Is anyone else here a therapist or social worker who struggles with ocd?

Im struggling with a bad obsession about being a social worker. Can i share?

@amm0792 Sure!

@catattak So basically I’m obsessing and worried that I am unethical and have acted unethically and should not be a social worker or get my license which my test is upcoming in October because there have been situations especially since working from home that obviously im on the phone w clients and doing telehealth and so my family has heard me say clients names and stuff and if i have a stressful day i will vent about my clients and have mentioned kids names and stuff and so my ocd is telling me im a bad person, im guilty, I shouldn’t be here and this compulsive mental urge to confess this. Like obviously I haven’t let anyone see my clients charts or anything but i’ve definitely used clients first names, ive vented to my family after a long day about my cases, listened to voice messages that parents/ guardians have sent or been on a phone call w a parent when im in the kitchen for example making dinner w family members around. Before my brother moved out i was limited for space at home since we all were working remotely, so i did work downstairs on the couch as it was the best option with regards to space and for telehealth we have to confirm our clients name and date of birth and so obviously if my parents were in other room working they may have heard. This is causing so much distress, i’m a bad person.

@am092 So I shouldnt be providing reassurance, but I understand your concern. Not sure how long you have been doing this work. When I lived at home with my parents, my mum was a child care worker and I was in social work. I can tell you that we vented to one another fully understanding the confidentiality. Sometimes we would say "child a, child b" or fake-name the kids but sometimes we didnt. I knew she didnt know my kids or famillies and I didnt know hers. It happens. We would be lying to ourselves if we said that it never happens. It happens and that's all there is too it. It helps me to realize that my therapist likely goes home to her husband and says "whoa, today my client was really difficult" and divulges. Are you familiar with reflexive praxis or reflexive practice? The idea that as professionals, we should not only reflect on our practice, but be reflexive? We need to reflect AND reflex (try to grow and change with the new information we reflect on). If you are doing that, that's what's important. So with your reflection of feeling like your confidentiality could be tightened up, are there steps you can take to tighten it up? Find a quiet space to take parent calls, fake name your clients if you are venting. I would also suggest speaking with your org about confidentiality while working from home. They should have policies and procedures that can guide you. Not sure if I've rambled on. Sorry if so.

@catattak it just was kind of like second nature, I didn’t at the time think twice about it. I mean currently with the coronavirus pandemic we are facing I’m working from home so it’s just like being in my natural environment you know sometimes I can’t help it. now have an office I can work in which was my brother’s room before he moved but like before I was working downstairs and like I obviously can’t tell my family members that they can’t be in the kitchen and like so when I sit there confirming client name and date of birth or talking with a client and like referencing their name like sure my family might be in the room next to me or yeah like I’ve vented about some frustrating cases i have and played voice messages if I’m rushing back to back between sessions like if a grandparent is voice messaging me I’ll play it while I’m scarfing food down you know with the small time that I have and like yeah I’ve had family around of course I don’t sit there and like give like person’s full name, address, Social Security number lol nothing like that but I’ve definitely referenced clients names

@am092 Try to remember you are doing the best you can given these situations we are living in. Having been in the industry, you are ot a bad person. Just make sure you are following guidelines.

@catattak I really like this idea!

@am092 Ever heard of hyper-responsibilty OCD? Before you do any reassurance confessing, read up on that some and discuss it with an OCD therapist if not already doing so. https://www.madeofmillions.com/ocd/responsibility-ocd

@catattak But i am bad, i broke confidentiality i was unethical

@am092 That's all relative I think. Do you also think I'm bad because I have done it before? And what if I didnt have ill intent? Bad or unethical is not black and white. But I know ocd makes it seem that way. Nothing in life is black and white or good or bad. I cant provide reassurance, but what I also want to say is that bad people dont have guilt over doing something bad. They are proud if the bad things they've done and intend to do them again. Like I said, we have to use reflexive practice. We have to reflect, and then work towards being better. If you were perfect as you stood, you'd already be running the joint and have nowhere to grow. You're not perfect. Sorry to say. But learning and growing feels good and you will learn and grow from this.