Has anyone who’ve experienced taboo based OCD have had triggering thoughts that were like “oh yeah you liked that” and than had an immense amount of anxiety come about? This happened to me a while back and I ended up in the hospital due to the panic and anxiety it produced. It led to constantly avoiding and checking to make sure I was okay. Of course it just blurred the lines more. Most days I am good but I just got diagnosed and all my old obsessions are coming up that I feel like I never properly dealt with. Almost like it wants me to question my diagnosis.

Also - if this is reassurance, please try to reply without reassuring. I’d rather sit with the discomfort short term for long term benefits

Omg YESSSS thank you for sharing I’m currently experiencing this right now. I’m so glad you posted this. I feel like I’m close to ending up in the hospital I’m driving myself absolutely mad with guilt over this silly scenario. But it feels so real and scary. It’s something most people would just brush off but i can’t shake it. It’s infiltrating every aspect of my life and I’m so scared. It has latched on to my most loved person in my life and I don’t know what to do. I have my first NOCD session in a month from now and another mental health evaluation scheduled for Tuesday. I just can’t stop ruminating and replaying the event and dissecting it. It’s going on a week now. I can’t eat or focus or anything it’s terrible. Would you mind sharing your experience in detail or is that too triggering for you?

No it’s fine, point is to deal with the triggers right! Well mine started 8 years ago. I was getting in a whole brain lock on whether my drug test would pass because I used Pre workout. I thought methaphetamines would be picked up on the test because it had dimethyl in the product. So I asked people, bought a drug test and asked a pharmacist. Well I got the job lol so definitely an inability to sit with uncertainty. After that I began confessing all my wrongs to my now wife. Than I got a POCD thought and from there life went to hell. From there I had confusion in my own being, sexuality, false memories. I avoided places, gained weight and couldn’t really feel like myself anymore. I had about 4 major episodes over the last 8 years. Before this my life was pretty smooth when looking back. One of those thoughts came back in recently and it was a thought I had one time and in my head I like “yeah you must have liked that” and than boom I was in hospital from the anxiety, insomnia and panic. So I began checking and making sure I was safe mentally and from there all other thoughts came in. So it was chaotic. My last episode was a false memory where I felt like I hurt my son. And from there I had to figure out what was happening and I fell upon OCD and began reading on it for the last year or so. I was just diagnosed but still dealing with the what if “I really am” idea. And that thought just came to mind.

Not sure if my story helps but at times the uncertainty or confusion is painful! I try to practice just feeling it without trying to make myself feel safe.