I think I am a OCD patient because th symptoms ar matched.I don’t know what to do.I feel ashamed to share this with my parents an friends.I feel so lonely.The thoughts make me ore lonely day by day. It has broken my life.How can I handle this situation...?

I don’t know who to turn to. I am majorly depressed. I just had a panic attack/breakdown, and my parents are blaming me, saying I can control it. I have lived with untreated OCD all 17 years of my life. I’m so overwhelmed. My parents say I’m being ridiculous, and am letting my anxiety define me, and using it as a crutch. I’m really not, it’s just gotten so out of hand because it’s been untreated my whole life. I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t see a way out of the darkness. I have no friends, and am homeschooled because I have Lyme disease, so I basically don’t leave the house. I feel like a crazy person. Any advice? I’ll probably delete this.

Im so drained , I haven’t been diagnosed I’m too scared to go to a doctor and I did tell my mum I think I had ocd and she laughed at me with disbelief because Im not a clean freak . My last option is suicide if I’m being honest I’m only 17 and I’m already having these uncomfortable thoughts that make me cry for hours . I can’t go on social media I can’t speak to my family I can’t be around kids , animals without having a fear of getting turned on or feeling stuff or thinking stuff . The thoughts get so believable idk if there real or fake . It makes me extremely uncomfortable “what if I like this feeling “ I have to constantly check myself my body if a video comes up of a kid . What happens if I don’t even have ocd and I’m just a pedo . I’ve been through a lot of stuff but this has been the most draining , depressing period of my life . I can’t eat , I’m starting to think I’m depressed again . I can’t sleep , I don’t know myself anymore . I’m scared of myself , my future , what happens if Im becoming one , since I’m so young . I don’t want to be here anymore I don’t deserve it . I don’t deserve to have friends I don’t deserve anything but to rot in my room . I don’t believe I can get help I don’t believe I can get better . I just want to be normal I’m so jealous of people that just think normally .

I have HARM-OCD , POCD , FM-OCD and I can’t discuss my form of ocd with anyone but my partner , it’s just such a lonely isolating disorder. I find my friends discuss their mental health a lot such as anxiety , depression, eating disorders etc but ocd can’t be discussed. How could I ever turn to my friends and tell them I have false memories of harming people , animals even children? How could I ever tell them I worry everyday I’m an abuser and should be sitting in a prison cell… exactly I couldn’t. It’s a lonely isolating life.