- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Sorry to hear you are suffering right now :( About googling compulsively, a good exposure would be to force yourself not to google while reminding you why are not giving in, aka giving priority to your life, goals and values (I am rephrasing what a NOCDAdvocate wrote just a few minutes ago about a similar question that was posted today, maybe you can check the thread out :) ). Could delay going to the hospital help you? I noticed that sometimes I pay a lot of attention to some symptoms and once I tell myself that I'll do something in a week if it's still going bad and let some days pass, sometimes I realize that anxiety was heightening my body sensations and that I was actually okay :) Hope you'll find a way to feel a little but better soon, take care ♡
- Date posted
- 4y ago
my biggest compulsion for both my suicidal and health ocd is googling so i completely understand where you’re coming from. i know it stems from avoidance but something i’ve been practicing is either waiting to google til a certain time or just placing a time blocker on my google so it double checks that i want to. i know it’s super hard but i promise we can get through this. mine is exasturbated by the fact i’ve been researching possible hypermobility conditions i could have with my doctor which is triggering me at the moment
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Thank you so much. I forgot to mention this in my post but I recently got engaged and ever since my health anxiety has gotten much worse. I’m at a point in my life where I’m really excited for my future and nothing scares me more than the idea of getting terminally ill...
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@bellabean well at least you understand why you’re so scared! that’s a big step! once you understand the fear you can ground yourself in that. we can do this ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@cwllms Thank you. Seriously this app is so helpful. It’s nice to be able to talk with others who understand the struggle.♥️
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@bellabean completely!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Thank you so much!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 12w ago
Hi everyone. I'm feeling kinda scared because I have to wait a whole month to start ERP therapy, but I feel like I need to start doing exposures now because the longer I wait, the more anxiety I get. It just feels like the OCD monster is getting worse. One thing that helps me is asking one person about an obsession I have...asking a person that I trust, and then doing an exposure after I get the "ok" to do it. I feel like I do need 1 reassurance and then I can go ahead and do it. I know i'm not supposed to ask for reassurance at all, but i dont think you're supposed to do ERP on your own right? Does anyone have any suggestions for what to do while waiting for therapy? PS-the reason there is a wait is bc she's on vacation. After she's back we will meet regularly.
- Date posted
- 9w ago
I know a few of you saw my posts about my ERP and the googling urges. That didn’t end up going well. My therapist actually decided we needed to halt it for now. The thing is it’s almost like I learned googling is harmless from those few exercises and my brain keeps generating more things to google. Normally I would just spiral and be done but now I can barely hold back from searching for long. I eventually give in. I’m horrified because it feels like I want to find illegal content. I swear on everything I am, I don’t want to find anything even close to it. I’m freaking out because I don’t understand what’s happening. I keep compulsively searching/testing/checking or idk. I keep remembering details and I feel like I need to google again to be sure of something. I feel absolutely insane can someone please help me??? I’m petrified I’m going to get in trouble.
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- Date posted
- 8w ago
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
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