Ocd ruined my future For a year, I was dating this wonderful person who i loved very much. 3 months ago she broke up with me. One of the reasons was she couldn't keep up with where my ocd was taking me. I'm doing better but I was devasted/suicidal with what ocd has been taking away from me. And in the end, it took away the only thing I care about. My only consolation is that she deserves better so it's a good thing we broke up. I've become so numb that I won't ever be in another relationship again. I won't love anyone else nor vice versa. I don't care if I'm dead or alive. Theres nothing for me here. My birthday is next week and it will be bullshit I'm so sorry for venting.

^^this. I got fired from a job that was my whole world, and I almost killed my self. But instead I called some friends, stayed at their place for the night, got more dedicated to doing therapy, and switched up my medication. It’s made a world of difference for me. I’ve still got a ways to go but life feels worth living again. Hang in there, things can turn around!

I can't. I really can't. First, therapy in my country sucks ass. (I apologise if I'm being rude) the professionals are super judgemental over anything I tell them. I've had the experience before. And I hated it. They simply didn't care and were unprofessional. I don't have an ocd specialist in my country so it all makes things worse. I'm really happy for you. I'm really happy you haven't died. But there's nothing in this life for me than to wait for death

@myocdstory Second, I have to pretend I'm ok around my family or ill have a bad mood in the house.

@myocdstory There’s ways to implement erp yourself. https://www.get.gg/ocd.htm https://www.psychologytools.com/professional/problems/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/ Here’s just a couple resources.

@Nikki1809 I have to ask: are you going to be able to keep yourself safe?

@Nikki1809 For now, yes. Don't worry. I'll hold on. I have to. I don't want her to think my suicide was her fault.

@myocdstory Ok. Let us know if you need anything. We’re all here for you. I know it’s not the same as in person friendships, but this community is very supportive.

@myocdstory Keep going to different therapists until you find one that works for you. Not all are the same. Just because one or two were judgmental, doesn’t mean they all will be. Also not every therapist works for everyone. My therapist has done so much for me but a friend of mine hated her. And there are tonsss of recourses online for help too.

@alyssaw13 I’ve also been reading the book “freedom from obsessive compulsive disorder” by johnathan Grayson. It’s helped me a little too, though I haven’t finished it yet. It explains a lot and gives you ways to do ERP yourself.

@alyssaw13 Great book. Overcoming Intrusive Thoughts by Sally Winston and Martin Seif is a great book to look at as well.

@JOB7575 I’ll check it out! Thank tou

@Nikki1809 Thank you so much for your support... You are so sweet...

@alyssaw13 I can't. At least, until I move out. My parents would not like that. It's difficult. But I'll try to check out that book!

Thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️

@myocdstory :))

I'm so sorry for being negative but it won't get better. It only gets worse. I'm just waiting to die.

@myocdstory That is some kd the most negative talk I have ever heard. Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you look at it, as long as you’re lucky enough to not have been born into absolute poverty. Philosophy for me has been a saving grace. As time goes by my mind gets stronger and stronger. I get up at 630 on the weekends just to exercise my will. I am so sorry that you’ve had to endure all of this - as we all have - but you need to find reasons to keep going. Life can be terrible but there are also many beautiful things to be excited about and tons of reasons to have hope. I promise you no matter how bad your OCD you can make progress if you are willing to step into your fear. You deserve it, and you deserve to be happy. And you CAN DO IT! Believe in yourself, because I believe in you. And so does everyone else here.

@TheBigCahuna Thank you! I'm really happy you have will power! I have gradually trying to find mine along with fighting ocd. It hasn't been easy. Plus I suffer from insomnias.

@myocdstory Find things you like that have nothing to do with your obsession. I love getting up early now and going for a run during the quiet of the morning. Listening to philosophy, reading books about health. You don’t need to wait until you’re better to have things to live for :)

@TheBigCahuna That's good advice

;-; I needed to hear that... Thank you..

Thank you so much!! And I'm really happy for you!

I hope everything goes well for you!! ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you... I mean it

@myocdstory No problem! ❤️

I just... I don't think things will ever get better. Maybe neutral, yes. But I'm tired of that... Its OK. Really, thank you for your support!

And no, I'm not in therapy for a couple of reasons.

@myocdstory Hey. You don't love your self. But other people do. I've never met someone who attempted suicide who didnt later regret it. Everyone is here for a reason. You feel alone, but if you were to die today, you'll never be able to find someone else, to find soemthing to be happy about. I need you here. Your posts add to my recovery and my wellness. Please don't leave... For you, for me, for all of us. We genuinely need you and so do others. I know you don't believe this... But please try. For us if not for you.

@Daisy102 Thank you so much.... I don't know what to say... I haven't felt great about myself. I don't know if my false memories are real or not, specially the most possible ones. But you comment made my day. Thank you so much

@myocdstory I think you are fantastic @myocdstory Always super positive whenever you post about someone else’s worries. You are special, worthwhile, and have a lot to offer.

@TheBigCahuna Omg... Thank you... That made my night.. ;-;

@myocdstory :)