I’m sad. I keep thinking about things that have gone wrong in my life. The job I loved that I lost. The girl I tried to save but couldn’t. The fact that I’ll never be a therapist like I wanted to be. :/

Thank you. ❤️ I appreciate your words. I only knew her over the internet but you can get to know someone a lot that way. It’s just hard not knowing what happened to her. But your right. I need to try to stop blaming myself for something I had no control over. ❤️

@Nikki1809 No worries! ? I can imagine what it feels like as about 2 years ago I had a classmate that used to scare me (and other people) that he would kills himself, by sending me really weird messages and pretending to actually take some actions towards it (he never actually did anything bad, he was faking it, and I never really got to know if he actually was suicidal or not). That was absolutely terrifying for me. I spent days crying and the only thing on my mind was how he would die because of me (apparently he had feelings for me but I didn't). But then, someone told me that I really have no control over that. At the end of day it's his decision. Again, I probably sound heartless but that attitude helped me to get out of that very miserable state I was in. Take care! ? And don't forget to be kind to yourself. You sound like a really lovely and caring person. You did your best - that's all that matters!

@corablue Yeah. No it doesn’t sound heartless, it’s exactly what people keep telling me. I had no control over it. I still feel like I could have done more. And thank you. ❤️

@Nikki1809 No worries! ?

Social anxiety and responsibility ocd. I get so anxious about being responsible for people. I can’t put their lives in my hands without freaking out. Also the grad school I’m going to doesn’t have a path to licensure, so I’m probably going into research instead because it’s better suited to my strengths and I loved the research projects I did as an undergrad.

@Nikki1809 To be a successful therapist, you have to be ccomfortable with the uncertainty that comes with not knowing whether you are are helping or hurting (albeit, unintentionally) a client during therapy. This is something that you would need to work on in therapy yourself.

@Fear Strikes Out Yeah that’s why I can’t do that. I’m at the point in my education where I will be asked to work with people, and have worked with people, and I’m on edge the entire time. So I’m doing research instead.

@Nikki1809 Understand

@Nikki1809 Nothing wrong with doing research instead especially if it plays to your strengths like you mentioned. However, if wanting to be a therapist still has a pull on you, have you tried reaching out to anyone who is a therapist who also had OCD? Maybe they have some words of wisdom on how to make it past that obstacle.

@Ben84 I think I’ll be happier as a researcher.

@Nikki1809 Sounds good ?

@Nikki1809 Nothing wrong with that at all.

@Ben84 Thanks :)

@Fear Strikes Out Thanks to both of you. :)