Oi. It’s crazy how complicated small, mundane tasks can become. Need to mail an item. Are my hands clean enough to handle this item? Oh, it touched the bed, is it contaminated? It touched the Forbidden Towel! It’s ok. It’s ok. Wait! Can’t let this object touch the floor!! Oh no, the packing tape is in the Contamination Drawer with the Forbidden Pencil! It’s ok! Use the tape! Must pack this correctly so it doesn’t get damaged. Oh no! Did I damage it?! Should I unwrap it to make sure it’s not damaged?? I think maybe it’s dented! If I send it damaged, I’m a dishonest person. I should confess that maybe I damaged it!! ...I know y’all know. I think I’ll leave it wrapped and risk being an awful dishonest person...

Estrid

Date posted: 5y

This could be me. Exactly...I hope you could stand the discomfort and do what you had to do.

Fathomable

Date posted: 5y

Oh man the "I should say I did the thing I'm worried about having done, just in case I did it because if I don't then I'm not an honest person" hits home. Leaving the topic be and not checking or confessing when you still have unsure feelings is insanely difficult, these were the first OCD symptoms I got as an adult and I thought it was my conscience/that this is the right way to approach it. Definitely just take the risk that it's true. Also if possible then try to challenge the idea that you're an awful person if you don't confess anything bad or harmful you think you might have done. If someone confronts you with something AND it makes sense/you ACTUALLY remember doing it, you can always apologise.

Alyosha

Date posted: 5y

“Try to challenge the idea you’re an awful person”—yes!!! I didn’t realize that telling myself “Whatever. I don’t care. I’m a terrible person” could actually be a compulsion until I listened to Jon Hershfield talk about it. Like, “If I can make myself feel awf, then I won’t have to feel anxious and won’t have to deal with this incongruity of wanting to be good but maybe having done something bad.”

Fathomable

Date posted: 5y

@Alyosha Totally. I've had stages of just trying to accept the things my OCD suggests I've done along with the implications it says about what kind of person I am, just to not have to keep suffering so much from resisting it and getting so much guilt. Telling yourself "I don't care, I'm a terrible person who does terrible things, fine, I don't feel guilty, I don't care about their feelings, I'm evil" is an attempt to feel a little more powerful and in control in a situation where your OCD is basically just bullying you. It's actually really similar to confessing even though it looks totally different, it's DEFINITELY all about taking away the feeling of wanting to be a good person but the OCD challenging you on the idea that you are. I hadn't realised there was someone talking about it specifically, I'd love if you could shoot me a link.

Alyosha

Date posted: 5y

@Scoggy Sure! I’ll send the link. I’ll need to look for it.

Alyosha

Date posted: 5y

Sister says to leave it wrapped. Me: “But...I think maybe it’s too tight. I think it’s denting the corners.” Sister: “Leave it wrapped.” So. It’s staying wrapped............

ARTnotOCD

Date posted: 5y

Good sister! Good job to both of you!

Alyosha

Date posted: 5y

@ARTnotOCD Thanks ?

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