- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Dr. McGrath says: If you receive reassurance to alleviate the discomfort caused by the obsession, then you never learn that you can handle the obsession without getting the reassurance, and the OCD is maintained and even strengthened.
- Date posted
- 5y
OCD will have you “test” yourself to see if your “possibly” bisexual. Your running that storyline and ocd is the organ grinder playing the tune.
- Date posted
- 5y
I know. And I know someone else can’t possibly really know. But that one poster saying i might be terrifies me and even worse, I feel such intense guilt and hatred toward myself about my husband. Have I led him on? Am I awful? You know? Ocd can take anything and make it a nightmare. I have previously recovered from ROCD and HOCD, but it’s come back so badly this time that I feel like my old coping skills can’t help me and I fall back on the hell and agony that is constant reassurance
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- 5y
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- 5y
I mean this based on historical arousal that I’ve had before ocd, but I’ve never ever felt aroused by a woman in person or like checked one out. So I just don’t know if I’m even bisexual
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- 5y
@wellwellwell also thank you for your response
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- 5y
@soup Yeah, it’s just confusing you know, based on my preferences in sexual images/erotica
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- 5y
@wellwellwell Can I suggest an article for you to read that discusses HOCD and attraction? It’s a five part series found here: https://ocdla.com/sexual-orientation-hocd-gay-ocd-treatment-1969 This was really helpful for me.
- Date posted
- 5y
Focus on managing the ocd. Don’t focus on the contents of the ocd intrusive thoughts. You have experience dealing with other themes and this process is no different. OCD is like a chameleon that changes colors. 🦎🦎🦎
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- 5y
I love that analogy!
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- 5y
No..No..No... you keep asking this question. You are assurance seeking and asking “what if’s”. (ie. What if this is all insane denial).
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- 5y
I understand but I’m not even stew if this is ocd if people think I could be bi
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- 5y
Dr. Feusner says: You have to understand the ocd illness. It’s not so much about the content of your thoughts, even though it feels like it’s about the contents, the problem with ocd is the process. It’s the process of having obsessive thoughts or having a feeling that’s intrusive and doing some type of behavior to feel better.
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- 5y
You have ocd you cannot seek assurance from someone else who has a different viewpoint or preference and it as a basis for your ocd obsessions/compulsions.
- Date posted
- 5y
You’re not wrong. It’s all a mess honestly and I know deep down all this does is make me even qoraw
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- 5y
@wellwellwell **worse. Thanks for your kindness and paruencev
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- 5y
@wellwellwell Patience oh my god
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- 5y
I am so sorry you are going through this right now. I was in a similar place a few years ago. At that time, I was spending literally hours on google and Reddit every day looking for answers. Those are compulsions and will not give you any long term relief. One thing that helped me in the beginning was to take breaks from all the online forums and researching. I took that time to read some of my favorite books and walk my dog which helped give my mind a bit of a break, though it still felt like my brain/thoughts were so loud. I hope you are planning on talking to a therapist about this. I also hope you talk to your doctor about whether medication would help. I needed meds at the beginning because I could not function - I was not getting enough food or sleep to continue on much longer.
- Date posted
- 5y
I do see a therapist but I haven’t in a bit and I really should be more. I just feel so much pressure to know for sure to save my husband from pain
- Date posted
- 5y
@wellwellwell One thing that helped me in the beginning was to think more short term instead of long term. Each day I would assess - do I want to leave my husband today, even if I am a lesbian? No matter what my thoughts are telling me, this is my decision and I’m sticking to it. That’s the conversation I would have with myself.
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- 5y
@Anonymous That is very helpful, thank you
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- 5y
Ocd will run tests and template matches to try to prove or disprove the thoughts.
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- 5y
It’s definitely gotten to the point that I don’t even try to manage it, and I know that’s 100% on me
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- 5y
Sexuality isn’t so black and white. It’s more of a grey area. And that’s ok!
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- 5y
Yeah, I hope that I can embrace uncertainty AND be okay loving my husband
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- 5y
True but sexuality isn’t related to intrusive thoughts.
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- 5y
True. But it may help you feel a little less stressed to not have to label everything. You can be attracted to a female naked body and still be happy with your husband.
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- 5y
I mean just because you have an intrusive thought about your sexuality doesn’t make it so.
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- 5y
Yeah but her question was can she be turned on by women but still be okay with her husband.
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- 5y
Women are very visually appealing beings.
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- 5y
I think she is asking those questions because of the physical sensations of arousal while viewing erotica before she had ocd. She states that she is not physically aroused or attracted by other women.
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- 5y
I go back to my original statement: “sexuality isn’t related to intrusive thoughts”.
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- 5y
In ocd it’s called “avoidance” behaviors.
