Has anyone ever dealt with false memories after a night out drinking with friends? Thinking you may have done something so against your morals?

I’m so sorry. I know how it is and am here to talk anytime

Yes! Finally someone who can relate. I hate nights out without my boyfriend because of the “memory gaps” from drinking. He’s been so so supportive through all of this. Do you ever deal with the guilt part of the thoughts?

@gmrn23 The guilt surrounding this is common. Have you considered trying to drink more moderately so that this kind of thing is less likely in your mind the next day?

@Fear Strikes Out Yes, on nights out without my boyfriend around I have made sure to drink in moderation as I know what my mind is capable of the next day. Its really sad to say. I do enjoy going out with my friends :/ OCD has seemed to ruin it

I’ve actually thought about giving up drinking for good, but I seem to be fine when I am out drinking when my boyfriend is around :( it’s the worst

@gmrn23 Do you have intrusive thoughts that you might have cheated on him in some way while out drinking?

@Fear Strikes Out Yes and even all other types of intrusive thoughts. What if someone touched me inappropriately? What if someone grabbed me? What if I said something terrible? What if. What if. What if and I don’t remember? I guess that’s why they call it the doubting disease. I replay the whole night in my head over and over again. I love my boyfriend dearly and just the thought of anything ever bad happening has wrecked me. I have been so open with him about my ocd and intrusive thoughts. I know it’s bad for ocd, but he constantly reassures me that nothing bad has happened and that I would without a doubt know if something did. I admire how he’s so positive. He says I will get through this and I just gotta keep believing I guess.

@gmrn23 What are you doing to get through it these days?

@Fear Strikes Out Well I had it under control for a while somehow. I really don’t know how. Recently my boyfriend told me that his ex girlfriend had died from cancer and that’s when my OCD went nuts for some reason! Huge relapse. Recently been replaying all the nights I’ve been out without him over and over. It were nights from two years ago and also some from 4 years ago! I finally got to the point where I called my mom crying and told her about my thoughts. Also told my boyfriend. I’m getting a ton of support and trying to read up on tips and techniques. Also tried looking for a psychiatrist and happened to stumble upon this.

@gmrn23 Please seriously consider connecting up with an OCD therapist (NOCD or someone local) that uses Exposure and Response Prevention therapy. You do not need to live like that. Most psychiatrists are for medication prescribing and management. That's great to see a psychiatrist versus a Primary Care physician for that purpose. But, medication is not a long term strategy for successfully managing what you are experiencing. And, it doesn't sound like the first time you have struggled with intrusive thoughts in your life. While well intentioned, your BF is not helping you by providing reassurance. He is only feeding the OCD thoughts.

@Fear Strikes Out I’ve heard great things about ERP. thank you for your advice. I really do appreciate it. I actually get mad when my mom or boyfriend try to reassure me because I know that it just feeds the OCD. I’ve also dealt with harm OCD (convincing myself I’ve hit someone with my car) and contamination OCD in the past.

@gmrn23 ERP is by far your best path out of what you describe and is the only OCD treatment protocol that is supported by extensive research. Your life will open up to many possibilities that do not exist today because you have not had the appropriate treatment. All the best to you!