"...the more we value things outside our control, the less control we have." - Epictetus

You're welcome ☺.

Hmm...How dare you make me think ☺. Let's say you are obsessed with people's opinion of you. Would you feel like you have control over your Life?

@Ben84 Yess

@Coul.C Also sorry were you being sarcastic and saying I wasn’t trying to think ??

@Coul.C You would feel like you have control? What if they don't like you?

@Coul.C No, I was just giving you a hard time about making me explain myself ?.

@Ben84 Hmmm i would work to make them like me?

@Coul.C Especially when you were younger, did you ever pretend to like/know about something so that someone would like you?

@Ben84 That seems very likely yes

@Coul.C Did you feel in control or did it feel like somebody else was in control?

Yes, you still have a choice and are in "control". However, oftentimes we do things in life that we'd rather not do. Like compulsions for OCD. We choose to do the compulsions, but we wish we didn't feel like we "had" to.

@Ben84 I seee it’s just tricky cause with ocd it makes you believe you have the control. I guess the same could be applied here. So value the things we do have actual control over?

@Coul.C Yup ☺?!

You ask a tough question ☺. I guess what jumps out at me are the words "magical" and "it feels". This doesn't sound like real control.

@Ben84 Hmm feelings can be really real though. It’s a question that many people have had trouble answering for me in regards to magical thinking ?

@Coul.C Something that my therapist told me to help distinguish OCD from reality, is, would someone without OCD think this? So if youre like, I can completely control whether or not I do this errand today / that person dies / I die / etc . You can then ask yourself- would someone without OCD believe they could completely control that? Would they believe that they can control it by doing what you do? As in, are your actions something someone without OCD might do? If yes, cool. If no, something to think about. If its hard to say what someone without OCD would do, make your best guess. Just keep trying. I know it's hard. I hope this helps. If it doesn't feel free to ignore it. But good luck. We all have to face the fears, you know? That's the only way to get out, even though we all hate, hate, hate the fears. Sending hugs and I hope for the best for you💛

@Daisy102 Awee thank you. I have dabbled with thinking this way as well. The thing that got me stuck was is this ocd? What’s not normal for someone else doesn’t mean it isn’t for me? You’re right about facing your fears though i want to think about things this way but i still feel like im in denial even though ive been diagnosed about 3 times now 😂 i believe. Hmm I just sometimes think im differentand other people just don’t get it. Now older sub thpes are popping up as well and that scares me. I think i got triggered off this app tbh. And im scared they’ll be worse than before so im really gonna have to try and be brave and face my fears now. Thanks for theadivr though i migh take it into account and give it another try.

Examples of things we can't control?

@Ben84 Yeah. That would also be loveable hahah.

@catattak Aside from protective measures, we can't control the pandemic. We can influence it I suppose, but not directly control it.

@Ben84 Haha but the pandemic isnt lovable. I was thinking like....rain. I'm not a fan of the rain and weather isnt controllable but rain can be transformative for our gardens so I can try to love it. Or am I on the wrong path

@catattak I think I see how you interpreted this quote now. The way I interpret it is valuing something outside our control is a negative thing. It might make more sense if you replace "value" with "obsess over". See if that changes your interpretation.

@Ben84 Ahhhhhhh I get it

@catattak ☺?!