i’m going to be honest, completely and truly. if you’re in anyway transphobic, racist, sexist, against the lgbt in anyway! you’re a terrible person. especially with this new terrible intrusive thought i’ve been trying to cope with i will never understand how someone can just be intolerant and disgusting and a shit person!! all people are people, regardless of gender or sexuality or the color of their skin!! we all bleed! we all have a heart and we all have emotions! how can you fear becoming something terrible if you already are if you’re any of the things i mentioned! i understand the fear you might feel of losing yourself for fear of being gay or anything similar but remember to be kind and respectful with your words.

exactly!! especially when we live in a world that can be so cold. we need to help and use our voices for the better

Yikes? I’m sorry that happened to you

hi again. that’s disgusting ): i’m sorry you had to deal with that. you and your emotions are valid!!

@getwellsoon hi again getwellsoon !! thank you to the both of you, I’m okay now but it can get upsetting sometimes hearing it online / from close family :-/

i’m wishing you hope with your obsessions and all the very best ): i know it definitely doesn’t feel easy but i know it will have to get better! thank you for being understanding

@getwellsoon Totally! I feel for the community because I feel sometimes HOCD can come off like being gay is a death sentence. It’s not, and I hope that the LGBTQ+ members of this community feel respected

exactly. we need to be supportive and caring of one another

sending you much love right back! and strength! you’re valid and so are people dealing with the obsession of hocd but i agree it should never be a reason to be homophobic. ever

same ? or i feel like they might get angry at me for being “ too sensitive “ or something

@soup exactly it’s sad

@saltedcrabs I get really discouraged when it’s two people saying ignorant things, I feel like they’ll both gang up on me and I’ll end up getting reported or something

@soup oh no I’m so sorry you felt that way D: I get why you would be upset, I feel like when straight people think about lesbian their mind immediately go to butches or someone leaning towards that even though lesbians can literally dress in anyway

@saltedcrabs think about lesbians *

@soup yeah same D: I think I actually just saw the comments you were talking about and i said something about it, hopefully they’ll be polite about it

@soup smksks ay tysm!! dw about it, anytime :-D

Opinion: the fear and anxiety that comes with hocd isn’t an excuse for when a person says homophobic or transphobic things. For example, referring to thoughts about the same sex as “disgusting,” “abnormal,” or other terms that have historically been used against us.

@Nikki1809 I realise the place you’re coming from, but you still didn’t understand the issue. Thing is for someone straight having same sex OCD thought it feels disgusting and troubeling to digest. If I know OCD as much as I think I do, even someone who is gay having HOCD thoughts finds it disgusting to be with the opposite sex, even if someone might say it’s normal. The problem is that these thoughts and feeling are not their true self and so everyone might find them disgusting and not normal. I can give you an example, I am straight and I was doubting it and in a session with my therapist he was describing a scene where I was giving or recieving oral sex, and as I was hearing it I think my face showed that I was not liking the idea, so he interrupted me and said: I know you feel disgusted know, you see why this is OCD?! I mean I don’t care if someone is gay, or bi or trans, as long as I don’t think I am, coz it makes me feel uncomfortable and I couldn’t live with that, coz that’s not what I really feel. Peace and love!

@Klau The problem with language like “disgusting” and “abnormal,” is that it’s historically been used as oppressive language against us. Same sex love has been painted as disgusting and deviant by many many people, even labeling it a mental illness so that we could be treated with things like conversion therapy, which results in high rates of suicide. The reality my love for my girlfriend is just as normal and beautiful as straight love. Besides that’s not the only type of homophobia and transphobia here. I’ve seen on here. I’ve seen: —misgendering trans folks —relying on stereotypes about the lgbt community —“I couldn’t stand it if my child was gay.” —implying it’s better to be dead than to be gay —popping in under posts I make asking me unwanted questions about my sexuality for reassurance. — using slurs —implying you can’t live happily ever after if your gay. —calling it a sin to be gay. —ect. Now I’m not saying every post about hocd is bad. But this is a problem within this community. And it hurts me, and many other people who identify as lgbtq+. And we should be allowed to discuss the pain that it causes.

@Nikki1809 Thank you for sharing this. I would never want anyone to feel uncomfortable on an app meant to help us all and I see now I am guilty of some of these hurtful actions, I.e. asking someone who is LGBTQ+ for reassurance that I’m not. I’m so sorry about all of this. Not knowing or having good intentions doesn’t undo what I’ve done, but I hope to do better in the future. Thank you for your patience, I know this community has spent far too long dealing with this bullshit and I really don’t want that to continue here

@soup To be honest I rarely post in here and I never ask for reassurance or anything like that from someone of the LGBTQ+ community to ask personal questions, I have never said it’s ubnormal to be gay etc, so I am not taking this personally. I was inly trying to make you guys realise that maybe the people who make these comments are suffering from an illness that makes them doubt themselves, so their comments come out from fear and they are not meant to hard anyone. I am straight , even though it’s been one year I am doubting it because of this illness, so please don’t say that people from HOCD who are straight don’t suffer, coz it’s suffocauting to feel anxiety over your own thoughts or feelings. And also please keep in mind that HOCD is common even among gay/lesbians/bisexuals and I don’t think they don’t feel disgusted when they fear being staright. In fact it might come with the slightest anxiety probably, because at least you have had dhe courage to come out and probably you would think that even being straight might be accepted easily from the society even if you find out you were( I doubt that you would find that out sinceit’s justOCD, but just to give an example). Imagine living all your life straight and then in the middle of nowhere you doubt you might be gay, you are anxious, you don’t trust yourself and you never had to think of how to accept yourself and come out. And also just to give a personal example I have read in some comments( not here) from people of theLGBTQ+ community that the love you guys experience is better and that being straight is horrible and nonsense. Imagine reading that when you are straight and have HOCD... so I think the best everyone could do for themselves is to read smth and not take it personally, but put yourself in someone elses shoes. At least I try to do that.

@Klau Part of being an ally is listening to the community your trying to be an ally to. You are not doing that right now. I know EXACTLY what it’s like to question your sexuality out of no where. That happened to me five years ago. It was scary and confusing. Difference is I actually am lgbt+. I know that hocd comes from a place of fear. No one is saying people with Hocd don’t suffer, just that they’ll never experience homophobia, because they’re straight. Also, I’m asexual biromantic but you don’t see me going around saying being sexual is disgusting and abnormal. Because I recognize that would be hurtful to a lot of people. It’s not for me, but I don’t see it as disgusting. None of what you said makes homophobic comments ok.

@wellwellwell @wellwellwell thank you for recognizing this and taking steps to change. :)

@Klau Maybe she/he/they does understand “the issue”. It sounds like you don’t really get it. There’s a big difference between feeling afraid or that one is disgusted with her/him/theirself or feels abnormal and scared to how they have previously thought of her/him/theirself and using those derogatory terms about homosexuality or lgbtq issues in general. Figuring out one’s sexuality can be difficult or at least confusing for anyone, gay, straight, ocd, no-ocd. And on this app, we understand the extra pain OCD adds to any theme. We all just have to make this a safe place for everyone. We’re all here to support each other. We can share our fears and be open, but that’s no excuse to also just marginalize or insult others.