Hi guys i'm 23 and i feel like a loser and everyone around me thinks sorry this has nothing to do with my ocd but i just feel like i need to share this with you

Feels a little weird to talk about this here, but here goes. I'm 22 and I've never been in a relationship and I feel a lot of pressure to just get into one already, but i'm afraid to bc i don't think anyone would want me since i have ocd and the stigma against mental illness is so freaking terrible. I do catch feelings more often than I'd like to admit, but i usually let any oppurtunity to date someone slip by bc i feel like a nonentity and like they wouldn't /really/ be interested in me if they found out i have ocd.

Does anyone else with ocd feel like they’re gonna be alone forever? I’m 21 and have never had a girlfriend or even kissed anyone and it makes me feel like a loser. Every time I try to get close to a woman I’m interested in I always get friend zoned. I feel like I’m never going to find anyone and it sucks seeing all of my fiends in relationships and getting married, having kids and being happy. I feel like I’m gonna be the one that’s always left out.

This isnt really OCD related but rather just a vent post. I wanted to leave my feelings somewhere so feel free to ignore this. I feel like im going to die at this point, since i can remember ive been dealing with thisbfeeling of alienation and loneliness (yknow, the autistic experience) vut i dont know how longer i can keep up with it. I feel like ive failed at the most basic things that make a human being, making friends, having a job, studying, romance. I see everyone around me reach greater heights while i am stuck in one place and i feel like im going to rot in the spot. I only have two friends, one of them is away in another state preparing to be a priest and we can go for months without talking and still act so close, but im afraid hes ultimately going to leave. My other friend, my best friend for 7/8 years is also drifting away this very moment, she's in her last year of uni and will grafuate as a technician, she has a wonderful boyfriend and friends who lives overseas and she has plans to leave the country in some future. Im obviously beyond happy for them and what theyre achieving but i cant keep acting like im not rotting with envy, they have so much going on for themselves and so many people around them i feel like at any moment i will no longer be part of their lives and theyre going to be okay with it. I cant keep acting like that wouldnt kill me inside, i love seeing them succed but i hate knowing that im such a failure in just doomed to fall behind and just watch as everyone moves on. Its always been like this with every friendship ive had and at this point i dont know how longer am i willing to take it, this crippling feeling is something you never get used to, it always hurt the same and living out of resignation is horrible. i dont want to live a life repeating this painful meaningless cycle.