I'm having a hard time figuring out how to overcome the following problem with ERP. I don't know if I should tighten my shoelaces or leave theme loose. Here's what happened: When I was tying my shoes, I got the initial obsession "Your shoelaces aren't tightened enough." As a compulsion I retied my shoes once. This lasted for about 10-15 seconds. The above has triggered me and now I get caught in a loop of figuring out to properly overcome it with therapy. The OCD cycle is now as follows & the initial obsession/compulsion is no longer present. 1. "Since I had the initial obsession above ^ , that means you need to loosen your laces and habituate to that for exposure therapy." 2. "Now your laces are loosened because you might have listened to those instructions & done the above for 'exposure' ." 3. "You need to be just as comfortable with loosened laces as you would tightened laces" 4. "Letting myself experience the original obsession & not perform the compulsion is not enough therapy. You need to be doing an exposure to overcorrect the initial obsession/compulsion."

Estrid

Date posted: 5y

I think the basic is what my therapist used to tell me "what do you WANT?" Dont let OCD dictate how you live your life. Stop that debate. There isn't one answer that will solve it, or just one way to act. At the end of the day you have to make the decision.

canigetawitness

Date posted: 5y

I hear you, Estrid. And this is what I'm trying to do when I put my shoes on & go for walks, watch TV, take a shower, etc. Then my mind says "Well technically it would bother you to do ___ , so you need to do that and habituate as an exposure." I say no, I'm doing what I want, I don't care. And then I keep getting hit with intrusive thoughts that I need to be habituating to tasks other than what I want to choose to do. I have a fear of doing therapy incorrectly and it's really difficult. I don't know how this came about. I'll keep on trying to just make a decision and go with it

Estrid

Date posted: 5y

@canigetawitness I get you, I have had similar thoughts. You have to accept that you cant do therapy perfect. Maybe you can do an accepting script and listen on replay about this.

canigetawitness

Date posted: 5y

@Estrid Yes, I do need to accept that I can't be perfect. Maybe even accept that some things bother me & that's okay. Just because I'm bothered by something doesn't make it an obsessive fear. Part of myself is hooked on that too. Any feelings of dislike, distaste, preference, etc. is a trigger for me because I get intrusive thoughts that this means the thing is OCD, when it's probably just something I don't like. The acceptance script is a good idea. Thanks, I'll try that.

Estrid

Date posted: 5y

@canigetawitness Another thing...Have you tried mindfulness? It has helped me so much to take a stepback and notice the thought instead of get stuck. I tjink everyone with OCD need this tool in addition to exposures. There are great books out there about this. Jon Hershfield for example, and you can search for him at you tube and listen.

canigetawitness

Date posted: 5y

@Estrid I will look more into mindfulness! I actually have The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD by Jon Hershfield. I really liked what I read.

Estrid

Date posted: 5y

@canigetawitness ? Hang in there. Dont give up!

Erin12

Date posted: 5y

I had a similar issue with my washing my hands exposer when it came to stuff about covid. My therapist’s advice was that if it was something reguarding my own safety(such as having loose shoelaces that I might trip over or that might cause my shoe to become too loose and give me blisters etc.) then it was okay to adjust a little, but only to a level that made the issue no longer a safety issue. I would say it’s okay to tighten your shoelace once if it is a safety issue, but I am also not a mental health professional so I’m not entirely sure. I hope this helps

canigetawitness

Date posted: 5y

This did help. Thank you!

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