I'm sorry if posting this seems like reassurance post but I just need to get this out... I googled symptoms of psychopaths again because my mom got really upset and I didn't feel sad or as empathic as I felt like I should. Of course it didn't help. Saw post saying psychopaths fake cry, then got me worried and scared that when I cry it's fake or i don't mean it. It especially makes me think that cause one minute I can be crying and the next just empty. I saw they lack empathy or quilt or remorse. Maybe it's just emtional numb/empty from depression or depersonilzation, but I worry what if i don't truly feel those things? What if I'm a heartless apathetic person? I get scared that what if I can't feel those things? It talked about how they commit crimes and some enjoy causing pain or hurting or even killing others, but I would never do something like that...I'd never find joy In something like that. Another concern is I don't feel I feel things like I should. Most emtions feel empty...I get scared I've forgotten how to feel love, happy, etc. I read about how they don't have a conscience, would someone who is crazy beware they don't have conscience? I'm sorry for all this, It might come off as reassurance and if so, I wasn't trying to..... I just needed to get this out.

If you want a good ERP excersize while you look for therapy (i HIGHLY recommend therapy through NOCD. It has helped me TREMENDOUSLY). Try to sit with the thoughts of maybe being or becoming a psychopath. Try to tell yourself "maybe i am or maybe im not its possible i may bea psychopath. I dont have the answer to that" WITHOUT doing any type of compulsions. You checking and searching and trying to find an answer is only making your OCD worse. If you feel comfortable with trying that i would HIGHLY recommend it. Good luck!! Let me know how it goes. P.S : it will be scary, it will be hard, you might want to do a lot of compulsions but the point is NOT to do them. Sit and focus on those thoughts of "maybe i am or maybe i will become one i dont know".

Honestly what I’d say to do is write this out just like this , and give it to your therapist. If you have one

I felt this way in my early teens and only now do i realise it was ocd my doctor and therapists have all reasured me that i was not and am not a psychopath intrusive thoughts all come in many forms and i would have empty feelings and sometimes feel completely nothing for months i did all the same googling but i too never wanted to hurt or enjoyed hurting others the utter fact you're concered about it and are asking is enough to say you're not a psychopath