I’m so frustrated. I feel like my church has all these rules and strict ways of thinking, but the people aren’t actually consistent with the logic. They seem to “know better than their doctrine.” They can still listen to their intuition and be like “Well, that’s going too far.” And here I am—raised and trained in this convoluted complex hermeneutic and I’m trying to actually be consistent which means I’m the one who has problems with living. I’m the abnormal one. “Can I just stop thinking? Can I just act and not know why something is ok and just model my behavior after a normal person?” I asked somebody tonight. She couldn’t say yes. Instead she tried to argue why a rule I see isn’t actually necessary. I’m so frustrated and confused. I don’t know how to jive the contradicting advice of “Live more, think less” from my therapist and the “You need to have a solid argument for why something is ok” from my community. I’m frustrated. I just want a life. I want a good job, a husband, a family. But there’s just too much mess in my head that I can’t logic away.

Quite Unknown

Date posted: 5y

First of all: you can't stop thinking your brain is made for thinking and that's fine, try to accept it. And tried to be consistent with your own values and not what other people tell you or some institution.

Mike1234

Date posted: 5y

By the time you figure out life...it will be over.

Quite Unknown

Date posted: 5y

If you don't stop listening to what others tell you you will always be busy and ruminating what others might want you to do and think and you you will never find your own best way to deal with live which naturally is is the best way because it's the best fitting one for you.

Alyosha

Date posted: 5y

True. I’m not sure what I believe and what others believe anymore. It’s all kind of muddled.

Mike1234

Date posted: 5y

I think we are all on the hamster wheel of ocd.?

Alyosha

Date posted: 5y

Could someone please make all this magically go away? Cuz that would be great

Estrid

Date posted: 5y

I'm so sorry you feel like this. Do you have religious OCD? I dont have, but I had many issues around rules in the church. I left the institutional church 15 years ago. I needed that to find freedom. The last ten years I m a member if a small house church and we try to be honest with each other and chare real life. We talk a lot and help each other to process life. I really appreciate that way of church life. I hope you will find a way in this. Most important is to know that there always are a lot of answers how to live, even in church, its about how we interprete the Bible and the culture and so on. Acceptance and trust are great tools.

Alyosha

Date posted: 5y

@Estrid Thank you! My friends and family say I have religious OCD. Maybe they’re right. It’s when it gets into this area that I have a really hard time with the insight. My OCPD issues show up around the religious stuff. I’m glad you found that!

Estrid

Date posted: 5y

@Alyosha Ok. I hope you van make ERP for this too.

Mike1234

Date posted: 5y

In other words, stop trying to make sense of something and stop trying to fit your life into a neat package with a bow. Sometimes things just don’t fit into our framework of what we want or need.

Alyosha

Date posted: 5y

This is hard to do. But there’s probably truth in this.

Alyosha

Date posted: 5y

Thank you for responding, guys. I didn’t know if anybody would. It helps so much just to be seen and heard in this, so thank you.

Alyosha

Date posted: 5y

I think I’m certainty-hunting. And I won’t ever find certainty. So I need to get over that. And my intuition is shot. I struggle with probability vs. possibility. I think that’s why others in my church aren’t struggling like I am. They don’t require certainty and they pay attention to their intuition.

Alyosha

Date posted: 5y

@Alyosha ...I guess I just described OCD lol. So, others in my church aren’t struggling because they don’t have OCD lol. I think i just reinvented the wheel.

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