Does anyone feel like they just don’t know how to think anymore? Like for me I feel like I don’t know how to think anymore. I remember I went 3 months keeping a song in my head 24/7 just so I wouldn’t think of nothing intrusive. I just feel like ever since then I don’t really know how to think anymore the only thing I get anxiety for is when something weird pops up when I want to think of a girl and get anxiety when I mess up. I tell this to my therapist but she doesn’t do anything about it. I really feel my therapist doesn’t listen to me but I have an appointment with her this Friday and hopefully she’ll try to do something with me cuz I’m just kind of tired of reiterating what I get anxiety for and not get treatment for it but we’ll see.

My therapist knows what to do. The first time I found out I wanted to have a kid. Second time I got put back in my body didn’t go the way I wanted to go. 3rd time I got somewhere and now my therapist has elected to not do it a 4th time with me. Now she wants me to see a therapist for diagnosing psychotic disorders and I’m like?.. aren’t you certified enough to diagnose me with one? I’m just lost as to what I should be doing or not doing. I’m continuing in letting my thoughts come and not agreeing with it and letting the thoughts rationalize on their own I just don’t understand my therapist in what she wants me to do anymore but I don’t want to switch cuz she knows what to do but for whatever reason she doesn’t want to help me the same way. I feel like she’s turned on me or is going against me now.

It sounds like you and your therapist are in agreement that you need to see someone else. It's actually very professional of her to admit when she is out of her depth. No therapist can possibly be trained in every technique or have expertise in everything

@NOCD Advocate - Katie No there’s nothing psychotic and I don’t want to see another therapist. I’ll see her Friday and go from there.

@swolejaboy Ok, my apologies. The level of dissatisfaction you expressed with your current therapist made me think that you no longer thought it beneficial to see her.

What are you hoping to achieve in therapy?

@NOCD Advocate - Katie I honestly feel like everything I’ve gone through in life up until now kind of makes me not want to continue living. I feel like I can’t feel happy like everyone else can. I just feel like I’m different then everyone else. I see people and I judge them and can see that they’re happy but yet they have so much inefficiencies that it puzzles me that they can be happy not caring that much. I always thought being the best you can be at life is what everyone should strive for but yet I see so much chaos and yet find people are happy living in their chaos world. Once football was over for me I didn’t have a place in the world anymore. Playing sports was all I ever wanted to do and I guess I’ve tried to emulate how I played sports or at least how I wanted to play but my OCD prevented me from being great in that too but anyways i always wanted to win. If my OCD didn’t prevent me from being great in sports I would have always given my best effort. I would’ve made every tackle make every play. Run for all the loose balls. Steal every pass, make every basket, hit every baseball a homerun, score every goal I can make. Sports defined my life and when it was gone I was lost and when I thought I try to live life like everyone else I thought I could live life like I would playing sports but I realized you can’t. Giving everything you got from the moment you wake up isn’t the same thing as playing a sport and it sucks it really sucks not being recognized as being great cuz no one in life cares about that shit. People are all out here being people. I’m just not good at living life. I’m good at sports and working out. Post working out and sports I’m good at customer service and numbers. I just need help how to live life which I guess is what I want therapy for to help me live life.

It's a question worth reflecting on. I ask because one reason people often are dissatisfied with therapy or angry at therapists is because their understanding of OCD recovery is faulty. Usually this looks like someone going into therapy with the goal of "getting rid of the thoughts". That's impossible. No qualified OCD therapist will ever work with you towards that goal, because they know it will make the OCD worse