Can I be turned on by women more than men in erotica(and like naked women, I.e. breasts) and still be attracted to men/be okay with my husband?? I cannot let this go. I know this teeters on reassurance but I just got out of surgery and I’m trying to get better but this is ruining me.

Hi everyone, I’ve been really anxious lately, and I just need to get this out of my head. Someone recently told me that maybe I’m bisexual — that I might be more sexually attracted to women, but more romantically attracted to men. That bisexuality is not 50/50. And ever since I heard that, I’ve been spiraling. The thing is: I don’t want this to be true. It scares me. I don’t feel romantic attraction to women, I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship with one. But yes, I get aroused by fantasies involving women — and that makes me feel broken or like I’ve been lying to myself. I love my boyfriend deeply, I don’t want to lose him. I want to feel fully connected to him, physically and emotionally. But now I’m stuck in this obsessive loop of questioning: “What if I’m just in denial?” “What if I’m not really straight?” “What if this is why my libido is low?” It’s exhausting, and I don’t know if this is OCD, anxiety, or if something is fundamentally wrong. Has anyone else felt this split — romantic feelings for one gender, sexual feelings for another? I feel so alone and scared. Thanks for listening.

Hey everyone, I’m reaching out because I’ve been going through one of the hardest mental spirals of my life, and I’m hoping someone can relate or shed light on what’s happening to me. About 4 months ago, I accidentally came across a trans porn scene. It didn’t do much at the time, but later it triggered this overwhelming intrusive thought: “What if I’m gay?” Since then, it’s been absolute hell. I’ve always been into women—emotionally, sexually, everything. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a girl I love deeply. But after that moment, my brain started spiraling into nonstop analysis. I began checking how I felt around men, whether I felt attraction, whether I was in denial, whether I was lying to myself. Literally everything became a test. I got stuck in this loop: • A thought pops in → panic • Try to solve it → brief relief • Another thought → worse panic • Repeat. At times, it got so bad I couldn’t feel anything at all—toward my girlfriend, toward women, toward myself. I started doubting everything. Some days, I feel emotionally flat, like I’ve lost my personality. Other days, I wake up with a full-body jolt of “truth” like “I’m definitely gay”—only for it to fade into numbness again. I’ve also noticed that I get short bursts of peace when I stop reacting, but then the fear comes back louder, like “See? Now you’re accepting it. That means it’s true.” Therapy hasn’t helped much so far—it felt more like general counseling. They told me to sit with the thoughts, but didn’t clarify if this was OCD, identity questioning, or trauma. That just made it worse because now I’m back to thinking “What if I’m just rejecting my truth?” I’m exhausted. I’ve lost connection to everything I used to love. • I want to love my girl again the way I used to • I want to feel desire without overthinking • I want to trust myself again I’m not looking for reassurance—I just want to know if anyone else has gone through something like this, and if this sounds like HOCD or identity OCD. Thanks for reading.

So I’ve been recovering from my obsession from my sexuality bc I am attracted to men 100% but when I was a child, a cousin I was really close to had me do things to her and ever since then my perspective on things have changed. After that experience I would sit in corners and watch girls kissing and when i got older and learned what pornography was, I would watch girls to learn how to pleasure myself and I would hide and watch women on women in the same room where I was sa’d in. When I became a teen I started learning about wattpad and teen stories and i got so into men and dating in the books and I ended up forgetting about all of those things that changed me. I never thought about any of the girl things till a old friend brought it up and said I should explore but it really makes me uncomfortable to do something like that because it doesn’t feel right and it makes me feel sick to my stomach to be with women or even talk to one that way bc I’ve never perceived women in that way. I’ve always fangirled over men and male celebrities and I have my favorite singers like Sabrina carpenter but I’ve never thought about her in that light nor have I done any other women. I even read this document called am I a lesbian and it’s very good and it helped me realize that I am straight and it definitely took a bit of weight off my shoulders but then I saw a video of a therapist saying how being sa’d doesn’t change your sexuality and so I looked up how did people know or what clues did they have to know if they were bi and a lot of people usually know from a young age as young as elementary and having crushes on women and men but i never thought about women in general even tho I watched porn on it. I simply did it because it was really all I knew and I guess it was familiar to me?? now my new obsession is what does this mean for me ? And how do I know if im attracted to a women? I’ve never had a crush on one before. I never even thought about any of this until my friend tried to convince me to explore and it all just sparked from there. Ever since that day I’ve been avoidant of women and giving them genuine compliments like I used to. Everything all of a sudden seems inappropriate or gay to do. I get anxious and my lower body part starts to ache (groin) and it keeps making me wonder if that is attraction or fear or am I uncomfortable? But when im around a man I clearly find attractive or a male celebrity I find hot, or if I have a crush/relationship with a guy, I start smiling and trying to act all pretty and squealing like a kid who just got the best Christmas gift and I know that I clearly want to bone him. And my biggest dream is to be a mother. I want to get married to a man who will be the love of my life and have a happy family and I just personally never seen myself doing that with a woman and i can’t even imagine myself doing so. I know that probably seems cliche and I know this probably is a lot but what does it mean ? Am I just in denial or is it something more ?