Curious if any of you with OCD have other family members with OCD? What’s that like for you?

Yeah. I think maybe when fears like that become completely rational in a person’s mind, that’s when it kind of becomes one with their personality. My mom kind of takes it for granted that my dad will accommodate her social anxiety.

How does that make you feel that he has that kind of double standard?

@Alyosha Very frustrated. More at my family than at him actually

@NOCD Advocate - Katie Oh? I’m curious as to why, if you’re comfortable sharing.

This resonates with me

@Alyosha Is ocd genetic or are you thinking it is?

@catattak Not sure I understand your question. Did you maybe leave out a word?

Rumination and reassurance-seeking are both compulsions :)

That’s great. You can talk to each other about it?

How does that make you feel that he won’t recognize his own difficulty?

@Alyosha It is disappointing and frustrating. My dad is a prideful person. He doesn't listen to anyone. I honestly struggle in building a close relationship with him.

That’s great that she can be an encouragement to you!

Did your parents over protect you guys growing up? I have children and I am curious how I should raise them to minimize their chance of having OCD like me.

@Sunflower 1234 I think OCD is both genetic and environmental. I did what I could to not pass along my OCD behaviors. I wasn't overprotective like my mom was (and is, even in her 70s). So my kids aren't the fearful mess I was when I was the age they are now. Still, I see the seeds of OCD trying to sprout in my daughter. She's a great young adult with a good head on her shoulders, though, and sees that I believe good mental health is worth the fight. She'll be ready to deal with much earlier than I was.

@WhatATripp You sound like a wonderful mother. My oldest is only 5 so I cannot see any OCD tendencies in her yet. Do you have any tips to pass on to me as I raise my young children? Thanks.

@Sunflower 1234 Hm. I dunno if they overprotected us. I don’t think so? It was more a combination of their less-than-healthy tendencies and the difficult community we grew up in. Mom is afraid of direct communication, and used passive aggression to communicate. We were on edge, trying to avoid getting into trouble, or wondering why we were in trouble. We relied on the “emotional temperature” of the room to tell us if we were ok. Dad is probably legalistic: stuff like—going 5mph over the speed limit could jeopardize your salvation. And the religious community we were/are in is a whole other story that I’m still trying to process.

@Alyosha Thank you for sharing. Did your dad seek treatment for his OCD? I used to have religious OCD but my theme has evolved into something else now.

@Alyosha Religious OCD is really hard to deal with.

@Sunflower 1234 In general, the most important thing to do is remember you are not perfect. Mistakes will be made. Forgive yourself. Love without condition. Your kids are going to do some pretty stupid things as they figure out this world and their place in it. Be the person they can go to no matter what, for both love and correction, consequences and grace. I don't know what kind of OCD you have. Mine is contamination and probably perfectionism. So not going back over things kids clean when they're young and learning is very important. They dusted! (and left huge spots behind) Suck it up and leave it. Watching you fix it shows them they weren't good enough. And sows seeds of OCD. This exercise alone got me past having to do everything perfect all the time :)

@Sunflower 1234 Dad doesn’t have OCD. That’s how he believes he and everyone else should live.

@Sunflower 1234 That’s what he modeled to us.

Oh my mother also had a lot of harm OCD as a child/teen, which was also the first one I ever had. I think her personality just adapted to it really, she had a very chaotic and neglectful upbringing, so she really enjoys the feeling of control. She finds it very difficult to take her mind off it and be calm when she's in a place which feels disordered or unclean and that's where you can clearly see that it's OCD- but she doesn't see it as a big issue really, which is fair enough, and she gets a lot of enjoyment out of making her personal space feel safe and comfortable to her, and it doesn't otherwise interfere with her life or occupy her thinking time, she keeps really busy. She's actually really resilient.

😞

I’m glad she supports your therapeutic endeavors!

So they “get” your difficulties?

@Alyosha No they have seem to have forgotten or pushed it out of their minds. They think I am over reacting as they are like 'but we got through it just fine' as they don't remember what it was like.