My head has been spinning and it's worse rn. Ive been trying to go vegan/ vegetarian and looked up how to be vegan if you have a dog who eats meat. And it had like two sides, some said switch to vegan dog food to stop farm animal suffering and then others said they let their dogs eat dog food because they are meat eaters. I'm so confused on what to do, my head feels so foggy and my head is racing

I’m not sure if this is OCD related but it causes extreme anxiety. Are there any vegetarians/vegans here? I was once a vegetarian and had to go back eating meat because I would bruise very easily. Then I became flexitarian and pescatarian. Now I’m craving meat but the problem is I’m feeling guilty because I’m an animal lover and an advocate and I care about animal welfare. And unfortunately majority aren’t humanely treated. I don’t know if it’s OCD related but it really causes anxiety for me. That if I eat meat I’m a horrible person and that I’m a hypocrite.

How have you built up better eating habits? I’m getting overwhelmed. I was told to eat more fat, tons of veggies, less carbs, avoid gluten. I’ve been trying for eight weeks to do this. The shopping, meal planning, recipe-finding, cooking, storing is overwhelming.

Today I woke up with the intrusive thought „did I harm my dog sexually during the night?“. My brain is specifically relating to the time of 3:57 when I woke up once. From what I remember I only woke up and thought abt going to the toilet but being too lazy and scared of the night so I went back to sleep. But I keep being worried I might have actually been up before that time and done sth. Like I seriously have no Memoires of doing so. Only things that I know were produced by my imagination bc they’re not really possible. I’ve already asked my mother if she had heard me go downstairs at night (we have like some kind of door that keeps you from falling down the stairs which is quite loud to open) but she said she doesn’t know and she hadn’t heard anything and said she’s 100% sure nothing had happened due to how my dog doesn’t seem to care at all and seems to not be scared of me. I’ve also thought abt asking my father and sister but they can’t actually hear anything. Maybe at like 3 am they were up tho for a snack? I know my father often goes to the kitchen at night to eat sth and my sister too. I guess I’ll ask both of them tomorrow. And the thing is that we actually have a camera in our garden which captures a bit of the door where my dog always sleeps and we have a light there so I could’ve been able to check up for my dog in the cameras. Turned out that my parents had turned the camera off at some point. Seems like they only wanted to capture stupid animals hopping onto our car and watching our own family go into the house. Wonderful. I don’t know what to do. The only thing I could now do is either trust my memories and let it go or check for the logic. Last time I was scared I might’ve hurt my dog, I realised that it wasn’t possible for that to have happened and that all of my memories were false. But to be honest, I’m so tired I don’t want to fill 5 days of my life with checking the logic of my obsession. I’ve had multiple su!cide thoughts by now. I’ve spent almost half my day crying. This is my lowest point. I can’t accept the uncertainty. I’m so far in this rn I actually today decided to lock my room from now on and hide my key, take a picture of it to remember it’s exact position and then close the door of the wardrobe I’m hiding it in and putting tape around the openings of the doors from the wardrobe. I seriously don’t want to keep living if this is the life my brain chose to give me.