Anyone else have a triggering workplace? I work in a criminal defense law firm and I have to read horrible police reports and stuff all day long it’s very emotionally bd raining and triggering. I worry when I read the sexually explicit ones that I am enjoying it somehow. I worry when I read the ones about people snapping and killing their family members or loved ones or abusing their children that it’ll happen to me. The human mind is so complex and I’m reminded of that everyday at work. I feel like I’m always one small step away from ending up in jail, or hurting someone I love.

My coworkers just busted out a loud and open discussion of Jeffery Dahmer. Talking about how he murdered, tortured, and ate people. And how he had some sort of mental health condition. I literally cannot take it anymore. I just came in the bathroom and started to cry. Im so scared of being like him. I can’t even enjoy anything anymore. Usually work is my safe space because I’m surrounded by lots of people, but now they keep bringing this topic up as a discussion. I’ve felt relatively good all day and then this happened. Like I’m so scared i don’t even know who i am anymore. What if i have the same condition that he did? What if i end up like him? What if I’m the next him? I think I’m crying because I’m scared but what if I’m making myself fake cry because i am a bad person. I keep saying that I’m scared but what if I’m not. I keep saying i would never want to be like him but with if i do want it. I cannot escape this maze that I’m in. I finally felt okay this morning and now i don’t know what to feel. I feel like I’m in distress but am i really? Please help. Does anyone else feel like this? Why did this happen to me? I was so happy literally 8 weeks ago. How does this just happen

Is anyone else triggered by stories of people who have a mental break? My biggest fear 😭. I know we should expose our fears and sit with uncertainty. I struggled to expose and move forward.. I'll read the same tragic story over and over...obsessively worrying it'll happen to me.

Feeling sick to my stomach. Over a year ago I got highly invested in a true crime case. I believe her name was Linsey Clancy? I can’t even look it up because I will spiral. I was over consuming true crime for over two years before that on a consistent basis. I thought I could handle it but once I read this case I think it ruined my life. I couldn’t begin to fathom how a people called her a loving mother but she did what she did to her kids. I couldn’t fathom how people said she was so normal and had kind words for her but she still did that to her kids. Did she just snap? Is that something our bodies can do? Can we be great moms one day and then our bodies take over and we snap and we hurt our kids? Can my body do that? I have a little girl who I can’t even conjure up the right words to express how much she is my world and how I have limitless love for her. She’ll be 4. I don’t even get Loud with her and have not once even spanked her. The thought of anything remotely close to that makes my whole system feel like it’s going to shut down. So much to the point that I have a fear of disciplining her like a mother needs to do. I’ll think is this what happened when Lindsay Clancy you know what her kids? Who would have imagined those kids would be in danger with their own mother? That could never be me…right? I haven’t looked up a thing about it since I had the worst panic attack of my life in March last year. I accidentally scrolled past something on YouTube that was about it. I just read the title. Now I’m in tears begging god that I’ll never be a danger to my own daughter. Im exhausted. I know that will never be who I am to my very core. But Is that what Lindsey Clancy thought too? The mental torture is exhausting 😭😭