- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I can relate to how you feel. This disorder, combined, with depression, left me feeling way "behind" in life. Try not to pin your self-worth on those things. You still have the choice to work toward being a person who does good things. I know that feels difficult for you right now, but I suspect you're more successful at it than you realize ☺.
- Date posted
- 5y
Sometimes it feels like I'll never get there, I feel stuck
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- 5y
@Makki23 I hear ya. Hopefully, therapy will work out for you. Regardless, we'll be here for you ☺!
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- 5y
@Ben84 Thank you Ben :)
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- 5y
I'm the same, I'm 6 years behind my peers in terms of education, as I dropped out of traditional schooling at 15 due to anxiety symptoms, and I can't hold down a low-demand job. I have a higher IQ than friends who are geneticists and a wider knowledge base than friends who are policy advisers. I am so *bored* with my life, I don't even have the vocabulary to describe it, yet I'm terrified of success and doubt my own ability to cope with the sudden cliff which inevitably comes at the end of this degree.
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- 5y
I felt this.
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- 5y
So one thing I’ve realized is that there is no set timeline on how life should go. There are people who get married young and then divorce. There are people who marry later and they never get divorced. People switch careers in their 30s and 40s. I think social media makes this worse. It feels like you are falling behind from your peers but if you look at the bigger picture there’s so many different life stories going on and they aren’t the same. Be kind to yourself. I went to a prestigious university and 5 years after graduation I’m barely keeping my job and not making as much money as I should be making. I see people from my alma mater who are really successful and then I see others who aren’t even using their degree and working at McDonald’s.
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- 5y
You definitely have a point :) thank you
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- 5y
@Makki23 Another thing is a lot of my friends partied too hard or had unresolved mental health issues and ended up failing or dropping out and starting again at another school when they were ready years later. I had too much pressure from my parents who didn’t take my ocd seriously and it made me party as well. The only reason I got through is because I bought adderall off of people and abused it to study and concentrate. I would’ve felt better going to college in a better mindset, even if that meant another school at an older age. I know people now who had the same kind of pressure as me and they are still struggling with alcohol and drug issues while trying to be high functioning. These are the same people that appear to have it all together on social media. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
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- 5y
❤️ I know what it feels like to feel behind. Do you have any goals you’d like to work toward? Going from small to big? Stuff like: redecorate my room. Run a 5k. Learn to bake amazing chocolate chip cookies. Volunteer. Get a part time job. Go on a date.
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- 5y
Thank you, I'll try to start small :)
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- 5y
Sorry you're feeling that way! It's very hard to meet external standards for yourself, usually you're imagining them anyway. What's most important is what YOU want, YOUR dreams, and YOUR standard for yourself. As long as you're listening to those things, you'll be okay ♥️
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
tw . . . . . . I don't want to trigger anyone, so please be warned before reading. I'm feeling pretty hopeless. I don't know if I deserve... anything. I've had two therapists now tell me I'm normal and I don't need to worry so much, but I find it hard to believe them. Just when I think I'm doing okay, thoughts flood back in. I feel like the world is better off without me in it and that others would agree if they weren't a paid therapist there to give me reassurance. I'm tempted to break up with my boyfriend because he doesn't deserve this. I want to pretend I'm okay for the sake of my parents. But if they passed away, I'm not sure I'd have much strength to live for myself. This feeling is pretty bad right now. Overwhelming. I have absolutely no love for myself. I can't even distract myself by watching TV or shows I love, because all I can think is, "Look at those people. They deserve to live and be happy, and I'm not one of them." Gah, this is bad. I'm an adult, and I feel like such a baby for feeling this way. How dramatic am I? How can other people have similar (if not worse) thoughts than me, and then still be ok with themselves? I miss the person I used to be. I miss feeling okay. I feel ok momentarily, but then it all comes crashing down. I can't stand it. All I want is for things to go back to how they used to be.
