I had a very creepy dream where I was running around in some building where i knew it was an odd Catholic church and I was avoiding it but at the same time trying to see what was in there and all of a sudden I started seeing ppl getting possessed and killed! I saw a person all bent backwards with its skin looking like acid had barely been thrown on them and at that point I had felt the devils presence and I was super scared so in the same dream my ocd mixed in I began mind chattering about the devil to come for me and he did! He literally encarnated in like an old lady with an evil smile with a black hood on and he had cold long bony fingers reaching for my neck he was trying to choke me! I began speaking scripture upon him and he began to back away from me slowly but wouldn't go fully I felt like it wasnt working! It wasnt until I mentioned "the blood of Jesus has power!!!" That he completely disappeared. I woke up and I felt really scared about it that while tryna fall asleep again I was still thinking about the such force he tried wrapping his fingers on my neck and since I was laying on my bfs chest at that time apparently I had my wrist right on his throat and he gently moved it off so now I'm like what if the devil was tryna make me kill em ?? my head's hurts quite bad I'm even shaking

You may feel left out by your man but never feel left out by God, You'll never walk alone (Joshua 1:9) He can be whatever youre in need of. Rely on Him for peace and comfort and nobody else. I think you should read that book whenever you feel your ocd is stronger than usual. Make anything God related your go-to.

By man* I meant not your man lmao

Don't get too stressed out trying to look for it either lol...right!?..awww thank you for seeing me that way lol..wow really!? See that's a sign from God to you!

Amen I think so too ?❤ however I'm still a little shook. I consider it a nightmare but if it was a revelation what I understood from it is that if I start to take the authority God has given me over the devil he will flee. I was speaking scripture against em regarding anxiety and in the dream he was slowly backing away but somehow still smiling cuz he didn't think I had more where that came from. It wasn't until I sealed that fight with the blood of Jesus that his smile was gone and stared at me with anger and completely disappeared. And about my bf, Im not quite sure I had my wrist right on his throat. Only reason I think that is cuz he gently moved it. After that he began caressing it. He never told me" hey you're hurting me" or "your wrist is right on my neck" or something. Maybe the same paranoia of my dream is making me have a false memory of me having my wrist right on his throat? Idk ? I been trying really hard to not overanalyze before I fall into a vicious cycle. I told my bf about dream and mentioned the fact that I had woken up secs prior to him moving my wrist to caress it for him to see if he told me something about me actually having my wrist on his throat and he didn't say anything. I asked em "I had my wrist on your chest right?" And he said yes. After the dream I started crying and just took it to prayer. I felt much better. But you know the feeling when deep down inside you're still worried about something? Yeah that's me right now...

Oh man me and my guy have been fighting like crazy which has made my ocd kinda intense lately ? things at church are much better now as far my anxiety over singing goes. God delivered me from it and now i sing more confidently! Hallelujah! However things overall are still a lil stressful with the team because ifeel like we're all irresponsible and there's a lot of tension going on between us which is not good in the Lord's eyes...I remember my own therapist told me to go to church and rely on God for my recovery!!! I took that as a sign from God telling me to rely on Him instead because nothing is impossible for Him!. Ask God for guidance. I personally think you should rely on Him for recovery instead but then again you are in charge of your own actions..I know it's hard to keep yourself from doing compulsions so I suggest to continue reading that book and go to church as much as possible and let God take over because He's putting this new method in your heart so trust it because it's for a reason. Remember, we walk by faith and not by sight! Thank you so much buddy love ya too ?

Yeah whatever you think is best for you you should do. I know it's hard to make a decision because I'm very indecisive myself lol just be easy on yourself.. I can't lie to you because God knows and sees everything so I'ma be honest. Yes I live with my bf and we are not married. We feel terrible for being under sin and what's sadder is that we are aware of it meaning it's an inequity now! It's a sin we enjoy ? so yes I do believe problems stem from there. Amen to that!...um also I was scrolling down older posts from days ago and I saw your comment to a user named ocd465 about her pocd (which I also have. What theme don't I have? Lol) suggesting Christianity as her recovery and you mentioned a pedophile finding recovery through faith in God and that triggered me because 1. Ive heard all types of ppl get deliverance by God whether they're homosexuals murderers prostitutes or drug addicts but never pedophiles. I always asked myself why don't they ever mention pedos? And that surprised me so much just because I had never heard about them be mentioned as deliverance examples and 2. I've had many involuntary mind chatters in where I tell God that if I truly am a pedo he'd eventually lemme hear about a pedophile getting delivered from it so now I'm like omg what if God took my involuntary mind chatters in consideration and confirmed I'm one ? I really don't want this to get outta hand and trying extremely hard to not think about this too much. I wish I would've never read your comment. Nothing against you I promise. Your comment was pretty helpful actually but you know ocd...@LaPink

It's just a question I had always asked myself about pedos even tho i know there's nothing impossible for God. My ocd makes me be scared and feel God answered my question as a way of confirming I am one.

Wow! That's so shocking! I'm not judging or anything please don't think that. My bf actually got raped at the age of 5 twice. Once by his own uncle and another by a neighbor ? it was really hard for me to hear that because of my whole pocd that he does not know about. But Like I said I had always wondered why I had never heard about pedos being mentioned whenever deliverance was talked about by ministers and although im aware of the fact that God can deliver anything from anyone I didn't think there was ever a pedo in history who repented and became delivered by Him. It brings me more worry and confusion because I'd always tell myself "you're not a pedo because a true pedo doesn't feel remorse" for relief and comfort but now that I know there IS such a thing as a pedo feeling remorse my mind is pretty sensitive now ? I remember days ago I was watching a preacher on YouTube and noticed he also had some videos regarding pedophilia so i immediately scrolled down fast to avoid it and once again I got triggered for a few mins cuz my ocd made me feel that God was giving me another sign that I really am one and He's waiting for me to confess it or something so I can get delivered ? or then I'm like well He does know me better than I know myself so He knows I probably am one and I'm just in denial ahhhhh! Thank you though and God bless you for the comfort ❤. I think God "giving me signs about me actually being my fears" are just another intrusive thought itself. I didn't ask in prayer for Him to reveal that to me. It was an involuntary mind chatter because I fear it so much. After reading your comment I became so overwhelmed I took it to prayer and then I went to sleep. When I woke up I was still a lil bothered by it. Feeling the typical ocd dread you feel afterwards lamenting the fact that you weren't worried barely hrs ago or the day before do you get me? But right now I'm trying to forget about it and move on. I'm trying to avoid overanalyzing . Cuz in ocd the more you hold on to it the more it'll hold on to you

Lol! I see I'm not the only one who makes jokes about their ocd ?..? omg no no! you didn't have to delete it because that was helpful to the other user if she were to come back on this app. Aw now I feel bad. It wasn't my intention to make you feel like you're not of help to others just because MY ocd got in the way? I'm really really sorry!..I feel you! I'd love to make road trips! I'm not a home person I'd rather be out but having fun in a safe way of course. Ya know, visit different churches. Do anything God related. My goal is to serve God any way I can and I'm so grateful that I get to sing for Him after wanting to be a singer ever since I was a little girl but now i get to be a singer for the Lord which is even more of a blessing!?

Oh great I just read someone else's post that clearly labeled it as a pocd trigger and i went ahead to read it anyway for them to say that they read about pedos also feeling disgust at times ? I'm trying to block the feelings of lamentation again because I know that's just the way of the ocd cycle manifesting itself. Ugh I think I should just stop reading ppls post on here...

I'd usually do that too but since I currently have pocd more than any other theme even though I know I shouldn't click on the pocd ones cuz they can trigger me i click mostly on pocd to use that as exposure and also to see if anybody else can relate to what I feel. And yes I agree there's times there's a pop up surprise in ppls posts ?...thank youuuu ? I still get nervous but not how I used to God delivered me from that fear in a blink of an eye the minute I understood all the attacks that the devil was using against me meant that my breakthrough was near! ? I know one day I'll become worship leader! ...lol what state you're in?I'm in California ?...i have my license but I just haven't drove in over a year because of a little scary experience i had ?

