What is it like to be a parent with OCD? Is it hard to focus on the kids? (not pregnant and won’t be anytime soon, just genuinely curious)

Same here. Are you getting treatment through NOCD as well?

Relief is found by learning Exposure and Response Prevention. It's really the only ticket out of OCD hell and it works.

@luchalysol My first ERP session is this Thursday. It can’t come quickly enough.

@ctmont I feel you. Mine is on the 20th. Im really hoping we get better soon

@luchalysol Focus on why you want to get better during treatment. That should be plenty of motivation.

@Fear Strikes Out I know, that's what Im trying to focus on. As afraid as I am to start therapy, I also wanna get better. And be free of this mental prison.

@luchalysol When exposures in treatment are hard, think about the emotions you are currently experiencing regarding your children. Whichever is worse will probably determine whether treatment is successful or not.

@Fear Strikes Out Can you elaborate on that?

@luchalysol Well, if the emotional pain from doing exposures surpasses the pain (shame and guilt, etc.) you are currently experiencing with your children, you probably will not be motivated to learn what you need to learn in order to free yourself from the OCD prison. Conversely, I hope that what you are currently experiencing today will give you all the motivation and desire you need to do the exposures and face the OCD bully when therapy gets really hard.

@Fear Strikes Out Does that make sense? Nobody will successfully challenge OCD unless there is something of more value supporting it.

@Fear Strikes Out Right now Im just numb. But Im honestly willing to do what it takes to live a normal life and recover.

@luchalysol I understand. If in treatment, the therapist wanted you to put a plastic knife up to one of your kids' neck while they were asleep, could you do it? Well, maybe not now but in time hopefully. Eventually, after 12-15 sessions of treatment, the thought of putting an actual very sharp knife on your child's neck will be something that will not create much discomfort for you and something that you can easily dismiss. That's just an example. This might not be something that you even fear. But, whatever it is, I am sure it's something that an exposure can be created for in treatment.

@Fear Strikes Out That does scare me. Ive always been afraid of being a bad person and closeted psychopath. I know going into this that I am afraid that I will end up liking the thoughts and acting on them. But I also know I have to trust that professionals know what they are doing. I just want my life back and I want a relationship with my son and family.

@luchalysol Are you going to see an NOCD therapist? If so. I know that you will be in great hands. Just a few words. Thoughts are just thoughts. Thoughts are not facts. Thoughts only have meaning when we choose to give them meaning. Thinking something is not predictive of future behavior or the same as actually performing the behavior.

@Fear Strikes Out Yes, I start erp with a NOCD therapist on the 20th. I know, and as a logical person, it doesn't make sense, hut emotionally it very distressing. Especially due to the nature of my thoughts. Im aware it may target my son the most because I love him and also because of my own traumas, but they still make me feel like crap

@luchalysol I get it. All the best in treatment! ?

@Fear Strikes Out Thank you!

That must be nearly heartbreaking. ?

@Fear Strikes Out It is. As a mother who didn't have a mom growing up, wanting to provide my son what I didn't have. Im crushed.