Something important my therapist told me was that I shouldn’t get lost in the contents of my thoughts, but focus on what ties them all together instead— which is uncertainty. Uncertainty is the problem in every theme and situation my mind comes up with. Nothing else matters but solving that issue, not each individual disturbing obsession.

catattak

Date posted: 5y

I find it so difficult to accept the uncertainty. I feel like I was raised to have a plan for everything.

Mike1234

Date posted: 5y

Ocd will tie thoughts together. I call it “chaining” and build up a storyline to cause fear, doubt and distress.

199903

Date posted: 5y

This is such a big problem for me! Do you have any advice on how you untangle the chain??

199903

Date posted: 5y

My therapist said something similar! Each different fear just ties into the overarching theme of being a bad person for me. It’s not worth analysing the ways OCD shows up today, it’s about learning to sit with the overall theme of uncertainty ?

worryqueen

Date posted: 5y

Yes, I’m the same! I think when you start to notice the underlying theme it all starts to click

Mike1234

Date posted: 5y

Having the awareness that ocd will link these fears/thoughts together let’s you know that it’s the ocd and “not you” bringing them together. So you can neutralize them before they get out of hand. Hope that makes sense.

199903

Date posted: 5y

Oooh that’s so hard. My biggest problem lately is that OCD plagued me with so much doubt it makes my obsessions feel true. I’m very afraid I don’t find crimes wrong enough and if I don’t I’ll do something horrible. I’m not sure that makes a lot of sense, but do you have any advice on how to apply that to a situation that seems to have a shred of truth?

Mike1234

Date posted: 5y

So is it tied to harm ocd? Storyline of “if” statements like in computer programming: So (if / then)this condition is not met, than (what if) this horrible thing (uncertainty) might happen. Ok run the program: Start (ruminations) and Loop above statements until anxiety & exhaustion occur. It’s an endless loop. You have to recognize how your brain is working and intervene with the “pause” key and sit with the uncomfortable feelings and marinate in the anxiety until it slowly dissipates. It takes practice and baby steps.

199903

Date posted: 5y

For me it’s tied to POCD, but ultimately it could be anything. For context, I had an intrusive thought one day where I thought “what is it that makes it wrong to abuse a child”. It scared me a lot since I’ve never doubted that before, so I began compulsively listing out reasons why it would be terrible. Now I’m never afraid that I could be a pedophile since I don’t find it wrong enough, even though my whole life I’ve loved kids and wanted a family. I love your example of running it like a program. Brings me back to my computer science days in uni! It absolutely is a loop that never ends. My fear is that if I stop ruminating, I’m accepting that I don’t find it wrong and I’m a horrible person who could hurt someone. I don’t know how I can learn to not be anxious and live my life when I think I’m going to hurt someone. Sorry for the super long message! I hope that helps make some sense of it

Mike1234

Date posted: 5y

So the uncertainty of not being able to fully answer you original intrusive thought, has placed you in a holding pattern. Being in a “state of unknown” is bothering you deeply. It has scared you that this thought might actually be possible and that you might be a bad person. Is that correct?

199903

Date posted: 5y

Yes absolutely. When it got to the point where I felt I didn’t have an answer after all the why questions, I felt so scared it means all my scary intrusive thoughts are true and that I’m a bad person, and that I will do bad things. Does that make sense? It’s hard to put it into words

Mike1234

Date posted: 5y

Yes. I can see how all of those thoughts cycling around on a constant basis would cause worry and doubt. Intrusive thoughts like to sow seeds of doubt. What are you doing to change the script that you’re reading back to yourself. Remember intrusive thoughts, are just that intrusive thoughts.

Mike1234

Date posted: 5y

Yes. It makes sense. I understand. This article goes over pocd and how the pocd theme operates and how to run exposures to reduce the anxiety. Please review and let’s discuss. https://www.madeofmillions.com/articles/monster-overview-common-features-treatment-pocd

199903

Date posted: 5y

Thank you, that article highlights a lot of worries I’ve experienced over the past months. I guess my biggest fear is that I really am a pedophile and don’t have OCD. I used to be so repulsed by these thoughts and now when they come up, I get stuck about why it’s a bad thing to do. I just KNOW it is but my brain is constantly saying why’s it bad?? -> they can’t consent -> why can’t they consent? -> because they’re too young and don’t understand -> what does age change?? -> it means it’s gross and I shouldn’t think about it -> but why’s it wrong? And so on. I hope that explains the thought process. I feel like a monster.

Mike1234

Date posted: 5y

Here’s an article on treating pocd from Jon Hersfield. Interesting read: https://www.sheppardpratt.org/news-views/story/pocd-part-2-treating-pedophile-themed-ocd/

199903

Date posted: 5y

It causes a lot of worry and doubt for sure. These feel like more than just intrusive thoughts since they feel so real, I really do feel like maybe I don’t find it wrong enough and that would be awful. I guess the constant search for certainty is making things worse for my anxiety, but it’s so hard to drop the search when it feels so real. I don’t know how to break the cycle of thoughts which is why it’s so hard!

199903

Date posted: 5y

Thank you for sharing the article! This article has bought me a lot of comfort and knowledge before. Jon Hershfield is truly amazing

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond