- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
The ruminating and constant need for reassurance is frustrating. For me letting go of control is very hard. I think it’s something I have to work at everyday “rather than ask if you can ever be free, because ever is a huge amount of future time, ask if you can be free at this moment. The only place where you can or need to be free is this moment not the rest of your life. Just now.” When I catch myself ruminating I try to do something like clean, chat with a friend etc
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you for sharing! OCD steals precious time from my life. It always makes me question things. It keeps me in a state of anxiety and fear and doesn't allow me to move forward.
- Date posted
- 5y
I do try to ask myself - even if this thought is true is there any action I need to take right now? Most of the time the answer is no. Key thing being action is NOT the same as compulsion. For example, I have a bug bite - my intrusive thought is that it's a brown recluse. Even if it is - is there any action I can take at this moment when it's a tiny bug bite? It isn't at the point where going to the doctor makes sense. So I try to give myself permission to let it go and just see what happens, I can't do anything to change it right now.
- Date posted
- 5y
I really like that, thank you for sharing! Letting it go and seeing what happens is a great idea.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ania85 Yay! Hope it helps. Sometimes I'll even set a threshold. Like if in X # of days it isn't better I'll make an appointment or something like that and then it's easier to let it go until I get to that point and 99% of the time by then whatever it is is gone. :)
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ania85 I read a book once that said there is no problem if there's no action to be taken and I try to use that as a mantra.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Cher1943 Great idea all around! I hope you're doing well!!
- Date posted
- 5y
@Ania85 Thanks! You too. I'm loving this app it is making me feel more connected and helps me stay on track.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Cher1943 What exactly does that mantra mean?
- Date posted
- 5y
@Coul.C Basically, I interpret it as that if there's no decision to make at this moment - then there's no true problem. Problems require a solution. So for example if I have a thought of "my stomach feels funny" and that becomes "what if I have a horrible disease" I ask myself even if I do do I have enough information right now to do something about it. And if I don't, then it isn't a problem right now, in this moment. I think it's just another way to kind of ground myself in the moment.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Cher1943 It's the Eckhert Tolle book The Power of Now. I'll paste the passage.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Coul.C This is from The Power of Now by Eckhert Tolle. If you found yourself in paradise, it wouldn’t be long before your mind would say “yes, but. . . .” Ultimately, this is not about solving your problems. It’s about realizing that there are no problems. Only situations — to be dealt with now, or to be left alone and accepted as part of the “isness” of the present moment until they change or can be dealt with. Problems are mind-made and need time to survive. They cannot survive in the actuality of the Now. Focus your attention on the Now and tell me what problem you have at this moment.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Cher1943 Also from the book: I am not getting any answer because it is impossible to have a problem when your attention is fully in the Now. A situation that needs to be either dealt with or accepted — yes. Why make it into a problem? Why make anything into a problem? Isn’t life challenging enough as it is? What do you need problems for? The mind unconsciously loves problems because they give you an identity of sorts. This is normal, and it is insane. “Problem” means that you are dwelling on a situation mentally without there being a true intention or possibility of taking action now and that you are unconsciously making it part of your sense of self. You become so overwhelmed by your life situation that you lose your sense of life, of Being. Or you are carrying in your mind the insane burden of a hundred things that you will or may have to do in the future instead of focusing your attention on the one thing that you can do now.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Rivlet86 I don’t mean to trigger anyone may i adk a question that makes this quote hard to apply to myself?
- Date posted
- 5y
@Coul.C I don't mind if you ask a question.
- Date posted
- 5y
It does.
