had an episode a few hours ago & my boyfriend held my hand and told me it was going to be alright while i cried. a guilt washed over me after that - i appreciate the love he shows but i’m so sorry to him seeing all of this. would anyone have any advice for this kind of shame ? sending flowers to everyone tonight 🌻🌼🌸💐

Last night I was staying at my boyfriend’s house and couldn’t sleep. I felt like i desperately needed to go back to my parents and clean and organize my room. This has happened a few times before when I was staying at his place. Since then he’s been very upset with me. Does anyone else’s partner do this? Any advice? It’s been hard. He’s made me feel so shameful for having OCD. As if it’s not tough enough /:

He loves me and complimenta me and saya beautiful things and does many things for me, he says he loves me and he is there for me, but me.. i cant even say i love you without doubting, i am doubting my feelings my atractuon for him, everything, i feel so bad, i dont want to be like this, i hate myself . He is precious and genuine and im scared im not, i have moments when i am happy … but rn i am sad. I saw him today. i dont know what i felt but as im writing this i feel guilt amd fear. Scared that i may be pretending. I want to be happy, what if im not happy with him.. it cant be.

Tmi warning I was being intimate with my bf and I kept getting the name of someone else pop up, but I didn’t feel anxious. Afterwards, as much as I tried to delay confessing, I couldn’t help it. I confessed. My bf was fine he said I probably didn’t feel anxious because I’ve gotten used to the anxiety and it’s okay, it doesn’t define me any more than it would if I was anxious. A few minutes later, he got upset and said that the confession kinda ruined a blissful moment. I’m so upset that my head feels so turbulent I didn’t even notice it was a blissful moment for him and could’ve been for me. I feel so awful. I haven’t slept in a day, I can’t stop crying. My bf is afraid that because this specific name keeps popping up, it might mean something and he feels less than sometimes because of it. I know I shouldn’t have confessed but I felt so safe that it was like a dam broke loose. I feel so awful. What’s worse is that I’m still scared it means something, I’m scared that my boyfriend’s fear is right. He’s very understanding of OCD and how it manifests in me and everything, I think I just kinda messed up a sacred moment and I feel so much guilt and confusion and just horrendous. I’m not even fully anxious. I don’t know what to do. I apologized a lot but I feel like I don’t deserve him and so selfish