Just had the best ERP session wow it works so well

Thank you that makes me feel even better I really appreciate it :)

Well first I put I a towel to my face that had lint on it and breathed in(lint was at the top of my list of obsessions, and I haven’t used a towel to dry myself off in over a year, I’m finally about to tonight) then I put stickers on my face and hands, I’ve been terrified of adhesive for so long. And then I opened a box of baking soda and breathed in after opening, I’ve been terrified of any kind of powder, especially white powder for years and haven’t been able to make pancakes or anything really with powder in a long time. Then to top it all off; the hardest thing for me to do. I rubbed my hands on the bottom of the pair of shoes that I wear everywhere and touched my guitar and my cup afterwards without washing it and then waited a half hour to even wash my hands. That one was really really scary because everything I’m scared of eventually ends up on the ground. My mind wants to think there was laundry detergent and engine oil and coolant and possibly even random drugs from the city that I might accidentally get high on. But none of those bad things happen and now I just feel like my mind is so happy. Life has felt like an evil trap, inverted mystical experience for so long and now it feels so divine and perfect. It may not last forever but I’m happy right now :)

@ShpongleSpores After you touched your shoes and then touched your guitar and cup, did you feel the need to sanitize or wipe down either of those things? My issue is that I can touch things but then immediately feel like I need to wipe things down if I touched anything else like my phone or computer.

@ans87 I do feel that way and have for a long time but I was able to force myself not to! And by the next day it didn’t bother me as much. I still did end up wiping it down a bit but not nearly as thorough as I normally would have been. And I slept with some of whatever it was on me too so that helped me feel invincible

@ShpongleSpores That's absolutely wonderful! What a great victory for you!

@ans87 Thank you! I’m glad I was able to do it when I did because yesterday I had to get my car towed, and I probably would have had a panic attack having to get on the ground and get dirty to hook it up if I hadn’t done that ERP :)

@ShpongleSpores Wow, what great timing! Sounds like you're doing amazing! I have my first session with my NOCD therapist on Tuesday and am sooooo anxious but stories like yours give me hope. Best wishes on a continued positive journey for you! I'd love to hear updates!

I really let my ocd have it tonight haha I’m sick of it. Super exhausted, so I’d do it again but not anytime soon. The best thing I think is that if I was out in the city and dropped my debit card on accident I wouldn’t freak out after picking it up :) there’s been a time when my OCD was so bad that I literally just cancelled a card and got a new one just cause I dropped it on the floor of a grocery store

@ShpongleSpores You can see real life implications of your victory

Thank you! :)

I appreciate it so much!

Thank you!

Thank you for commenting and caring! :)