- Date posted
- 5y
So with magical thinking ocd it’s as if there is always a “solution” with whatever compulsion so it makes it hard to not do.. basically you’re feeling like there’s always something you can do. Not sure if im explaining it correctly
- Date posted
- 5y
Hmm yeah I do see what you're saying. It may not work as well for that particular type of OCD. I don't know a lot about magical thinking. If you always think there's an immediate solution then it could get tricky
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah I think it's important to remember that what may work for one person, may not work for everyone! This is what works for @Rivlet86
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I have just recently realized that I had SO OCD. This began whenever I was watching porn and had an intrusive thought about the guy in the porn. It was more minor at first, it was a majority of what I was thinking about throughout the day but it didn’t feel as distressing at first. If I had downtime to think about it, it would affect me but if I was just going about my day I wouldn’t notice it. I began going through the compulsions of checking myself. This lasted for a while until another obsession occurred. Then it seemed as if my SO OCD took a step back. I would have flare ups but they would seem to pass. Recently, I had a very bad night of constant compulsions and looking at pictures and imagining things to check myself. After that night it was very distressing, it affected me to the point where people around me began to notice and ask me if I was okay. One of the big reasons I was so upset was my girlfriend, we have been together for over 3 years and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I was thinking “Oh my god, if I am gay I can never be with her.” I would sit and cry about it thinking I would lose her and that might life would change because I was gay. I finally had enough and talked to her and my parents. We did some research and I was so shocked to find out that I had a form of OCD, it was like a weight being lifted off my shoulders just knowing that other people have been where I am and that I’m not gay. However, I may have naively expected the compulsions and obsessive thoughts to go away now that I knew I had an actual problem. But I found that the compulsions and thoughts were still there and I was going to put some effort into getting better. I have researched and now know what to do when experiencing intrusive thoughts, yet I still have been performing the compulsions which is just feeding into the OCD. I find myself having intrusive thoughts and then start performing compulsions to see if they are true. What really bothers me is when I have an intrusive thought that tells me that I do like something. But when I think about it I have no desire to pursue those thoughts. However when I feed into the compulsions they just seem to feed into each other. It is like my OCD ignores all the things that I know I like and goes straight to panic mode. I am also trying to do ERP and am going to start doing my best to get better. Does anyone have any tips for not performing the compulsions no matter how anxious you are feeling and no matter how real the intrusive thoughts seem to feel?
- Date posted
- 25w
Hi! I’m new to the NOCD community, but I’ve been dealing with OCD since I was 12. I’m almost 29 now, and my biggest issue is health anxiety. It’s gotten to the point where getting work done is nearly impossible because i can’t stop spiraling. I’m lucky that i work remotely, but also makes it easier to be in my own head… Asking for advice - how do you all deal with the intense anxiety and are able to make it through a 9-5 work day? Any suggestions on how I can actually be productive? Thank you!
- Date posted
- 24w
Often times I find myself spiraling out in the morning about all sorts of things. When I try and catch myself and figure out what I am obsessing over it’s like it goes away. I haven’t moved. I have been sitting frozen on the floor because I can’t go to work because I am behind on work and I hate being late and I hate being messy but I am frequently late and my room is cluttered and full of stuff. I want to be good and move and go to work but I don’t know what is coming today and I hate my job so I know I will get bored and when I have nothing to keep me busy and engaged I like start thinking and taking an inventory of what is going on and then I will feel a sensation and what is the sensation? How did it happen? And I know that I will pick up the bad emotions in the office and get contaminated, I was really worried about things like this as a kid too I cried because I had to touch dirt in kindergarten. I know I am this way and I have been this way for a while but at the same time I think I might just be normal and like I don’t know why I get stuck in thinking like this. Then I begin to doubt that OCD is real because everyone has a brain with wiring and everyone gets stuck in thought sometimes. I feel disabled from whatever this is because I am stuck. I literally cannot move because I don’t know what’s wrong and I know I have to go to work even though I feel like every moment I spend there is making everything worse because other people are so stressed and I get it from them. And I don’t feel ready because I just feel off and something is wrong and I just don’t know what to do because if it’s OCD or not OCD everything anyone knows about me is coming from me and I worry that I am often masking all the thinking I’m doing because thinking all the time is rude and inconsiderate and inconvenient for those around me, but I can’t stop. I just don’t feel right, right now - and I want to know WHY?? Why is everything off all the time? How do I even know that I am not making up the experience of OCD in my head to cover up something really wrong with me and now I am taking on the symptoms of OCD like an actress, because this could be something that I can latch onto as a final hope for explaining why I am stuck. So stuck so deeply and terribly stuck sitting on my floor next to my bed just scrolling to avoid thinking because any time I start thinking I am left with no answers or help or anything just this swirly feeling. I know I am trying, maybe not my best, but as much as I possibly can. I want to be a Special Education Teacher but I have so much so so so much doubt and uncertainty about every decision I make and everything I know that I can’t get there right now. I can’t do anything right now until it feels ok and then I will. It never feels ok. I know I have to be ok not feeling ok about it. I can be unsure and still be ok. I know it’s just my thinking and my body but I just can’t get past this feeling. And then I know that because I can calm myself and be ok even though I spent 2 hours of my life today already feeling stuck and spinning around and around and around in my head - I don’t feel sure about my OCD and I think it’s a bit of a scam made up by people to cultivate pathology around deep human thought because one day I might figure it out and we all think a lot.
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