Are you doing alright? Your vibe is a little off today. You seem sad. At least that's what it feels like ?..mine comes and goes. Right now I feel bored of ocd I don't have the energy to analyze stuff. However in the past days I was like omg I've heard that there are no coincidences in God so maybe If I came across your post about pedophilia it means He really did confirm Im a pedo ?? ugh. Random stuff like that pops in my mind at times and makes me "connect the dots" and it makes sense ? that plus other problems in other areas of my life is just too much...

I also get a silly thought that what if I start speaking in tongues (which I never have) and start confessing things to God regarding my ocd asking Him to deliver me as if I really was admitting I AM all I fear being ? I've heard that ppl who speak in tongues aren't aware of what they're saying. Only God does. It's a prayer that comes straight from your soul to God's throne.

Hold on. I just received the notification of your msg. Lemme read it lol

Does the medication itself make you have sadness as a side effect or does leaving it make you feel sad because you feel dependant on it???..I agree I don't read the Bible either like at all and I think that's what God's been wanting me to do. I don't do it because I feel like I'ma get confused although I know God's not the author of confusion...awww thank you and it's my pleasure! Everytime you feel or think it's impossible to overcome this remember you can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens you...? So there's a possibility that God really would confirm that if it were true?! Last time you said God wouldn't confirm something for me that I'm not? I'm confused

? What I'm telling myself to calm down is that in my case you're referring to it as a hypothetical situation. Yeah I know I'm sorry I'm making you feel like you're not encouraging because you are! It's because you're encouraging that I go to you for help in these thoughts. Don't worry it's just my ocd making me confused and doubtful about this ?

Open your Bible randomly to see what page you land on. I've heard ppl say whatever chapter of it you land on is the message God has for you. ive never tried it. I think there's no better confirmation of that than having the gift of discernment

My fear is more like "God made me read a post about someone getting delivered from pedophilia as a way of telling me if He did for them he can do it for me too" I don't wanna be one and I KNOW I'm NOT one. So yes I wanna believe this fear is just irrational stemming from my own ocd.

A better way of saying this is that you're involuntarily saying my fear is possible which is the fact that God CAN confirm to someone if they're a pedo if it was true. That's what gives me anxiety lol

I struggle with all themes actually from time to time... Praying over the renewing of my mind constantly is my only method in relieving this stress really... My bf knows i have ocd but he doesn't know the kind of thoughts I actually have God forbid ? considering he actually got raped twice when he was 5 ?...Like right now I'm like what if now God is telling me I'm bi because I came across a preqching regarding homosexuality by a worship singer I recently started listening to ? lol it's ironic because I actually have intrusive thoughts about liking her. I saved the video to watch it and once I clicked on it I'm like oh god why am I even about to watch this if it's not a preaching I can relate to! But then I'm like maybe you saved it and clicked on it for a reason ? I clicked back on it again but I was like nope I'm not gonna trigger myself... right !? I totally agree that's why I avoid it LOL

My sunday was a little overwhelming but still ok...I am freaking out right now. As you know I have mind chatters towards God to reveal to me if I'm a pedo or not right? And so one of those mind chatters has been to lemme hear about someone getting delivered from it or letting me know through a some sort of dream and since I just woke up I feel really panicky I dreamt something about a paper like a test having the word pedophilia in it I think it asked "do you have pedophilia?" with a fill in the blanks answer and the word "truth" was written as the answer!!! ?I literally feel hot inside. This is just too much coincidences for them to just be my ocd and not God actually telling me

I always tell God "don't listen to my mind chatters you know I don't mean it from the heart! The reason I mind chatter stuff is exactly because I'm scared of it!" But now I'm starting to think my mind chatters are so much meaningful than I thought. I literally mind chattered to Him to lemme know in a dream if I'm one or not and I'm terrified that it actually happened. Maybe it wasn't a dream and I just pictured it while being asleep and awake at the same time since my ocd thoughts tend to wake me up at night sometimes? Please help me

I love that acronym! Never thought about fear that way! Makes total sense!..likewise my friend! .. Yes please send me info regarding cognitive distortions ! Thanks so much ?

Here it is I found it! Lol @LaPink

Do you have the articles?

I've still been a little concerned but now it's Cuz of something different even though it's related. I was given a prophetic word in spanish and after, the prophet hugged me and prayed for me telling God while sobbing "thank you for rescuing her from the most vile stuff when she didn't know about you. But now she does. Protect her always and bless her belly. You've shown her the little ones" I'm really not sure if I heard right because my ocd made me be so paranoia of her telling me I'm a pedo or something or if she really did say that "little ones"part cuz that doesn't make sense to me. That sounds like she maybe saw im pregnant or something (even tho I know I'm not) she didn't specify. but if it wasn't then that altered my pocd more because she mentioned "little ones" and about the vile stuff I wanna believe she was referring to my testimony which involves alcoholism and sexual immorality but now I'm like what if God told her to tell me I'm a pedo ?

She said "little ones" as if she was referring to kids in spanish I'm just translating for you ?...yasss! That's what im telling myself to just stop obsessing over God telling me something that's a lie from the enemy!!!. I also wanna believe she did mean a pregnancy coming in the near future. Maybe she meant that God has shown me the little ones in a vision or something?.. Its ok I have no rush lol

Yeah and we know how OCD is when it's not one theme it's another. I also was like omg what if God told her I have an infertility problem and that's why she told Him to bless my belly ?...hmmm that too could be it. Ugh !I just hate that I couldnt really pay attention to this prophetic word because my mind kept racing about the pedophilia thing! Jesus was hugging me right through her talking to me and I didn't even enjoy it cuz of the OCD ?..everything's gonna turn out for the best you'll see!. the day after Thursday is my birthday!

Wow! I'm glad you're using your time wisely on things that involve God! What better therapy and healing than that. I feel the same majority of the time but one of the things God told me is that He'd help me stop feeling lonely!

That day when the prophet referred to what God rescued me as vile my ocd was also like "alcohol and sexual immorality isn't vile. Vile is like something above and beyond like pedophilia so maybe she referred to that " ?? and since she hugged me and prayed for me my ocd was like "maybe God told her to talk to you in a personal manner to not let anybody know you're a 'pedo' " ugh...

Agreed!..for now nothing comes to mind. Ehh whatever happens i'll be grateful for another year of life...im just like you! I dont work or drive

I been thinking about how my compulsions are pleading the blood of jesus over my mind outloud in a whisper (if I can or if not then i just do it in my head) and whenever i get an intrusive thought i replace whatever image I'm getting with an "image" of God i used to have in my old room but i developed that specific compulsion back when i wasn't Christian and instead had catholic tendencies so even though I am aware of the fact that God IS NOT an image like the typical ones you see painted on portraits and stuff I feel comfort when I do that compulsion although I know I prbly need to stop cuz it contradicts my Christianity. But how can I stop when my mind is so programmed to compulse by thinking of an "image" of a God as protection against whatever my ocd throws at me???

Yes that's exactly how I feel!

And then I'm like wait why am I even compulsing with "Gods face" against the ocd while I'm getting a sexual intrusive thought during sex or masturbation and ask myself "isn't that nastier to think about God?" (Even tho I don't think about Him like that its just as a form of protection)

Thank you buddy! God bless you! Too late I did eat lots of cake lol

Eh to be honest it was terrible ? I fought with my bf. The devil really slaughtered me through him ..

We fought for family reasons though. I ended up celebrating with my family only because he went to work and the little bit he was here at home we literally did nothing and just argued! When I got back home that midnight we got into a really scary fight where I couldve sworn he looked like he was possessed by a demon! He was way too aggressive and so was i. The next day and the following ones after that we've been ok we apologized to each other and prayed but that's how I know it was an attack of the devil towards me on my special day! I'm getting nostalgia wanting it to be my bday again because I feel like I didnt celebrate it properly ???...yay! ok

Last night my bf made up for my bday! He gave me balloons and flowers which is what I wanted! Lol... Wow I've thought like that my whole life! Now I know what it is

Agreed.. I haven't celebrated just yet ? lol but Happy Valentines Day buddy!

I ended up going to dinner with my bf lol...yay! Omg sorry its been such a long time I don't get on here! I was gonna reach out to you to see how youve been

Dependant**