I’m having an extreme anxiety attack help. I was on the iPad which is connected to my moms phone and I went on to my Spotify (web player) I wanted to listen to the moana sound track so I looked it up and accidentally pressed the result under it which was a podcast titled something like “daddy’s baby girl moaning” or some shit and now that is BOOKMARKED ON MY MOMS PHONE. And she has it blocked so you can’t delete history and it pops up as a tab anytime you look anything up and I’m so worried she’s going to see it and think I’m weird or something like how am I supposed to explain that story and I’m doing compulsions and she’s going to hate me I’m so scared. And then I looked up aton of stuff to make it go farther down in the history but of course it’s still there and still pops up when you look up certain stuff and Now it looks more suspicious even tho I didn’t even mean to look it up in the first place what do I do.

Should I tell her before she notices?

Should I send her this? Hey mom I didn’t get much sleep last night I had an anxiety attack and was up till 4. It’s a weird story but basically I was trying to look up the moana soundtrack on spotify web player (the spotify app wasn’t working)last night cause I couldn’t sleep and wanted to listen to it and I accidentally clicked on the thing below the moana album which was this weird podcast called “girl moaning” or something?? And then it popped up in the history tabs and so I got all worried and thought you might see it and think Josh or something was listening to weird stuff so I was just stressed the whole night and it sounds kind of dumb and not that important now but last night it seemed like a really big deal so I just couldn’t sleep and I think I will take a nap today.

Thank you!

Do you think I should just tell her before she notices? Otherwise I might just keep stressing about it

@sophie02 You can say something like these people post weird shit on Spotify I was searching for moana and...etc. And laugh about it.

@Magg_7 Okay I formulated a text in notes lol should I send this Hey mom I didn’t get much sleep last night I had an anxiety attack and was up till 4. It’s a weird story but basically I was trying to look up the moana soundtrack on spotify web player (the spotify app wasn’t working)last night cause I couldn’t sleep and wanted to listen to it and I accidentally clicked on the thing below the moana album which was this weird podcast called “girl moaning” or something?? And then it popped up in the history tabs and so I got all worried and thought you might see it and think Josh or something was listening to weird stuff so I was just stressed the whole night and it sounds kind of dumb and not that important now but last night it seemed like a really big deal so I just couldn’t sleep and I think I will take a nap today.

@sophie02 This sounds good too go ahead. ??

@Magg_7 I also made another one which one is better I’m sorry I’m stressing By the way mom last night I couldn’t sleep so I looked up the moana soundtrack on Spotify web player (the app wasn’t working)because disney music helps me calm down when I’m scared and when I searched it I accidentally clicked on the thing right under the album which was this weird podcast called “girl moaning” or something?? Anyways it was in the tabs history so I sort of freaked out cause I kept thinking you would see it and think josh was listening to it or something when really it was all an accident. Sometimes my ocd makes things out to be bigger issues than they are. Anyways I had a panic attack and couldn’t sleep till 4 cause I just kept thinking I wouldn’t be able to explain to you but I’m doing it now.?

@sophie02 @Magg_7 which one sounds better?

@sophie02 The second one is better

@Magg_7 Thanks

@Magg_7 Thank you so so much!

@Magg_7 I’m so nervous to send it AGH

@sophie02 This is a form of reassurance seeking, asking if the messages are "ok" and reaching out to your mom if it is done for the purpose of getting reassurance from her. This. Will. Continue the ocd cycle. Please take caution and please try to resist reassurance seeking and compulsions when you expose or are exposed to your fear. If you want to get better, it is the only way, even though it feels terrible. It will bring long term recovery!