- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Don’t hate yourself. It is just your ocd and it’s lies.
- Date posted
- 5y
Your dad is a loving person You're not a horrible person BUT, your OCD is telling you that he's not loving and it's also telling you that you are horrible. Neither of those are true
- Date posted
- 5y
I notice you write "what people will think" a couple times. That suggests to me that you're using the cognitive distortion of mind reading. Here's more about it https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://cogbtherapy.com/cbt-blog/common-cognitive-distortions-mind-reading%23:~:text%3DOne%2520common%2520distortion%2520is%2520mind,wreak%2520havoc%2520with%2520our%2520mood.&ved=2ahUKEwiQz9rZxrzrAhWXK80KHcbDB1YQFjANegQIDBAy&usg=AOvVaw2Sc7T6PxE5vtF852kcRZIe
- Date posted
- 5y
I had a TERRIBLE thought of my mom doing something awful. It FREAKED me out because my mom is an amazing, loving person. Also my OCD thoughts have always been about ME, so when a thought about my mom came up, it scared me so much. At first I was just like ‘oh okay weird thought.’ But then I went in to full panic mode ‘WHY WOULD I EVER THINK THAT ABOUT MY MOM!?’ And it really upset me. This happened a few nights ago, but it still has been upsetting me so much. I called my mom bawling my eyes out - she understands my OCD so she just listens and is there for me. For me, it’s the thought that people will judge I could think that about my mom more than the thought itself. Which I understand the fear of what others think is what is driving my anxiety. You are a great person and your thoughts are just thoughts! Hang in there!
- Date posted
- 5y
I know. He’s a great Dad. I just feel like a horrible daughter for the thoughts I have about him. He doesn’t deserve this. He knows I have bad thoughts about him, my mom, my brother and honestly my whole family including my husband too. He doesn’t know the content and I don’t ever want him to know. I also have a fear that if I have a panic attack around my family they won’t love me anymore and I know that’s not true either. 😞 it’s so sad. I know I shouldn’t be mad at myself I should just be mad at my ocd but it’s hard to separate it from myself
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank u all ❤️ I appreciate your support!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
That's what OCD feels like. Especially the constant questioning and doubt and the more you do it, the more you doubt yourself and it ends up leaving you open for other 'attacks'. I left the house today with my mom to run errands and things were fine, like my intrusive thoughts weren't bothering me that much in the beginning though they're constant in the background. Then when we stopped to get a drink from this store before leaving, I got more anxious because there were lots of kids around (it's afternoon here and i guess school was coming out). Kids were walking around in school uniform and I just told myself to keep looking away because i knew that my intrusive thoughts were going to flare up. Obviously that just made it worse and I just wanted to run away and crawl into a hole or something. Then a few minutes passed and then my brain said what if you were leering at the kids or looking at them inappropriately. And then my brain kept telling me that I wanted to or must have filmed one of them even though it's not something I want to do and know deep down that I didn't do it and don't want to. Ever. I just felt so disgusted with myself, I had to stop myself from crying on the way home. I hate this disease and I hate that its made its home in my head.
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- Date posted
- 17w
Hi guys! I had really bad harm ocd about 2 years ago and I went through therapy and eventually got really good at handling it when it would pop up. The other day, I was scrolling on TikTok and came across a girl talking about a guy who was presenting a lot of schizophrenic symptoms but no one paid attention and got him help, he was having a lot of delusions, hallucinating, thinking everyone was out to get him, thought he was Jesus and his dad was the president and ended up doing horrific things. The day after that, I was dealing with some work drama and had the thought of “what if all my coworkers are against me and trying to get me fired”. That really stressed me out, cause I don’t normally think about them like that and I went down a rabbit hole of thinking that was the beginning of me developing schizophrenia, ended up googling stuff all night, taking tests, crying and seeking reassurance. I had a thought the other day “your dad is the president”, this one didn’t stress me out as bad as I knew it was just the video I had seen and it was an intrusive thought about it, and I also didn’t believe it. Today I was with some friends and I got a prize at a place we went and it said “lonely” on it. I do have my moments of feeling lonely and this week has been specifically trying so I had a thought like “oh someone’s out to get me cause I got this”. I know this isn’t logical and it wouldn’t make sense to just randomly get it if someone was truly after me and it was just a stupid prize at a random place, anyone could’ve gotten it. Im just struggling a lot with schizophrenic OCD and thinking I’m in the pre stages of it. In my good moments, I don’t think I am at all and it was all just sparked from the video I watched but in my bad moments, these thoughts feel real!! They really stress me out and make me feel like I’m going to lose my mind causing me to lose my job/ end up in a psych hospital/ never live a normal life/ end up alone, never see me my loved ones/ hurt my loved ones. I just want to feel normal and not like I’m about to lose my mind and everything I care about. Please help!!! Anyone else going through something similar and can help me get through this!
- Date posted
- 13w
There are moments when something takes over me, like I have to fight myself (literally restrain myself) from acting on my thoughts, like causing harm to my parents or brother. I get these feelings that feel so real, like they are genuinely my own. There are moments when I feel like I like them, and it makes me question whether this is truly OCD or if it's me. Then I wonder whether this is me lying to myself, because I feel the urge to smile at the thought, or feel like I have some pleasure. I check whether I like them, and then I feel like I do, so I stop immediately. I feel like my old self is gone, and I've become this person, and that it was never OCD. Right now, as I type this, I feel like I'm lying to myself. There are moments when I feel like my brain splits, as if this is my new personality. Or there are moments when I feel like it might feel liberating or freeing if I do it. I genuinely feel like this is not OCD. There are moments when I stop the thought, and I feel like it's out of principle, as if I don't truly want to stop at that thought. I truly can't picture this to be my life now. I never had these thoughts in my life until two and a half months ago. It truly makes me question whether it was OCD. I don't get why. I used to view my family as my world, and now my mind is making me scared and feel like my room is my only safe place from them, from me.
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