- Date posted
- 5y
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- 5y
Does this mean I have to be bi? I really don’t feel attracted to women outside of erotica, get crushes or anything. Being bi doesn’t feel right but what if this is all insane denial
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- 5y
@wellwellwell I literally know exactly how you feel to a tee
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- 5y
@Bliss Does this bother the shit out of you too
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- 5y
@wellwellwell heck to the yes!!! i feel the same way you do and Im not attracted to women any other way just like u! ive actually never ever shared this with anyone ever so this is great. when I see gay women on tv I get triggered and my ocd likes to tell me “ur bi ur bi ur bi” like it is a bad thing. I am an advocate for lgbtq so I completely love and support them!!! on the outside I see myself as straight. I wouldnt want to date a woman. It is so confusing !!!!
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- 5y
@Bliss Agreed. And this plus OCD is a fucking mess. Do you have a SO?
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- 5y
@wellwellwell HOCD can bring on false feelings you know that right?
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- 5y
@Joshua I do know that. But I’ve been historically more aroused by naked women than naked men in erotica
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- 5y
@wellwellwell So before hocd
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- 5y
@wellwellwell I do not have a sig. other
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- 5y
*use
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- 5y
I don’t see her mention anything about intrusive thoughts in her original post
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
I’ve tried accepting the uncertainty, I’ve accepted I may be gay, bi or still straight. I’ve tried doing ERP myself to the best I can. When I accept that I’m gay or bi why doesn’t my head agree and move on? Why does it still question it? I know I don’t want to be at all. I love my family. But I just want this to move on. I want to enjoy life. Why can’t I find women attractive again? (Brief moments I do). I seriously don’t understand the false attraction? I’ve tried agreeing with it but it won’t let this drop. Why am I attracted to the same sex? Why am I attracted to people I would never thought of looking at? Why does it give me such grief about this? I know I shouldn’t look at adult content but why can I only feel good watching either lesbian or females? I tried to agree with the gay but it makes me sick and horrendous I even considered this? I just want my life back.
- Date posted
- 21w
I’m like 90% sure I’m just bi, more romantically inclined to men, mainly my bf who I wanna marry. But now my brain is like “if you lean into liking women or keep circling and circling for answers you’ll lose all attraction to men and your bf. You’re practically already a lesbian” I feel so tense and anxious I will admit I am talking to chat gpt out of desperation I’m scared of losing all attraction to him I don’t wanna be thinking about women. I don’t unless I’m really stressed cuz when I’m stressed my ocd can take advantage of that I can usually ground myself when I’m in the city with him but I’m back home for most of the summer and I can’t be physically close to him which usually reminds me that hey this is real this is what I really want in life. Him But then I panic and question I haven’t been here in a while tbh. I’m worried I don’t feel enough. I don’t like magic Mike all that much, I like softer guys. But now the fact I don’t like/get turned on by random men on tv but do women in lingerie really stresses me out and makes me worry I’m truly a lesbian but I’m not. Once I started getting to know my bf and my ex bf’s I really did truly genuinely like them and wanted to make out and everything. Idk can anyone relate to the not liking big buff men All my brain is repeating rn is “when he dies you’ll be able to date a woman, when you break up you’ll only wanna date women” and it’s stressing me out. It’s making me nauseous. I was doing well for about a couple days after I initially left but being at home has been so incredibly draining This might give you a vision of how stressful home is: I’ve been on nexplanon for 7 months ish? Only had very minimal spotting during a stressful school period. Today: fully bleeding, like a usual period. I haven’t had my period since having it put in. I wanna go back to my bf so badly rn. I’m so worried I’m faking or don’t feel enough. I’m learning what a healthy relationship looks like and I’m terrified I’m gonna up and leave him when we’re older cuz I’ll finally figure out that I’m a lesbian or smthn. Idk. Someone pls just help me out a tad
- Relationship OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- OCD newbies
- Students with OCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 14w
Hi everyone, I’ve been really anxious lately, and I just need to get this out of my head. Someone recently told me that maybe I’m bisexual — that I might be more sexually attracted to women, but more romantically attracted to men. That bisexuality is not 50/50. And ever since I heard that, I’ve been spiraling. The thing is: I don’t want this to be true. It scares me. I don’t feel romantic attraction to women, I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship with one. But yes, I get aroused by fantasies involving women — and that makes me feel broken or like I’ve been lying to myself. I love my boyfriend deeply, I don’t want to lose him. I want to feel fully connected to him, physically and emotionally. But now I’m stuck in this obsessive loop of questioning: “What if I’m just in denial?” “What if I’m not really straight?” “What if this is why my libido is low?” It’s exhausting, and I don’t know if this is OCD, anxiety, or if something is fundamentally wrong. Has anyone else felt this split — romantic feelings for one gender, sexual feelings for another? I feel so alone and scared. Thanks for listening.
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