Does anyone remember the exact moment like the date and time and everything when Ocd hit you? I’m just curious because for me I remember everything about that moment. I’m always like “if I could go back to July 3rd 2020 at 8 am right before it hit me” I was drinking coffee sitting on the couch on my phone.

Oh my goodness I’m so sorry to hear that. Thank you for sharing, and you’ll get through it I know you will

Ugh that sounds so awful, ocd is a beast. Thank you for sharing though it’s nice to know I’m not alone in this.

I can relate to it just randomly popping into your head ugh thanks for your response! It’s interesting to hear others stories

How long ago was that?

@gaby. Well I just graduated with my bachelors and am going to get my masters so probably 4-5 years ago? I just woke up one morning with a panic attack and things went downhill quickly. Idk then that summer it went through a few themes before settling on scrupulousity.

@Nikki1809 Omg this is kind of me because I also had a panic attack one morning and ever since then it’s all I think about. I also just got my bachelors like a year ago. But i can’t imagine dealing with this for that long and having it start during finals. Ugh Thank you for sharing!

@gaby. I’m sorry this happened to you also. It’s scary at first cuz you don’t quite know what is happening. I figured it out pretty quick all things considered cuz I study psychology, so that was lucky. It was rough for a few years there, for sure. I’m still not functioning at 100% but I’m definitely better now and things are less rough than they were before, and when they do get hard I’m able to handle things easier because I’ve learned how.

@Nikki1809 I’m so glad to hear that! I didn’t know what it was either when it first hit me yeah I convinced myself I “turned myself gay” until I did research and I considered the possibility it might be something else. I struggled with anxiety and depression before so I had an idea that it was way more than that logically speaking you can’t “turn yourself gay”. It’s been easier lately I’m just frustrated sometimes that I let this happen to me.

@gaby. For me it’s mostly fears that I’ll go to hell, or that I’m a pedophile, and also a lot of magical thinking and responsibility ocd. My main theme is religious ocd, which is weird because I was never very religious until I had ocd. Like I’ve never been to church or anything. But one day my brain was like, “ok but what if you go to hell?” And things just plummeted downhill after that.

@Nikki1809 Idk I’ve always believed in God and been spiritual but always on my own time and never as part of any particular denomination or church.

@Nikki1809 It’s the weirdest things that get to us. I’ve heard some people with pedophilia ocd don’t even like kids lol for me I never even cared about having a boyfriend or a relationship at all it was the very last thing on my mind, and my sexuality was never a question it just was the way it was, I’m just into men the end lol but one day a random thought came out of nowhere “what if you’re gay” and here we are

@gaby. So it’s very weird for me that all of a sudden I’m SO worried that I’ll eventually like a woman even though truthfully I don’t wanna be with anyone I was just focusing on me just leave me alone with my romance novels and I’m good lmao

@gaby. It is so weird! Like I hear people say all the time that ocd attacks what matters most to you but like...my spirituality was a thing before ocd, but it wasn’t that important to me. It makes me feel like such an outsider sometimes.

@Nikki1809 YES i feel that and then my ocd is like “this is a sign that your fears are real bc your sexuality was never important to you” well duh it was never important to me bc I didn’t need certainty lol but you can’t use logic against ocd

@gaby. Yeah. It definitely makes me feel left out because most of the advice I ever read for scrupulousity is geared toward people who go to church and we’re religious to begin with.