My OCD convinces me I'm attracted to my brother and it kills me

Anonymous

Date posted: 6y

I get this with my own brothers and family members and it sucks smh. I even gotten myself to feel attracted to myself but I was able to overcome that somewhat but I still get a sensation when I see a picture of myself smh.

geemel

Date posted: 6y

I’ve had these too, it will convince you of the things you find so strange

Anonymous

Date posted: 6y

Idk how to explain it really it just happened the same way I got HOCD. I just said to myself watch I might start to get attracted to myself and I guess I got a little anxiety about it and avoided looking at myself in fear that I might start to get attracted to myself and when I realized what I did I basically started to agree with the OCD thoughts and and since I love myself and I do happen to be a good looking guy I just agreed with the OCD and now I can say to myself I am a sexy motherfucker and I don’t get anxiety about it because it’s myself. My OCD is probably a lot worse than yours which is why I was able to fear looking at myself and avoid looking at my pictures in fear. When you have OCD you can get yourself afraid of anything really if you really tried. I made myself fear of getting erect when I see a woman because it was just happening way to much to my liking that a dude would walk by and think I got it for him smh and it used to pissed me off so I was like fuck this I’ll get myself a fear of this too just to prove to motherfuckers I have OCD and anxiety which can cause me to fear anything and everything and that I’m not gay but because I feared it I became it in an OCD way. I had a gay dream once which made me fear that I was gay but didn’t start to get feelings of possibly being gay until 2 yrs after I had that dream that got me scared. I started to get a sensation feeling every time I saw a guy I never met before and would start to get an arousal feeling towards dudes I’ve talked to before but never had before. This was all caused because of my dumbass not knowing I had OCD and taking pre workouts and drinking on the weekends would increase OCD, anxiety, and depression smh. I mean I couldn’t have known back then but I wished I did or I wouldn’t of never took a pre workout or start drinking or start to think I became gay smh. I had always wanted a wife and kids but I guess when you have OCD and your first relationship doesn’t go so well you start to get depressed and start to think maybe I should become gay since I can’t meet a chick who’s as perfect as I want her to be or find a chick who’s as good as me smh. Obviously that’s ROCD but again I barely knew I had OCD back in June of this year and I was dealing with ROCD and HOCD for a total of 6 yrs now but never knew it was OCD. So that’s my story and I probably shouldn’t have said all this because it just gives me reassurance but I wanted to be able to help you out with how OCD works and how I got an intrusive thought of myself smh haha. Hope this helps.

bloop123

Date posted: 6y

Same also ):

Mahx

Date posted: 6y

you’re not alone! i hate it

Anonymous

Date posted: 6y

-TKO I already did that a year ago at this time and I ended up fucking myself up with it because I was pre diagnosing myself and honestly didn’t know I had OCD. I knew I had a mental disorder but I wasn’t sure what. So because I went back in forth with do I have HOCD or am I actually gay I messed myself up even more without getting the proper help. I can’t go back and change it but I kind of know what I have to do to alleviate my anxiety but haven’t found the right time to do the stupid thing I need to do smh.

bloop123

Date posted: 6y

It's so strange. Like if my brother does something I'll have a way of viewing it like weirdly. Like if he smiles I'm like that was cute and I'm just like what the fuck is wrong with u why are u saying that???!!

bloop123

Date posted: 6y

And it's so strange!!! Like I wouldn't even think about things like that with someone I like. its just weird, hard to explain

Tko

Date posted: 6y

Well u have a week to start a new year and I moving foward Hope I can start exercising Eating healthier stop my instuvice taughts .my hocd started one day I went to a auction saw a guy For some reason I mind said this is a pretty good looking guy which I used to say thst about any body and never bother me I had ocd all my life but not hocd is it hard because I love women and have no desire to be gay. I am sorry no problem with gay guys but I love women.

Purvi

Date posted: 24w

POCD help

I'm posting something after a long. I have multiple Ocd themes and my main themes of sexual ocd is incest Ocd and Hocd and POCD has never been so active but today something happened that has been bothering me for a while. I was traveling in a bus and there I saw a kid/young teen. When I saw him, I instantly found him so attractive and then BOOM.. I started feeling like I'm attracted to him. I felt confused. I literally found him attractive and also thought that he would look really fine after growing up his face was so attractive but I don't want to be into him at all. I feel like I'm so much into him. I'm feeling very bothered by this feeling. I feel like I'm in denial and I should accept my attraction towards him. I don't want to feel this way at all. I don't understand what to do, how to figure out this feeling. I'm 99% sure that there was an underlying attraction I felt when I looked at him and realized that he is good looking. I feel like dying from inside and extremely confused. He's not in my bus now and I feel urges to just see him once to finally figure out that I'm into him or not but he is not here. I think I'm a pedophile which I don't want to be and everything is finished now, nothing would be same in my mind because I'm so paranoid and feeling like I'm into him. Please somebody help me and let me know if anyone of you has ever felt this way having POCD.

ivefailed.

Date posted: 23w

compulsively testing for attraction GONE WRONG

I know I'm not one. But there is one OCD episode that destroyed my life. September 2024 I was obsessing over attraction, and one night I compulsively imagined a sensual seductive scenario and I was shocked that a trigger could emanate the gaze of seduction and sensuality, and I thought that it was proof of attraction, then I think that for a moment that I felt like I was attracted, I think I self sabotaged myself into accepting attraction and I think like it worked. I still don't know if it was genuine attraction. I felt suicidal immediately later and thought about ending my life until I discovered on my notes that it was a "short moment" and I assumed that it was just OCD; but now I don't believe so. I have confused memories, maybe some are fabricated. I have different versions of what happened: 1. The attraction part was simply me perceiveing the objective seduction and sensuality look and instead of feeling distressed i felt that it looked seductive and I got shocked and that was what I thought it was attraction in my memory. 2. I was actually seducted and I'm in denial 3. I felt seduction but I wasnt seducted 4. I felt egosyntonic attraction and I'm in denial 5. It was a fabricated sense of egosyntoncness, it wasn't genuine attraction but a fabrication, it was a "dare" from the brain, a self sabotage hence why I felt suicidal. I asked an expert and she simply told me that what happens inside the OCD Bubble belongs only to OCD and it has no value, it is not real. And while it's true its entirety happened as a compulsion, as a result of testing an obsessional fear and doubt, I don't know if the content of what happened inside is simply not real. Like when I had triggering POCD dreams. I don't know if it's the same thing when I was worrying abt me being attracted to my mother and I compulsively imagined my parent coming to my bed and felt like I could do it, that I wouldn't refuse, like literally felt like it not hypothetically, maybe because it was a twisted version of it? I don't know. I lost my sense of reality a while ago. Different scenarios too happened where I felt like I could say yes or I was tempted over doing something I find immoral, all of them were a direct consequence of a compulsion but I don't know still, seems too easy. I fear that the human brain is complex enough to allow both things to happen, that is neutral enough to allow a grey area that I cannot tolerate.

POCD

Anonimus ME 🦋

Date posted: 18w

please, if there are any of you, at least leave a word..thanks

Does it happen to you that when a person is specific in your ocd thoughts (my sister is my sister), that everything about her is a trigger for you when you see her? And the way he moves, talks, eyes, you suddenly sexualize everything, or is it just me? it really bothers me, because I constantly feel my groin, so I wonder if it's really OCD, or if it's something in me...

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My OCD convinces me I'm attracted to my brother and it kills me

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