I feel like a monster, how can I debate thoughts that say I'd hurt my pets or loved ones? I don't deserve them at all.

have you tried mindfulness? It has helped me a lot like seing thoughts like clouds passing (It's a great way to do response prevention).

You are applying meaning to your thoughts instead of just letting them exist in your mind as simply what they are: a thought. Just because you think something does not mean it will happen or you want it to happen. If that was the way it worked then I could think “I’m going to win the lottery today” and boom, I’d be $1,000 dollars richer, but that’s not the way the world works. Thoughts are not equivalent nor representative of reality.

You’re not supposed to debate your thoughts that’s the thing, I’ve tried many times and all it’s done was dug me deeper and deep into a hole. You deserve your loved ones and they deserve you ? but in order to move past this you have to let the thoughts pass through without debating or questions or anything, which is hard but takes practice! I say all this but I still struggle with leaving the thoughts and feelings alone because it feels so real. Like the other user said though, practicing mindfulness is a great way to learn. I was doing it through the Headspace app