Possible trigger for someone with religious ocd When I was in eighth grade I had this INTENSE fear that God was gonna come back and the whole rapture was gonna happen before I could live out my life. It lasted a few months. And I'm wondering if that was a little OCD episode? I was obsessed with it and would constantly talk about my fear in hopes of getting reassurance and I'd contsantly ask my Mormon grandmother "hey, will I be able to live my life when god comes back?" and would feel relieved for only a little bit. Now it doesn't effect me cuz it wore off and I'm no longer Christian, but it was still terrifying at the time. I'm literally baffled. I have never noticed my OCD symptoms my whole life until now, really. Honestly I'm a little relieved knowing I've had symptoms other than my childhood ones. It gives me hope that this REALLY IS just pocd and not the real thing. There is so much proof leaning toward it just being OCD, and now this? It's made me a little happy, at least for tonight. Anyone else suddenly remember things like this and were like "how did I not know this before"?

[Deleted]

Date posted: 5y

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Eljaeee

Date posted: 5y

Honestly ?! We've just gotta get through it. I'm just so surprised I've never noticed these things before!

catattak

Date posted: 5y

YES. ME. I've always been afraid of getting sick. I used to ask my mom if I had food poisoning all the time and microwave my food after my mother cooked it because i was scared my piece was still raw. I'd come up against anxious thoughts about school work or getting sick at university and distinctly remember having conversations with my mother where I would layer on new facts or new situations as to what happened and why I might actually be sick. She used to get so frustrated with me to the point that actually when i was 15, she wouldnt take me to the hospital this one time and she made me wait for my father to get home because she said i always thought i was sick. It turned out in that one instance that I my appendix was actually going to explode and i needed emergency surgery to have it removed (which obviously fed my fear of, even if no one believes I'm sick, I clearly am, because remember that one time with my appendix). I only discovered I have contamination ocd with the pandemic because I've been trapped in my bathroom many days washing my hands, sanitizing my belongings and then locking myself in a separate bedroom from my husband. But I look back at those aforementioned memories and am like "DUDE how did no one suspect this about me??"

Eljaeee

Date posted: 5y

For real!!!!! It's like "how did NO ONE notice?" Or "how did I not notice?" It's honestly baffling! But I'm glad you've identified this now!

catattak

Date posted: 5y

@Eljaeee For real!! I actually was thinking all about this today and am annoyed I didnt start going to therapy until i was an adult for anxiety. Like my parents had benefits and could have sent me (i was also a suicidal teen and my parents knew i was partaking in self harm and lots of drugs) and no one thought "hey....we should maybe send her to therapy?" Well at least I'm doing it now and that's the important part.

Eljaeee

Date posted: 5y

@catattak What???? They knew that and didn't think to get help? Kinda sus ? And you couldn't have said it better! It's now that important ☺️

catattak

Date posted: 5y

@Eljaeee I actually came crying to them one day bleeding just after I had hurt myself and asked them to please help me. My mom was actually abused as a child and I think she has always suffered heavily with ptsd and depression from it. I think she was very overwhelmed and didnt know how to help me because she also wasnt in therapy. Breaking the cycle is the most important part. She didnt abuse me and I've found my way into therapy.

catattak

Date posted: 5y

@Eljaeee Now if I were to have kids, I'd ha e resources for them.

Eljaeee

Date posted: 5y

@catattak Oh my gosh, yes me as well. I'd do anything for my kids if I have them. I've also had a similar experience and they didn't take therapy into consideration either. Parents, amirite? Is your mother in therapy now? I hope she's doing better, I can see how that could have been really stressful and overwhelming.

Eljaeee

Date posted: 5y

@catattak I'm also very glad you're doing better as well!

catattak

Date posted: 5y

@Eljaeee It's great that we can take what we've learned and feel prepared to share it with the next generation. She isnt. She doesnt trust therapists. A lot of work in therapy is kind of learning how YOU can react to ther terrible things around you. The few times shes gone, she felt the therapist was blaming her, rather than realizing we are the only ones we can control. A therapist wont sit there and say "yeah you should be sad, they suck! We hate them!". They'll say "that's awful, how can we work to overcome and accept the thoughts we are having about it?". She thinks the world is against her.

Eljaeee

Date posted: 5y

Ah yes, "the world is against me" mindset. I completely understand where she's coming from, since my mother's the same way. It's possible she may want to try again if she found the right therapist, which is also hard to do especially if she's unwilling. Micheline Maalouf would probably be a good one for her, she's very accepting and kind! I know her from social media, she's a doll. She's only licensed in Florida though, so... still check her out! But either way, life must still go on! I just hope you can both get better together.

catattak

Date posted: 5y

Hoping the same for you! Thank you for the suggestion ?

Eljaeee

Date posted: 5y

@catattak You're welcome and thank you ❤️❤️❤️

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