- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I don’t want to just be reassuring your OCD, but it’s seriously ok to want someone to think you’re pretty, funny, attractive. If someone besides my husband compliments me in that way, it’s surprising and exciting (unless they give off scary, added, creepy vibes). And if my husband gives me those compliments, it’s totally different (and honestly, sometimes better.). It’s like one is a little dangerous and exciting and when from my husband just goes directly to warm fuzzies in my heart. Even if it’s a little different for you, it’s still ok to want those compliments. It feels good to get them. It’s a healthy desire for your self esteem. And remember, your OCD is what’s gonna want you to ruminate and try to tell you you wanted it to go further than that. Fantasies are just that. You cannot control your thoughts, only your actions! Best of wishes. And I invite you to join the Honeymoon for Life Club! ?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Thank you❤️❤️ I love him to death and I’m trying to trust myself and my love for him.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@wellwellwell Sending you strength! I believe in you! I believe in Love! You got this!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@ARTnotOCD Thank you! Glad to talk to other ocd warriors☺️
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I used to have similar thoughts and worries and then I had a kid and most of my guilt and fear of doing something wrong is now about her. And work.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
It's too bad that those of us (numbering in the millions +) who got sloppy drunk in college, did stupid things, and then worried the next day or years later if they had did something very wrong or really embarrassing could share our stories with incoming college freshmen. It probably would not impact the behavior of most, but it might spare some the torture you are currently experiencing later in life.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Unfortunately it’s too late for me. I’ve told my husband everything I remembered, even details that I wasn’t proud of (I.e. purposefully talking to an attractive man), but I can’t get it out of my mind. Worse yet, the TA incident happened entirely sober?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@wellwellwell How did he receive it, not so much what he was told but rather that you felt the need to disclose it?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Fear Strikes Out He knows I have ocd so he thought it was pretty in line with my other compulsions to confess things. I didn’t even do anything besides sometimes think about the ta in a sexual manner. He didn’t seem very upset, I think he was more alarmed that I was clearly in the midst of an episode
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@wellwellwell That's good that he recognizes that it is a compulsion. Have you learned any ERP tools yet?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Fear Strikes Out I have, but I’ve been practicing HOCD erp so I’m not super prepared, but I think I have what I need to start practicing with this compulsion. It’s just bizarre to have really not done anything that awful yet feel like I’m some sort of unworthy whoee
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@wellwellwell Yep, that's OCD for you. Twist, contort even relatively benign details into something horribly wrong. Have you read anything on moral scrupulosity?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Fear Strikes Out I have, and I definitely think that applies here. Just finding men attractive and talking to them is somehow warped into something awful in my mind. There was literally only one instance of drunken flirting that probably actually counts as flirting but it never went beyond talking and playful banter. No one was touched, hit on, etc. I told this man I used to have a crush on him and was very giggly and drunk. Not great, not proud, but that’s what happened and my brain tells me I would’ve had sex with that man if I could have done so. I don’t think I would’ve but lol ocd is a killer
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@wellwellwell Do you think it is more of a general moral scrupulosity or one with some faith-based roots?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Fear Strikes Out General moral I think, I’m not religious at all, but I definitely believe in being faithful to one partner
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Related posts
- Date posted
- 11w ago
Hi, I’m new here!! I’m praying I don’t get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I can’t believe we’re almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasn’t a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, I’ve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, It’s gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just can’t exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I don’t know if it happened or not. I’m sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels “ off”. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that that’s a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just can’t accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . It’s not just about sexual related things either, sometimes I’ll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think it’s ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.
- Date posted
- 9w ago
I’ve been struggling with something that’s been really overwhelming, and I’m hoping to get some perspective from others here. I feel a lot of guilt about it, and I’m not sure if I’m alone in this experience. Lately, I’ve found myself daydreaming about romantic situations or getting caught up in ‘what if’ scenarios—where I wonder if I could develop feelings for someone else, or if someone develops feelings for me. The thing is, I’m in a relationship that I love, and I don’t want to act on these thoughts at all. What makes it even harder is that these thoughts often hyperfixate on one specific friend, and sometimes they feel entertaining or give me a dopamine rush. But then, of course, I feel even more guilty because it makes me feel like I’m betraying my boyfriend. These thoughts usually happen when I’m upset and looking for comfort, but then they morph into romantic scenarios, which makes me feel so disloyal. I’m constantly going back and forth between feeling curious or entertained by the thoughts and then feeling horrible for even allowing them to happen in the first place. I keep confessing these thoughts to my boyfriend, and he tries to be understanding. He’s just never been the type to daydream, so he doesn’t know if this is something other people experience or if it’s just me. I feel like such an awful girlfriend. Has anyone else dealt with something like this?
- Relationship OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- OCD newbies
- "Pure" OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 8w ago
I was doing fine today until I asked ChatGPT if i cheated and they said it could count as emotional cheating if you are engaging in intense daydreams and looking someone up on social media to feed a fantasy about them. My partner and I already spoke about me fantasizing about this person and he said it was totally fine since it happened in my head and he has had crushes and fantasies on coworkers too. However I feel absolutely devastated and wrecked with guilt and anxiety and panic right now. I genuinely feel like a horrible horrible horrible cheater. I don’t know what to do. I have therapy scheduled for later this week but I really really need some advice right now!!! I feel like it could count as cheating since it did happen during a few weeks where i felt a bit distant from my partner and I feel like the daydreaming was excessive. I am so so scared. Do I confess? Do I tell him I cheated? He already told me once that cheating is a physical interaction (and I literally have not interacted with this person outside of surface level responses in a group server that my partner is also a part of). Do I have a moral obligation to tell him I cheated? I need to know.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond