- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Don’t hate yourself. It is just your ocd and it’s lies.
- Date posted
- 5y
Your dad is a loving person You're not a horrible person BUT, your OCD is telling you that he's not loving and it's also telling you that you are horrible. Neither of those are true
- Date posted
- 5y
I notice you write "what people will think" a couple times. That suggests to me that you're using the cognitive distortion of mind reading. Here's more about it https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://cogbtherapy.com/cbt-blog/common-cognitive-distortions-mind-reading%23:~:text%3DOne%2520common%2520distortion%2520is%2520mind,wreak%2520havoc%2520with%2520our%2520mood.&ved=2ahUKEwiQz9rZxrzrAhWXK80KHcbDB1YQFjANegQIDBAy&usg=AOvVaw2Sc7T6PxE5vtF852kcRZIe
- Date posted
- 5y
I had a TERRIBLE thought of my mom doing something awful. It FREAKED me out because my mom is an amazing, loving person. Also my OCD thoughts have always been about ME, so when a thought about my mom came up, it scared me so much. At first I was just like ‘oh okay weird thought.’ But then I went in to full panic mode ‘WHY WOULD I EVER THINK THAT ABOUT MY MOM!?’ And it really upset me. This happened a few nights ago, but it still has been upsetting me so much. I called my mom bawling my eyes out - she understands my OCD so she just listens and is there for me. For me, it’s the thought that people will judge I could think that about my mom more than the thought itself. Which I understand the fear of what others think is what is driving my anxiety. You are a great person and your thoughts are just thoughts! Hang in there!
- Date posted
- 5y
I know. He’s a great Dad. I just feel like a horrible daughter for the thoughts I have about him. He doesn’t deserve this. He knows I have bad thoughts about him, my mom, my brother and honestly my whole family including my husband too. He doesn’t know the content and I don’t ever want him to know. I also have a fear that if I have a panic attack around my family they won’t love me anymore and I know that’s not true either. 😞 it’s so sad. I know I shouldn’t be mad at myself I should just be mad at my ocd but it’s hard to separate it from myself
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank u all ❤️ I appreciate your support!
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 19w
Hi guys! I had really bad harm ocd about 2 years ago and I went through therapy and eventually got really good at handling it when it would pop up. The other day, I was scrolling on TikTok and came across a girl talking about a guy who was presenting a lot of schizophrenic symptoms but no one paid attention and got him help, he was having a lot of delusions, hallucinating, thinking everyone was out to get him, thought he was Jesus and his dad was the president and ended up doing horrific things. The day after that, I was dealing with some work drama and had the thought of “what if all my coworkers are against me and trying to get me fired”. That really stressed me out, cause I don’t normally think about them like that and I went down a rabbit hole of thinking that was the beginning of me developing schizophrenia, ended up googling stuff all night, taking tests, crying and seeking reassurance. I had a thought the other day “your dad is the president”, this one didn’t stress me out as bad as I knew it was just the video I had seen and it was an intrusive thought about it, and I also didn’t believe it. Today I was with some friends and I got a prize at a place we went and it said “lonely” on it. I do have my moments of feeling lonely and this week has been specifically trying so I had a thought like “oh someone’s out to get me cause I got this”. I know this isn’t logical and it wouldn’t make sense to just randomly get it if someone was truly after me and it was just a stupid prize at a random place, anyone could’ve gotten it. Im just struggling a lot with schizophrenic OCD and thinking I’m in the pre stages of it. In my good moments, I don’t think I am at all and it was all just sparked from the video I watched but in my bad moments, these thoughts feel real!! They really stress me out and make me feel like I’m going to lose my mind causing me to lose my job/ end up in a psych hospital/ never live a normal life/ end up alone, never see me my loved ones/ hurt my loved ones. I just want to feel normal and not like I’m about to lose my mind and everything I care about. Please help!!! Anyone else going through something similar and can help me get through this!
- Date posted
- 16w
There are moments when something takes over me, like I have to fight myself (literally restrain myself) from acting on my thoughts, like causing harm to my parents or brother. I get these feelings that feel so real, like they are genuinely my own. There are moments when I feel like I like them, and it makes me question whether this is truly OCD or if it's me. Then I wonder whether this is me lying to myself, because I feel the urge to smile at the thought, or feel like I have some pleasure. I check whether I like them, and then I feel like I do, so I stop immediately. I feel like my old self is gone, and I've become this person, and that it was never OCD. Right now, as I type this, I feel like I'm lying to myself. There are moments when I feel like my brain splits, as if this is my new personality. Or there are moments when I feel like it might feel liberating or freeing if I do it. I genuinely feel like this is not OCD. There are moments when I stop the thought, and I feel like it's out of principle, as if I don't truly want to stop at that thought. I truly can't picture this to be my life now. I never had these thoughts in my life until two and a half months ago. It truly makes me question whether it was OCD. I don't get why. I used to view my family as my world, and now my mind is making me scared and feel like my room is my only safe place from them, from me.
- Date posted
- 13w
This is going to sound crazy but I guess I am. For over a year now I’ve suffered from ocd. And I always thought ocd was just I turned the door the wrong way but it’s so much more. I feel as if I’ll never get better. I’m in a relationship, for 8 months now with the most encouraging and supportive boyfriend ever. I tell him all of my thoughts and he understands and accepts because he understands it’s not thoughts I mean to have. I feel so awful being the way I am and being with him. I feel like I can’t be happy because it’s always something going on with me. He has a bigger family all boys, and everyone I hangout with my boyfriend and his brothers I get uncomfortable and weird and convince myself I have feelings for them or I want them. It makes me so disgusted and physically ill every time. The thoughts never go away and it’s not even about them it’s tons of things. I cry constantly because I can’t get the thoughts to go away. I can’t hang out with anybody out of fear I’ll have a thought I don’t want. I feel like I’m so alone. A year ago I felt the same way about my dad which I know is absolutely disgusting and I would never have feelings for my own family and dad, bit thoughts pop into my head. I don’t know if it’s because my brain wants a reason and answer as to why I think those things so I tell myself I like them, but I can’t shake it. I’m trying medicines and hopefully getting into therapy soon. I just don’t know if it ever is going to get better. Some days are better than others and every time I have a bad thought I get heat flashes and and my stomach hurts and I get anxiety and I just want it all to go away. I hate it so much and I feel as if I’ll never be normal again and never be able to live my life freely. I have to constantly worry about what my brain might come up with. These are not thoughts I want to have but somehow my brain has them and I feel so disgusted and I need help so badly. I never know what to do and i feel like an awful human being. I convince myself these things are try when I know they aren’t deep down. I’m losing my charachter and I’m losing myself and the person I know I am which would never have thoughts like these. I want it all to go away. Please tell me it gets better. I don’t recognize myself anymore.
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