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- 21w
I'm really frustrated right now because once again I feel like I can't keep up with my own brain and I just can't keep doing this. I'm so tired of doing this. My head is always going and going and going and I just want to unplug it. It makes me so stressed. It's like I have someone else in my head who won't shut up and is always pointing everything I do out. Like I'm walking on eggshells around myself so I don't trigger these thoughts. But if I walk on egg shells then it just goes on about something else and I feel like I'm going crazy.. I feel so bad because it makes me so snappy. I want to bash my head in because I'm so over it. The only thing I know that helps is anxiety meds, because I had one one time and it actually really helped me (it didn't even do it's job! Because of how bad my anxiety is!! I'm just so desperate at this point for relief) But the last time I brought up going on meds for anxiety with my mom she said I'll get addicted, like my dad, or my grandma, or whoever else in my family because everyone in my family is addicted to SOMETHING. I don't see the issue in trying though. I feel like I'm someone who could really benefit from anxiety meds. I don't talk about my feelings often BECAUSE of anxiety, so it seems like I'm just trying to go on meds for no reason. But it's like..my body hurts. All the time. And my brain never stops. My brain is so messed up. I feel like I could do so much more if I wasn't like this. It's never going away, I've tried and I've tried and I'm still a mess. I just want it to stop. I'm not asking for much. I just want the fear to stop and the intrusive thoughts to stop and the racing thoughts and the feelings of doom and the nervousness and and I actually want to feel okay in my own skin for fucking once. I've tried everything nothing works im losing patience and I'm losing hope. I feel like there's something wrong with me. I feel like my brain is broken and that makes me sad to be honest. I feel like everyone around me can work. Why can't my stupid brain work???? I try so hard. I try so hard all the time. And it still doesn't do what it needs to do. I hate myself so much.
- Date posted
- 13w
I’m 21. The 3 year anniversary of my graduation from high school is soon. Lately, I’ve been worried about where I’m going in life and if it’s even worth it because I don’t know why I exist or what my purpose is After graduating I lost a new job I loved due to poor management on my boss’s side, they failed to teach me my job then fired me for it, and moved from my mom’s house into my dads house due to issues with my stepdad, both of which put me into a depression. I got a new job 3 months later. But ever since being fired and moving out, I feel like I’ve been in a depressive cycle of Eat, Sleep, Work, Repeat. I’ll get home and doomscroll for hours, and occasionally play games with friends at nights. Occasionally I’ll do my hobbies but usually feel guilty for it. I don’t see my friends and family nearly as much as I used to. I want to, but it feels like everything I want to do, my intrusive thoughts find a way to keep me at home. “It’s a waste of time.” “You need to be productive on your time off or you’ll go nowhere in life so stay home.” But then if I stay home it’s “you need to go out and do something.” “You’re being unproductive sitting at home all day.” “Seeing them wont make you feel better, you’ll never be happy” My girlfriend lives 6 hours away and is usually the only time I’d go outside and live and feel in the moment, but even then I’d feel guilt. I feel like my OCD makes me feel guilty for everything. She’s helped me a lot, but lately we’ve had a few issues we’ve worked past that made me fear for losing her too. I’ve felt depressed for years now. Before being fired, I usually felt pretty good and was almost normal feeling. I’d had control over my fears and intrusive thoughts of suicide and the meaning of life, and had accepted them and wasn’t afraid. I knew it wasn’t me. But lately I’ve been trying to push myself out of this depressive cycle, and it’s made my OCD and fears of suicide and if life has meaning, come right back. I’m handling it slightly better, but it’s still hard. I just want to move past this and stop questioning why I’m even doing anything, if I want to end it all, when I know for certain I don’t want to and that I get to make my own meaning in life. I have dreams, I want to get back into art. I want to move in with my girlfriend eventually and start a family. But my OCD makes me so scared to even try to make art, and it makes me so scared I won’t be happy or content with my dreams. I feel so alone and sad. I feel like life will pass me by while I’m stuck feeling this sad and scared. It sucks, but I’m trying my best to get there. Gotta keep moving
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