Vent warning cos my hearts hurting as I observe my world of family: I don't care who's at fault. The one parent escalating the hate relationship further between [my] parents need to stop. One of my parents is deeply shattered and feeling hopeless... in having custody of my little brother. My other parent is suing for custody. Stop it! You're legit killing each other. Is it weird to think that I could've forseen these years of struggle in family? I'm 19 and when I was 11 I dreamt my family separated. My parents hurt each other, they died, and it was just me and my little brother truly alone. I was barely an adult, he had to be homeschooled as I worked. I could only afford a small house somewhere. Then one day he was taken from me. I fell into a state of no emotions. Then I lived with my best friend and her family. I met someone. Fell in love. Bff married. I joined the navy, became a pilot and some specific kind of analyst. Then I married. My love was of military or army. (A few yrs later I had the same end of the dream but it like resumed to a new dream... it felt like real years.) I had a kid while he was deployed elsewhere. Then soon later I was taken from my home, my baby left alone, the house on fire. My other bff saved my child but I didn't know until 10 yrs and 4months later when I escaped from captivity and finally found them. I was so torn yet happy to meet my baby all grown up, kind and beautiful. My other bff found me, created a way for me to escape the torturous place. Two things kept me going in that long dream: a young man knew what was going wrong and treated me with kindness when I was held against my will. And one day holding my child and seeing my childs eyes again helped me through. I was held because I had information "higher power" people wanted and I was the only one who had the knowledge of what they wanted. I knew several languages... and never told them a single true thing or anything that would harm another person. They searched for my friend and child, always told me how they suffered and died. But I knew they were lying. Yet it still hurt. When I escaped, the man who helped me died for me. I lost him and he was only a kid. A good person! And I finally found a way to where I thought I'd find my friend and child. And those 4 months of escape I finally found them. I was finally safe. I was held tight by my loved ones, and I held my child again. I woke the next day In The Dream, the sun was just barely rising. I had a warm drink in hand. I was bruised and broken, happy, safe... and a weapon beside my hip. I stood outside closed my eyes and spoke... "Whatever it takes. I will always protect those I love. I am alive, I am hurt, yet here I stand immovable." I am a friend. There I was a mother. I am a warrior and overcomer. There I was a warrior and surviver. I have a story to share right now and every day. And there, too, in the dreams I was a story. A dream, but a story nonetheless. My point: I believe/d dreams can or could come true. Everything has made sense so far. I am afraid, yet I know I can be stronger for whatever coming my way. All I want truly is for my parents to quit screwing each others lives. Someone is going to get seriously hurt or worse. I want to help them go another direction, find a way to forgive each other for whatever happening now and for whatever happened in the past. It's DIFFICULT to forgive I KNOW. That doesn't mean that their actions towards each other can keep happening. It's not RIGHT. I want to help but I also don't know what else to do at the same time I want to take my brother with me and leave our parents to figure stuff out but I know that's a bad idea so, I think about just leaving them all even though running is a bad idea. But everytime they fought since I was 6, I wanted to run away. Idc what the root of it is even though I should find it out and help remedy the problem and make a solution but are my parents problems truly become my own to solve? I'm a kid still! I worry for the OVERALL safety of all four of us individually, and I want us to care for each other but come on! What's with this habitual, endless circle of same/ similar actions and words? Only it's escalating every year! They're divorced for 3yrs now. Who cares! The problem is their current moods towards each other and actions and bad-idea-future-intentions towards each other that'll make things worse and escalate even further! Thank you for letting me vent and sharing helps not let shatter what's left of my heart about my parents and family overall, moreso the safety and happiness of my little brother. He's my constants. I look out for him and in a way that helps me have courage to look out for myself. If he's not happy, I won't stop looking to find happiness. If he's not safe, no one is. I won't hurt anyone. But man will my loved ones hear words from me they've never heard before. Just be kind yaknow? What does it take to just........ find some peace and let go. Each of us has a choice in whether to be happy or no. Each of us has a choice in doing something or nothing. Accept what cannot be changed, right? Well if there is a way, then find that way, know the way, and help others see that way also. I want to let go and move on from finding a way to help my parents care and forgive each other, yet that feeling of knowing there is a way is too strong. Every time I jump that ship, the water rises and carries me back... every time. Every. Time. I want to move on. Is that bad? Or is it also bad that I still want to help, even though my body wants to run, yet my heart and mind know there may be a way to all of us to get along again. Okay. Timer's going off. Laaate dinner. Thank you for reading this. It means a lot. I may have caused some unnecessary stress, but any kind words will help me feel anything other than utter sadness. Much Love to you ♡ thank you for your help :)