Anyone else knows this feeling when you are getting better and start to do things in life again and get a glimpse of normality back and then OCD hits you with "you don't deserve this" "you forgot that you did a bad thing" "you can't go on without having it figured out"...? I don't want you guys to tell me what I should do, I know I should accept those thoughts and continue. Is it reassurance seeking if I would like to have some support on this? ?

Hey Klau, glad and sad that you are feeling the same way! It is very hard, but we have to accept the uncertainty right? Everyone has to accept the uncertainty. I've dealt with HOCD before and it is so important and was a major turning point in my recovery when I said "well maybe you will, maybe you won't. That's what everybody has to deal with." and eventually, it completely disappeares and I am free of distress when I get intrusive thoughts about harming someone. It shifted to another theme, but we have to celebrate every little step!

@SoMi1907 I know. Sometimes is really hard though. I sometimes feel bad because my OCD tells me that maybe I don’t have OCD because my main and hardest theme I noticed is HOCD. And so I believe I must be a lesbian and it’s a matter of sexual orientation and not HOCD. Even though I am a person that obsesses over everything.

@Klau I feel the same way...have you read something about meta ocd? When you start obsessing about whether or not you even have ocd?

@SoMi1907 I haven’t. I mean I know sometimes your OCD makes you brlieve you might not have OCD, but I don’t have much info. I told my therapist about what I was thinking and he laughed it off, because he was the one who diagnosed me. I told him that I was thinking that maybe I was so good at lying that I masked all the symptoms and so he diagnosed me with HOCD. Obviously it was OCD logic.

Yeah and I don't want to reassure myself by saying that I am a good person because I am scared that it will strengthen my ocd. My boyfriends father visited last weekend and he is the one i once masturbated to and now feel so incredibly guilty about. I always liked my boyfriends family and I was always very comfortable around them, but since I remembered what I did I feel terrible and this was the first time he visited since I remembered the incident. I felt uncomfortable and on edge but I told myself that eventually it will get better and just because I feel uncomfortable right now doesn't mean I will feel like this forever. But when I told my therapist about it she said that this would be neutralizing and I should not do it.

@SoMi1907 And I was kind of confused because I did not think that this was reassuring, I didn't say that I had no reason to feel that way but that it will get better. Is this reassurance too?