I find it interesting how well we can hide ocd despite how intense it feels. It feels like its burning up our entire world and yet... Last night I asked my husband if he has noticed that cipralex is making a difference in me (been on it nearly 4 weeks now). And he said a little yeah. Meanwhile I've felt it's made a huge difference. I'd say my ruminating is down by 50-60%. But he didnt always know when I was ruminating. I was also hiding a lot of my compulsions from him. I'd wait until he left the room to go on sanitization sprees etc. Because I didnt want him to stop me or shame me. I also started my job 3 years ago and it was a BIG jump up. Like massive, I was so lucky to receive the job I have. I was truly not qualified just in the right spot at the right time. I admitted to my boss maybe a year or so in that I'm a really anxious person. She was shocked. She was like "what? You're so calm and everything always goes off without a hitch!" Which was me feigning confidence in meetings then ig insane overtime to make sure everything in my projects were perfect and crying in my office. I never thought I was fooling anyone. I always thought it was obvious but I'd continue until someone called me out. And no one ever did. Because I was so secretive.

That's a really good point. I actually have a co-worker who was explaining to me that as a kid she had to go through therapy for her fears and be exposed to them. Shes also a very meticulous perso to the point sometimes its....like you know she expects perfection from herself -easilt stressed. After learning g about erp, I sort of think she may be ocd. But I would not have guessed it before.

I recently just joined this and I didnt expect to see so many people with their comments and stories. Little comforting knowing there are others struggling just like me!

@Melissar3 Really is for SURE💛💛💛

Ywah. Its hard. It helps me to 1. tell others I have hard days and say how I get through it, and 2. remember that everyone is a mess on the inside.... But yeah I still relatr and i don't take my own advice as much as I should!!

@Daisy102 I often think that noone can have as much as suffering as I do if they don't have OCD. I know it isn't true but when my OCD is intense I feel that way.

@Sunflower 1234 I get that. I have felt that way too. I'm sorry. *Sending a hug* ??

Thanks for relating. I take cipralex which is a Selective Seratoning Reuptake Inhibitor. Meaning it let's more serotonin circulate in my brain. Serotonin is the happy hormone. SSRI's are used for ocd. I think it's because if we dont have enough serotonin circulating, it's a lot easier to ruminate and stay on the worst case scenario. If we have more happy hormone, it kind of levels us off so we might think of the worst case but also realize that's not super likely or realize there are best case scenarios too. At least that's how it seems to be helping me. I used to doomsday plan constantly and now I can breathe and see how unlikely my crazy ideas are. These dont work for everyone but if serotonin is unbalanced then these can help.

@catattak I have mostly tried SSRI's. Now I'm on effexor, but still waiting for it to help ??

@Melissar3 Good luck love! I hope it does

@Daisy102 Thank you :)