I go back and forth every day convinced I am gay or convinced I am straight. I wonder if I’ll ever be happy in my relationship and I wonder if sex will ever be good since I’ve had HOCD since I’ve been sexually active. This is all a mess and I’m hitting low points more and more often.

Nope, happened before when I was younger and then made sex hard when I decided to have it

@wellwellwell I have had kind of the same issue. I had yhe thoughts when I was 13, lasted for some time, but I didn’t think much of it. Then after my relationships and sex, because it has never been good and I haven’t orgasmed, I started thinking I might be a lesbian for sure. And that’s when HOCD came strong. I don’t know why I make such a bug deal of sex.

@Klau I’m worried about that too

@wellwellwell The fact that we are teo different people with the same kind of worry, and that lead bad sex to being a lesbian, it’s a proof that it’s so irrational just like OCD is. My OCD links also the fact that I find erotic female pictures arousing and I have had bad sex with man, so it must be proof. But the thing is my straight female friends find then arousing too, even lesbian porn, but they don’t feel gay. Coz they don’t have OCD. I still feel I want to be with man though. How old are you?

@Klau i cant orgasm either when i have sex with my bf!

@holley I know. But that happens to a lot of women. Why is it that makes it so special to you? ( or me in this case)

@Klau i am not sure, i worry because i came to the thought of a lesbian scene i memorized does this happen to you???????

@holley No it doesn’t coz I have not been much into lesbian porn. But my friends are, and they’re fine. What happens to me is that I get a groinal respone( or arousal whatever) when I look at sexy pictures of women, like boobs and butts explicit photos. So pretty much both seem awkaward, but then again, why are you with a man than?!

@Klau what do you mean why am i with a man!!??

@holley I mean if you really were what your thoughts tell you, you wouldn’t wish to be with a man! It’s just OCD making you freak out!

@Klau OHHHHHH I GOT SCARED IDKDKKFKDOD

@holley Why would you be scared of smth I said? Do you believe my personal history defines your life? You shouldn’t. Even if I tell you, you are probably a lesbian, you should know you are not and it’s just your mind playing games. Please try to be more mindfull. I guess you are still young, but try to beat your OCD as much as you can.

@Klau it just doesn’t feel like ocd!!! i cant easily fantasize and see my face with another girl in my head easily it’s not natural to me at all but yet why does it feel that way?????

@holley Do you find it difficult to fantasise? Me too. I can’t masturbate fantasizing about anything, just porn. So I guess is an issue that concerns many people. I don’t think they all think they’re gay/lesbian.

@Klau same!! oh god, i thought i was the only one.

@holley Please just don’t ask for reassurance. None of us is alone in this, even if we think so. You have a boyfriend so you should be happy about that. Why don’tnext time you have sex, try to feel realxed and as good as you can and even if you have an image just let it be.