hi so I’m getting a job and I’ve never had a job and I want to be soooo excited but I’m worried I’m going to jail for something I did a year ago and I can’t be happy for anything because I’m obsessing over it. I think I blackmailed and posted pics of someone on the internet without consent. I was involved in findom where men like to be humiliated and blackmailed but I’m worried I went too far and actually blackmailed/post embarrassing things of someone who didn’t want it and I will be reported. This was 4 months ago I haven’t done it since.

maybe maybe not to going to jail??? because I’m positive I blackmailed someone

@lilywhitelilith can I say yes I blackmailed them instead

@lilywhitelilith but I did

@lilywhitelilith I’m so sorry I’m really sorry my mind is really scaring me rn I don’t know what to do at all I’m freaking out because I blackmailed someone

@tella4 but I don’t have access to a therapist

@tella4 yes I am considering it it’ll only be a minimum wage job though

@tella4 I want to say like “okay if I did it that’s ok I can’t go back and I will deal with it when it comes” but that’s so hard to live my life eveeyday w rhat

@tella4 because like I might go to jail one day and all I’ve worked for college, class, my reputation is done

@tella4 the thing is I am one that would never seen doing something like this I haven’t even kissed anyone ever so this would come as a big shock to everyone

@tella4 And jail if I went to jail I possibly wouldn’t get a job again and would do hard jail time for this

@sunnydays1013 Do you have a family doctor?

@tella4 This was good because I truly think I blackmailed someone like I do not think I’m making it up in my case

@tella4 Ik I posted photos without consent but dunno if they would be hurt by it or not because it was a classic thing to do in the findom world

@tella4 okay but what about the jail thing again what do I do w that

@sunnydays1013 "Maybe I will, maybe I won't go to jail some day but, in the meantime, I am going to live my life in ways that bring me personal fulfillment and enjoyment."

@Fear Strikes Out What if I know I blackmailed someone though

@Fear Strikes Out And I’m positive they gave me money for it and they didn’t wanna be blackmailed

@tella4 this isn’t what if I know I did that

@sunnydays1013 Try being more self-compassionate and forgiving of yourself. What would you advise a friend in the same situation?

@tella4 I don’t like hearing people say false memories because I believe I did it

@Fear Strikes Out I would say it was in the past blah blah be happy until something happens but it’s hard to actually be in the position of being worried of jail because ik I blackmailed

@sunnydays1013 And, you know the other person paid you money? How much? How did they give the money to you? What was the embarrassing information that you used for blackmail?

@Fear Strikes Out around like 100 I believe, through cashapp or venmo, either an embarrassing photo/video they sent or like an embarrassing photo of their penis their would send me

@sunnydays1013 That's a misdemeanor at worst...no jail time and a slap on the wrist by the judge (i.e., "don't do that again young lady"). Of course, a "normal person" knows that the alleged victim would very likely would not file a police report because of embarrassment. Now, try to get some sleep Your mind needs a rest.

@Fear Strikes Out Bonsoir!!

@Fear Strikes Out it definitely wouldn’t of been much at all but still very scary

@Fear Strikes Out I want to hug you though thank you have a good night I hope it would just be a misdemeanor and I wouldn’t of asked for more but I’m also worried I legit did post pics that people may have not wanted out there

@Fear Strikes Out but it was alllll in the findom community

@sunnydays1013 Get some sleep! ?

@Fear Strikes Out Okay thank you I’ll try I’m so worried because I posted on legal advice and I’m so worried someone is gonna report me but thank you and u have a good night as well

so I just sit w the maybe I’ll go to jail

@sunnydays1013 Yes

@sunnydays1013 "maybe you will, maybe you won't" would be better because there is no way of knowing.

@Fear Strikes Out but everyone says like if it happened which I’m almost positive it happened!!! I KNOWW I exposed people who didn’t want it because that’s what happened in findom idk if they wanted me to or not but I did it w the blackmail I’m almost positive of that too

@lilywhitelilith no what I was trying to say is ik I exposed people who sometimes sent random embarrassing images idk if they wanted it or not is what I was trying to say but ik i posted without asking sometimes

@lilywhitelilith I love the piano. Wish I could play it myself.

@sunnydays1013 Interesting (not really, it's OCD) that this happened in 2019 and all of a sudden the guilt sets in...

@Fear Strikes Out okay well really started JULY-JANUARY 2019-2020 then I started it again April 28-may8 but I knew I didn’t blackmail anyone then so

@lilywhitelilith ik I didn’t april-may but I’m pretty sure I did probably in 2019

@sunnydays1013 When is your next scheduled appointment with your OCD therapist?

@Fear Strikes Out I had one today but she’s not specialized in it and didn’t know how to help me I can’t get money for anREAL ocd person

@lilywhitelilith I have it with my parents but they don’t approve of therapy at all

@sunnydays1013 Are you taking any meds for anxiety?

@Fear Strikes Out no I’m not allowed to I’m freaking out so bad about jail rn oh my god

@lilywhitelilith I agree. The parents' bill will be much higher if sunnydays1013 does not come off of the OCD ledge soon and has a hospital stay. Definitely recommend an OCD therapist that knows ERP.

@Fear Strikes Out I’m gonna try to get one on here somehow :/

@Fear Strikes Out How do I do ERP???

@sunnydays1013 Yay!! That's great news!!

@sunnydays1013 I recommend getting the book, Freedom from OCD, by Jonathan Grayson. The book is packed with a lot of good information about OCD treatment using ERP. There is also a lot of good information on the IOCDF.org website.

@sunnydays1013 Make that your number 1 priority tomorrow to call NOCD for the free consultation. You are really in need of a competent OCD therapist.

@lilywhitelilith but that would involve me being okay with jail gime

@Fear Strikes Out I don’t have money tho for a regular session yet though

@lilywhitelilith I can’t tell if this is OCD or what a normal person would do

@lilywhitelilith the uncertainty of I might go to jail I might not but my thing is how would someone say I might not go to jail if they’ve committed a crime

@tella4 yea I might need to do that but also like agh what if someone went with the blackmail and sent me money like that’s more proof that i blackmailed someone non consensually

@tella4 I want to cry I feel terrible I cannot do anything it’s been 4 months since I stopped I just am going through life w the I’m going to jail and now I feel even worse because I put my thing into reddit legal advice and I’m worried someones gonna report me on there

@lilywhitelilith but what about the other things not Reddit but all of the other stuff how do I sit with this when I could be reported or something or idk how do people do this when they’ve legit committed a crime

@lilywhitelilith but I have I blackmailed someone !!! and posted photos without them wanting me to !

@tella4 thank you ???

@lilywhitelilith but I really think I did :/// I’m not trying to be false w u