I was on social media page and saw something on OCD and it made me wonder if I have it . I’ve always been told I have anxiety and depression and some agoraphobia and some hypochondria and I’m sure some OCD. But I wonder if I have more OCD. My thing lately or since ever is that I can’t breathe. I’m constantly yawning trying to catch my breath. If I don’t catch my breath I will get very anxious. So I will yawn and yawn until I catch it . Lately I’ve been thinking, like who decides what that right breath is ? Who says this is the one? I mean I know which one it is cause it makes me feel better, but then ten minutes later I back to feeling like I’m suffocating and trying to catch it again. I focus on my breathing and feel I have to be in control of my breathing cause if I’m not I’ll stop breathing. It’s crazy and it’s driving me crazy . It’s all about my breathing my never catching it and never wanting to do anything to alter it for fear of not knowing how to get it back to normal. Sometimes i swear I forgot how to breathe all together. Sorry for the long post . Could this be OCD or am I just anxious?

I have experienced this- exactly with breathing.

Yes. It has happened many times, most recently about 6 months ago. It was really so annoying and I felt bad, like I couldn’t catch my breath and get a satisfying yawn. Eventually I forgot about it I’m guessing?

I totally understand all you are saying. I know that sometimes people with OCD have a very difficult time with meditation from what in learning. And for me the depression kicks in when I’m totally exhausted from thinking and feeling like I’m not in control. I’m learning to trust God more and let go. OCD is all about control. Things are crazy here. I am a nurse and fortunately get to work from home. But the uncertainty in the world is probably what has triggered me to be where I am now. It’s a day at a time for sure.

I have ROCD and my relationship is my main theme right now. I just recently was diagnosed with OCD and if I look back over the years I see how often the content would change.

Did you medication help when you were taking it?

Yes I take celexa. I feel it doesn’t work as well as before but when I tapered off about 5 years ago it was terrible. So I went back on and it is better but not perfect. Therapy has helped so much. I have been doing therapy through NOCD for a month.

Yes i took celexa for a while as well and I did good. I don’t know why I got off of it and went to another one. The last one I was taking was zoloft and it didn’t do much. I hate getting off of the meds I feel horrible. Is the ocd therapy different from other therapies? I’ve never heard of it. I have yet to find out if I have ocd . I have an appointment in a couple of weeks with a psychiatrist let’s see what she says . Cause the psychiatrist I have here or from my insurance never mentioned ocd. I came across this ocd page and it led me here . I definitely think I have it . Along with panic attacks, anxiety, depression, and other things .

I actually am doing therapy with a NOCD therapist. The first time we met she did a lengthy assessment and was able to determine that i have OCD. I have been in therapy for over 10 years and it has never been mentioned. Now for the first time ever, therapy is helping. You learn to change your relationship and reactions to your thoughts. I spent years digging up my childhood and processing trauma and honestly I stopped improving years ago. I feel like now I’m getting my life back very slowly but surely.

I can relate 100%. It is exhausting when you are overfocused on anything! I’m glad that you are seeing a psychiatrist. If you have a suspicion that this could be OCD- I really would try and see an OCD specialist. My psychiatrist missed the diagnosis as well. I just hate to see anyone suffer with this for longer than they need to. The therapy is totally different and it works. Please keep me posted!

Yes I still take Celexa. I also take ashwaghanda which I really believe helps me. You can get that at most Vitamin stores. Some of the therapy with OCD I’m learning is that- you learn to lean towards those things in an unthreatened way that cause you to fixate. It’s really very interesting. Did you check to see if they take your insurance here? I have also learned that when stress is high, ie, from life events, or even from sickness your mind gets very “sticky”. The last couple of months has been difficult for everyone, and on top of that I am a single Mom and my last two (twins) are leaving for college 250 miles away in August. My OCD has ramped up tremendously! And I never knew that is how it works. It’s interesting to learn about the neurological process that is behind OCD. For me that is where I learn. Good luck! - also I don’t know why my little emoticon thing is Frankenstein! Lol. I’m a chic!

