to sit with the doom and the intrusive thoughts of doubt. I’m so close to beating this and claiming my life back! Pls keep me motivated! My therapist is amazing and does a good job of putting me back on track as well

hi. so one big factor of my OCD is rumination. i met a guy who i have a crush on the idea of (idea bc there are red flags). my biggest fear is not finding true love, my ex told me no one else would deal with what i have (my ocd, specifically reassurance seeking and getting overstimulated after intimacy). a few weeks ago, my friends and family all gathered and tried to give me advice that sounded like “you’re shy and you’ll never find someone.” after that, i’ve felt off. i’ve been using an unhealthy coping skill, daydreaming, and i’ve just felt unbalanced. my ocd makes everything feel different sometimes, i can’t explain it. life, myself, almost like being in a dissociated state. has anyone else experienced that? i don’t know how to remain balanced during my off times and i know pms exasperates it all. i take ashwaghanda and omega 3s in a multi vitamin daily. i take them all together in the evening but i’ve missed three days recently and also messed with my rocky sleep schedule because of fun times with friends. i hope these supplements work, because i don’t know if i’d be brave enough for medication. i had a bad reaction on prozac and often am forgetful. i just have been battling my OCD consciously for almost ten years now and unconsciously for longer. i am so tired, as my mental health extends beyond my OCD. i’m in talk therapy with some cbt aspects but i only see her twice a month. i’ve broken down so many times and promised myself id get on track or that certain things would work, but it’s like i am stuck in a circle that gets smaller when i’m able to help myself. i just want to be normal. i want to be able to mess up my sleep schedule to enjoy good times and not suffer horrible consequences or fear that i will be entirely thrown off balance. i don’t want to worry or doubt or feel so dissociative that i squint my eyes for a moment and wonder why i feel so unreal. i will never understand why god has allowed me to go through this. i cannot let it be for nothing but i don’t know how much more to bend and contort my body and brain to get somewhere stable but how lovely it would be if i could. i don’t have much of a schedule right now, i get apathetic and give in with things from time to time. one thing can trigger me and i am back to square one wether in a week or month. any advice, any and all is so helpful. your stories, your thoughts. maybe feeling less alone and knowing what has helped you is exactly what i need right now. thank you 💗

Hi, I don’t know what to do anymore Pocd kills me I had many themes before but this theme is the hardest for me. I’m tired. I’m on therapy and meds but I barely do erp . I don’t have a reason I just don’t want to do it but today I will because I have to. I’m taking meds and they help with the anxiety for sure. But the obsessive part is still here . I’m almost 2 months on it (40 mg on Prozac) but I’m still super obsessed like I can have thoughts 24/7 every second of the day and not leave me alone. I have experienced a thought right now for a month + . It’s a thought to do compulsion/urge. My therapist says to let go and gives me tips how to she also tell me to do more erp. But I have this thought to do compulsion for more then month. Im scared what if I don’t have ocd the thought is 24/7. Do you think I should switch meds im so tired.

My last and almost life long theme/sub-theme largely subsided recently and my ocd felt like it wasn’t even an issue. Then I went on winter break from uni and being alone made my mind come up with a whole new topic to obsess over. TLDR on my fears, my advisor wouldn’t email me back for a while about signing up for classes so my mind started to worry “what if he doesn’t in time and you can’t enroll this semester and you lose this whole life you just built and all these new friends” So when that issue was resolved my mind found other scarier ways I could be uprooted from my current life and friends that I’ve grown so attached to. Then my mind remembered back when I was struggling with false memories and scrupulosity and I essentially made a post on a forum 2 and a half years ago saying I did something or was convinced I did something that I never actually did. Now I’ve been spiraling about someone finding it reporting me and I either get seen as a horrible person or arrested or something over something I never actually did but “admitted” to out of fear of going to hell. My mind won’t let it go and keeps finding new reasons for it to be “valid” “logical” or even inevitable. I feel like it’s just hanging over my head and I can never rest easy. Especially when I try to focus on my daily tasks or plan for the future I get this horrible flair up of “why plan for the future when this could come back in that future and you get uprooted from all of it” my mind won’t rest without certainty being uprooted won’t happen but certainty doesn’t exist, at least not with ocd. This sucks and I miss being care free.