is it true that no amount of anxiety can change the future?

But yeah, nope anxiety itself has no magical impact on what the future will turn out like. It's usually needless suffering.

@Scoggy thank you for your ideology. i’m worried about my past being exposed from accidentally using my real name/number on certain messaging accounts. i did some horrible stuff on those accounts. and i’m worried that if i actually did use my real name, someone could out me to the world. the anxiety i’m experiencing feels like at any moment i’m going to die.

@MakeAChange It sounds like you're thinking in terms of worst case scenarios. I think the reality is that you'd be able to cope with it if that did happen- we can really reduce our urges to control a situation by building up our sense of being able to cope with a crappy outcome. I know that's not easy in the age of cancel culture, but tbh not everyone in the world is going to like any person, you kind of have to decide whose opinions really matter for you. If I were you, then I'd care more about the opinions of the sort of people who are able to apply compassion and see your youth and your home life and don't think that it needs to define you or your future, than of the sort of people who hop on every hate train that pulls into the station to avoid looking at their own mistakes. You would be able to argue for yourself, you would still have resources for support, you would have important things like your family. Two quotes I find helpful "to understand is to forgive", and "rock bottom is a great foundation to build a life on". The uncertanty about whether the fear will come true feels like torture, it ACTUALLY coming true would probably have a pretty big element of relief- it's freedom. I'd actually suggest to consider the prospect of voluntarily sharing that part of your past with people you trust, both so you can hear a more compassionate perspective and so that it feels less like a big threatening secret. People who are able to understand and give you that more reasonable perspective, are likely to be people you could depend on if it ever came true. Hopefully you'll eventually be able to come to the point of saying... "If that happens, I'll deal with it, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, I would survive it and be able to move forward".

@Scoggy I am thinking worst case scenario. but i think that’s the whole point. my anxiety is telling me that’s it’s actually going to happen. I understand what you’re saying, and of course i appreciate your words. but i do not think i would be able to cope with people knowing. you do not know the fine details of the things i said/did on these messaging accounts to random people. they are disturbing. i do realize that not everyone is going to like everyone. i have only told 1 person in my life about everything i’ve done. she has been through similar things though, so of course she understands and shows compassion towards me. but i know she would be the only one. i realize that everyone has their own mistakes, and when they see that other people are being exposed for theirs, they immediately have something to say about it to feel better about themselves, but regarding my mistake.. i feel as if EVERYONE would have something to say. my family would abandon me, my friends would hate me, everything. i don’t think i could argue with anything anyone would have to say nor have the resources to do so. i had no reason for doing it, yet i still did. no explanation. you are correct about the fact that there would be relief in it. however, that relief would quickly turn into shame. it would turn into me realizing that everyone knows what i did, and that i’m a horrible person. it would be over for me. i do not think i have people in my life who are that understanding and compassionate. i do not even have a therapist, which i’m not sure if you can tell, but i really need one. i’m just going to tell you right now, if that ever actually DID happen, i would end my life. i’m sorry for being so frank. but it’s the honest truth.