Right now I feel convinved and defeated. If I see a child and feel nothing like I normally would, my brain takes this as a challenge and makes me picture them naked and then in sexual situations. I don't know what to do. I'm so scared that this is just some secret desire I managed to go all my life without noticing. Or that because I have all these images all the time that I'm going to DEVELOP an attraction.

LittleLuna

Date posted: 5y

I get this, its like the more you try to avoid it the harder it tries to convince you. It is sooo hard to try to beilive yourself when your ocd tries to convince you otherwise. @Ben84 is right! Writing this post takes alot of courage to do! As it is almost like we are worried that if we mention something to others, they may deem us to be what we trying to convince ourselves were not, if that makes sense. Because our brain convinces us that were the worst person in the world because of it, so it prevents us from trying to talk to someone about it, i just want to let you know that you have made such a positive step and im proud of you for that. Just want to let you know you are not alone with this, and i am happy to talk with you about it, if you ever needed a chat ?

Ben84

Date posted: 5y

"naked and then in sexual situations" Have you always been able to write this out?

ihatemyocd

Date posted: 5y

Sorry, I don't understand the questions

Ben84

Date posted: 5y

@ihatemyocd Not everybody would be comfortable explaining their POCD (I have it too by the way) that explicitly. That takes courage. It probably counts as a kind of exposure. I was trying see if maybe you've made some progress you weren't giving yourself credit for ☺.

ihatemyocd

Date posted: 5y

@Ben84 I suppose I don't consider that statement to be explicit in comparison to the mental images. My mind quite literally places them into things that you would see in pornography. Though I do I think I would have struggled to say that last month.

Ben84

Date posted: 5y

@ihatemyocd I definitely relate to the images being more graphic than the statement. Keep in mind that acceptance is a gradual shift. My hope for you today is that you can celebrate this small shift ☺.

ihatemyocd

Date posted: 5y

@Ben84 How do you come to accept these thoughts? I feel the need to check myself for bodily and emotional responses. I don't know how to stop these mental compulsions.

Ben84

Date posted: 5y

@ihatemyocd If you can find an OCD therapist that would be ideal. If you're like me and can't afford that, a general therapist who's willing to learn how to support someone with OCD would still be helpful. Aside from that there's still other resources out there that can help you gradually shift your mindset. What other resources do you use besides this app for OCD?

ihatemyocd

Date posted: 5y

@Ben84 I also cannot afford therapy. I do not use anything else besides this app.

Ben84

Date posted: 5y

@ihatemyocd To get you started: There's the OCD Stories podcast (weekly) Chrissy Hodges on You Tube (periodically) NOCD advocate Katie has an Instagram page under "ocdillustrated". Check out who she follows and you'll have daily tips. There's also some good books out there, but I'm not as familiar with them. You could ask the community what books they've found helpful ☺.

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