I had a OCD “low” today and my main theme is HOCD. Though today my brain latched onto the thought I have BPD/ Cluster B personality disorder. Has anyone’s else’s ocd done this to them? I don’t want reassurance I just don’t know whether ocd can actually do this as it’s not HOCD.

2 nights ago I saw something on my phone and it has now spiraled into me scared of being trans or being gay because i don’t want to be… now i have a huge fear of what if i am gay and am attracted to woman or what if im not comfortable in my body and want to turn into a man. It’s freaking me out - my ocd always makes me question my character! Has anyone experienced this 😩

I wouldn’t really say I have SO-OCD, but it manifests in some areas of my TOCD. Like if I see a woman for example my thoughts will go “what if I like her but as a man?” like my thoughts say I’m a straight man instead of a straight woman. And it’s really bothering me. If I see an attractive woman my brain will re-wire and imagine myself as a man looking at an attraction woman and it gets super uncomfortable that I have to like shake my head and say “no no no no no” multiple times to get the thought out. I know that counts as a compulsion but it’s hard to not do it because it’s so triggering. Now I don’t mind if I like women, however I’m really scared that I’m actually a straight man who likes women (or at least a bisexual man, considering I like men) and I hate it because I don’t want to be a man. Like I’ll think of my desired relationship as a woman dating a man but my OCD will switch it up to me being the man dating the woman, which is the opposite of what I want. I don’t want to be a man at all and I don’t want to date a woman, both of those are the opposite of my desires, but I’m still so scared. I’ll accept myself if I actually like women and am a bisexual woman, however I heard that being bisexual can mean being trans which scares me (for the record it was said in reddit by a sub which is mainly focused on a pseudoscientific phenomenon, that is still believed by the members to be true, so it’s definitely not a trustworthy statement, but my OCD will use anything to work against me) Does anyone here relate a little? 🥲

I’m having an OCD flare right now, and my brain is telling me “you don’t have a sense of self.” A few days ago, I felt confident and grounded. But today, my brain is looping on every reason why I must be “unstable.” For me, the things that trigger this fear are: • Looking back at past versions of myself and feeling like they don’t fit who I am now. • Cycling through different interests and worrying that means I’m just trying to “be someone.” • Feeling doubtful when my mood shifts (like going from confident one day to grumpy the next). Questioning my treatment choices: one day thinking I need OCD residential, the next deciding I’m fine sticking with my therapist. OCD tells me this back-and-forth means I’m unstable. • OCD telling me, “See? This must mean you have BPD.” Logically, I know people change interests, grow out of past phases, and feel differently depending on context. I also know I have consistent themes (music (specifically metal, electronic, rap (but of course my OCD makes me question if I really like it), horses, fairness, sensuality, authenticity, health, art, certain aesthetics… etc.). But when OCD flares, it makes me doubt everything and convinces me I have no solid identity. I’m also PMSing, tired, and hungry right now, which makes the OCD voice louder. It feels real, even though I can recognize it’s probably just OCD doing its thing. Note I also have ADHD + OCPD + BDD I have been told by four therapists and one psych that I do not have BPD. But of course “what if they’re wrong.” “What if they’re not telling me.”