I’ve heard of ashwaganda never tried it . I’ll look into it . I don’t understand how to lean towards things in an unthreatened way? For example me I always feel I can’t breathe or I’m always fixated on my breathing it’s gonna stop I can’t catch it I feel like I’m suffocating and k yawn to catch it all the time . I try to not be afraid of the feeling of suffocation but it’s hard. I try not to yawn cause yawning makes my chest tight makes me hyperventilate without like actually breathing fast. It scares me a lot those feelings. I don’t think they’ll take Kaiser . Sticky as in gets fixated on certain things and can’t stop thinking? Omg that must be scary I would be super anxious. Being alone with all my thoughts and sensations. I did think you were a guy ? now I know .

I’m not completely sure - and that’s where a therapist could get precise- but saying things to yourself like I may or may not suffocate. If I suffocate I suffocate. Exposure could be something like a breath holding exercise - idk really. It’s all about changing the way you reach to the thoughts. I do know that some of this with breathing does become physical - like a vagus nerve thing. I’ve looked this up. Lol. Your focused thinking causes you to desire to yawn more for relief and you can actually create a sort of hyperventilation that stimulates that nerve. It’s strange. But all starts with thinking.

*react

And about sticky thoughts- the ones that cause you to obsess, overthink , ruminate.

I totally understand all you are saying. I am in North Carolina and it has been a pretty good day. I do notice that Monday’s are a stickier day for me. I like that word now! I think it is due to the stress of starting the work week. I exercise daily and that helps. Do you? My ruminations change often but they always start with an intrusive thought. I’m learning slowly how to deal with them.

I’m in San Diego . Stickier is a good word it used often ? I don’t work thank god I don’t think I’d be able to work. Well I do work I have a son with special needs and I care for him as best I can with what I’m going through. I don’t exercise it’s hard for me to do so since I’m focused on my breathing all the time . If I work out I try to control my breathing or get scared when it gets fast and I want to slow it down. It’s hard for me to do much of anything cause of the breathing. It’s everywhere and in everything I do . Some days I just want to not even talk . Like today I’ve been so anxious on the verge of having panic attacks because I feel like I can’t my breathe. It started on the morning while on the phone with my sister . I don’t know if I hold my breath when I talk or what but I felt like I lost my breath and that was enough to make me super anxious and start yawning. And that’s how I’ve been ever since trying to stay calm and to be ok with the feelings but it gets the best of me . I’m so over it . I literally feel like I can’t do anything. I feel like I’m just trying to survive and I’m barely doing that . Yes I get those thoughts that make me feel like I’m dying like I question if I’m dying or it’s just anxiety usually my brain says I’m dying . I’m writing and seeing how shitty I have been feeling lately. How is it going as far dealing with them ? You said you have relationship ocd now right? So you’re able to breathe ?

I’m sorry you are struggling so! I understand how things like this totally paralyze us. I have been where you are. I am not currently dealing with the breathing problem but have been there many times and it is exhausting. When is your appointment with your doctor? I find that exercise burns some of the adrenaline out of my body and actually helps me more than anything. Have you tried calling NOCD and asking them about cost? I am wondering if they would be willing to work with you some how. I think it would help you so much!!

Gosh am I ever struggling I have these moments where I struggle hard and some where I feel like I see the light then it goes dark again. It gets so exhausting that then the depression kicks in . But I’m not giving up . My appointment is on the 14th so almost. I’m going to wait and see how it goes with her see what she says and if not I can call here see what they say . I’m hoping I won’t have to do that but I will if it means getting better. I’m glad you’re not having the breathing anxiety and can exercise. That definitely helps with the stress. I try to meditate or do breathing exercises which help when I can do them . I try everyday if only for a bit. How have you been feeling ? How’s the world over there ? With all that’s going on ?