I would like to urge people with hocd to not use any offensive language... as a lesbian I see people using terms like ‘abnormal’ and ‘disgusting’ used to describe my sexuality. I know you’re scared of losing your sense of self and identity, but that does not give you the right to treat the lgbt community as if it’s something bad and sinful. Please, think of your language.

Thank you, Katie!

There’s a long history with terms like “abnormal,” and “disgusting,” being used against the LGBT community though and we’d appreciate it if you respected that and found a different and more respectful way to talk about it.

@Nikki1809 Thanks.. i will for sure find a more respectful way :)

@Nikki1809 For some, depending on one's age, the term "abnormal" is well ingrained in many minds because until 1970, homosexuality was listed as a disorder in the DSM. Even if you are in your mid to late 40s today, that is still remembered by many people. Abnormal psychology textbooks that discussed homosexuality as a disorder did not suddenly disappear from libraries and bookstores when homosexuality was reclassified from a disorder to an orientation. Your point is well taken but try to understand that, for many older individuals, the memory of homosexuality being discussed in abnormal psych books still lingers in the mind and is not necessarily intended to be said in disparagement. But, as I said, your point is definitely well taken.

@SilverArman Thank you @silverarman

@Fear Strikes Out That’s some of the history I’m talking about and is very painful for us because it lead to things like conversion therapy, which causes high levels of suicide. It all only makes it more painful when those words are used.

@Nikki1809 I understand. You did well to express how you felt about this issue. ?

@Fear Strikes Out People who are ignorant can still learn to listen and change their language and mindset when they realize how it hurts people. If they refuse to, it’s just homophobia.

@worryqueen I agree, though I do not think that using terms like "homophobia" will be very persuasive or effective with many others.

@Fear Strikes Out Hi Fear Strikes Out :). I am so glad you're participating in this conversation. It's clear you're open-minded. A question to reflect on: would you have the same response if the issue was racism? Imagine there was a pattern of people in the community using negative racialized language and another community member spoke up about it. How would you feel about the response "depending on ones age, negative views about black people are standard. It's the world we grew up in. It's not like the sources that taught us being Black was inferior just disappeared after the civil rights movement. You make a good point, but need to understand that the memories and lessons learned about white people being better than black people still linger in the mind. When they say slurs and make stigmatizing comments, they aren't intended as disparagement"

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Katie, that's a fair comment. I probably should have given it more thought before responding to Nikki.

@Fear Strikes Out It's ok to still be learning. We've all got to do that our whole lives. Assuredly in thirty years the young people will be middle aged people adjusting to new standards. some if the things we think are acceptable will be identified as harmful. Hopefully we can engage in conversations like this one to better understand ourselves and the world, just as you're doing now

@Fear Strikes Out For many of us, “mental retardation” was also a clinical term. Just because we may slip up or think in antiquated terms, doesn’t mean we don’t now have the responsibility to grow and change with society. The other day I had to keep correcting my using “she/her” pronouns for someone who goes by “they/them”. I’ve told them before that if I slip, it’s not because I don’t value them; it’s because I need to retrain my brain (and fight all the grammar that was drilled into me). However, it’s still my responsibility to change and grow and correct myself if I do stumble.

@ARTnotOCD Can you give me an example in sentence form of how you used "she/her" in lieu of the preferred "they/them"? Thanks

@Fear Strikes Out It can be as simple as, “I asked her to pass the creamer for my coffee.” Though last night it was more like, “I admitted to her that my mind still initially sees her as female, and then I have to remind myself she’s non-binary.” Though it was really more like, “I admitted to her, I mean them, that...”. They weren’t even with me last night, but retraining the brain can’t just happen when they are there.

@ARTnotOCD That will take some concerted effort and, as you said, re-training the mind.

@Fear Strikes Out Yes! Good luck to us all with it. If anything, those of us with OCD wind up with a lot of re-training our minds. ???

@ARTnotOCD LOL! I was thinking the very same thing as I was responding to your last post.