- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
If you want a good ERP excersize while you look for therapy (i HIGHLY recommend therapy through NOCD. It has helped me TREMENDOUSLY). Try to sit with the thoughts of maybe being or becoming a psychopath. Try to tell yourself "maybe i am or maybe im not its possible i may bea psychopath. I dont have the answer to that" WITHOUT doing any type of compulsions. You checking and searching and trying to find an answer is only making your OCD worse. If you feel comfortable with trying that i would HIGHLY recommend it. Good luck!! Let me know how it goes. P.S : it will be scary, it will be hard, you might want to do a lot of compulsions but the point is NOT to do them. Sit and focus on those thoughts of "maybe i am or maybe i will become one i dont know".
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey! Would you suggest this with any kind of thought? Like I feel like my morbid thoughts are just to fucked up for me to agree too ?
- Date posted
- 5y
@Pameladonald6530 Yes i highly suggest you do it with every thought that gives you anxiety or panic. Your not agreeing with those thoughts your just letting them be uncertain. "I might end up killing someone one day, i dont know. Well see what happens" or "i might not have any feelings but i dont know why maybe ill feel someday well have to find out"
- Date posted
- 5y
I honestly don't know if I can't do it, it's terrifying
- Date posted
- 5y
@Makki23 Maybe start with something a little less terrifying. Do you have any other subtypes or fears that dont give you AS much anxiety?
- Date posted
- 5y
@Kamil They are all kinda same tbh
- Date posted
- 5y
Honestly what I’d say to do is write this out just like this , and give it to your therapist. If you have one
- Date posted
- 5y
I'm possibly getting one
- Date posted
- 5y
I felt this way in my early teens and only now do i realise it was ocd my doctor and therapists have all reasured me that i was not and am not a psychopath intrusive thoughts all come in many forms and i would have empty feelings and sometimes feel completely nothing for months i did all the same googling but i too never wanted to hurt or enjoyed hurting others the utter fact you're concered about it and are asking is enough to say you're not a psychopath
- Date posted
- 5y
I just think about it so often, and get scared being numb will make me more likely to act on them even though I don't want to
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I know we’re not meant to ask for reassurance but I’m currently not in therapy and I need help, it feels scarily real and I feel like I’m not anxious or worried over the thoughts. I had stabbing thoughts about someone I care about and I started deliberately imagining them to test myself to see if I hate it or not but instead it felt like I knew how it feels to stab someone and like the feeling of doing that physical action and I swear it is the worst thing I have ever experienced as well I had moments where it felt like It was about to happen or I keep getting this really sick ‘happy’ feeling that I want to do that and I don’t know what that is but it feels incredibly real almost like I was getting a happy feeling or wanted to do that thing and jsut wasn’t giving into it and now I’m thinking I’m actually evil and it feels like I get a pleasurable feeling over the thought of doing that and would want to do it?? Because I ‘like’ the feeling of doing it or it would ‘feel’ good I swear I really don’t know what to do it feels incredibly real I feel like I can’t even say that I’m worried or scared because I feel like I’m lying and actually want it and have evil desires I’m really concerned, I have never done anything bad in my life, I feel like what if through experimenting and imagining the thoughts to test myself I have suddenly discovered I like it because it feels extremely real that I would ‘enjoy’ or like Doing that evil thing and it’s really concerning, i don’t understand I was fine a few days ago and suddenly I’m experiencing this? Is it possible to suddenly become evil i don’t want to be evil, but what if i like it and my desire to not be evil isn’t as strong as this ‘happy feeling’ i wish I can be normal I don’t want any of this please but I swear I feel like there is something wrong with me, I think this is the worst I’ve ever felt, like it feels like I want it and would enjoy it and it’s making me feel really worried but at the same time I don’t even know if I’m worried please help I need advice
- Date posted
- 20w
At the beginning of this year, I experienced false memories for the first time about watching bad stuff online, which I have never done in my life. I then turned to hours upon hours of googling and researching about it and reading articles about it. I'd sometimes google the same articles or topics multiple times a day. I then also remembered that I watched a clip once from Big Mouth (not knowing they were teens at the time). I became so afraid that I was being watched by the authorities or my ISP simply for doing research that I impulsively deleted my Google activity and became extremely paranoid that I was a bad person and a criminal, even though I'd never ever had these types of thoughts before. Then felt bad afterwards because I was like omg what if i am bad because what if it seems like I'm trying to hide a crime. I just really hate myself rn. I know we shouldn't ask for reassurance, but I'm more just pondering this, does this make me a bad person? Is there anyone else who has experienced something similar? Does this mean I still have OCD? or am I truly just only worried about how other people see me? Even while typing this, I'm asking myself, what does this all mean.
- Older adults with OCD
- NOCD Therapy Alumni
- Real Events OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- POCD
- Date posted
- 17w
Around 10 years ago when I started getting violent OCD intrusive thoughts, I also started fearing that I was a sociopath. I began overanalyzing everything — especially my emotions. It's like if I could prove I had emotions it proved I wasn't a sociopath. I care deeply about my family — I worry about them, I want them to be safe and happy, I want them to get theit deepest desires — but I don’t know what love "feels" like, if its supposed to feel like anything. People describe love as this warm, obvious, fuzzy emotion, but I don’t experience it the way I think I’m supposed to. Is it supposed to be intense? Constant? Loud? Because I’m not sure I’ve ever felt that. My family isn’t very emotionally expressive either. I cherish hugs from them when I get them, I initiate most hugs with my parents (but I don't like hugs from other people, like co workers) but overall my family doesnt show affection much, and that’s made me question if I’m even capable of love. I overanalyze my feelings constantly — especially after realizing I don’t feel connected to God in the way my old church said I should. I don’t love God. I don’t feel anything toward Him — we’ve never met obviously so I just never got a connection with Him. But growing up, that felt like a sin in itself. As a teen, I felt ashamed knowing I cared more for my parents than for God, especially when church messages said God had to come first. There’s a song by Mary Mary that says, “I love you more than my mother, my father…” and it used to make me feel broken. My feelings were in direct contradiction with what I was taught, and that shame never fully left me. OCD latched onto that hard. It’s only after a coworker passed away — and I found myself crying multiple times over it — that I realized I do care deeply for people. But even that realization felt pathetic. Why did I need such an extreme moment to feel something “real”? & why didn't I care for another creepy bigoted co worker when his son was sick? I felt nothing. I’m scared my OCD is convincing me that I’m heartless, even though I want connection. I crave love. I like hugs. It’s exhausting and terrifying to doubt my own humanity like this. I hate this fear. I hate that I don’t trust myself. I hate that OCD makes me question my morality, my emotions — everything that makes me me. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? How do I even explain this to a therapist
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