It’s been so difficult dealing with my hypochondria today. After I found out that Chadwick Boseman died of cancer (which, Rest In Peace, I loved him) my anxiety has spiked and I can’t stop thinking about if I have it too. I’ve posted on here about the bump I found on my vulva that’s really under the skin and hard, but I’ve always felt like something is wrong down there and now I’m really nervous but I don’t wanna ask for reassurance or compulsively schedule a dr appt because I told myself I’d wait 1-2 months but god I feel like I need to see a gyno or something just to make sure everything is okay because I’m so scared that I have cancer and just don’t know about it. Anyone else feel this way too?

I’m sorry you’re dealing with something similar. It’s hard to tell when it’s our minds messing with us or an actual emergency— and that’s why I’ve decided to wait. I’ll check with my insurance though when the time is right. Good luck! We got this!

Glad I’m not the only one! Do you have a plan as well? Like wait a certain amount of time before getting it checked out or something? This is such a difficult theme to manage.

@worryqueen I went to ERP therapy for this for about a year and it really helped me. I try to confront my fears of illness and mortality each day. When something comes up I usually think, “No matter what happens, I am strong and capable of dealing with it, no matter how bad it is—even a cancer diagnosis.” Don’t get me wrong, it was hard to get there. But ERP saved me.

@worryqueen I also go to the doctor quite frequently for health maintenance— not OCD-fueled, but just to keep up with my general health. Going to the doctor, which is something I usually avoided for the fear of receiving a terrible diagnosis, has been the ultimate exposure to me. Really, confronting your fear is going to be how you overcome it

Yeah I’ve always felt this way though and I haven’t had the best sex ed since I was raised in a strict, catholic household. I’m 18, and don’t know a lot, so part of it is just not know what’s right or not. It would be a compulsion though, so I need to wait.

I can move it around which is a good sign but I genuinely can’t tell if it’s a normal part of that area or not and I get embarrassed easily so. But I’m supposed to wait a month before getting it checked out, that’s what me and my therapist discussed.

@worryqueen I know you're worryqueen and all, but thinking and thinking about this and the possibilities and whether you're doing the right thing etc is itself a compulsions which is really just as damaging as going to the doctor. As you've agreed with your therapist that you're going to wait, it's a good opportunity to apply response prevention when you want to do these mental compulsions. Maybe the next time you want to go over your patterns of thought about the issue, you could tell yourself "Ive made that decision, I'm going to be brave and I'm not going to think about this or research until X time" (for example when you see your therapist next, or even just putting it off until tomorrow). I find that if I promise my brain that I WILL solve it in the future, it's less resistant to allowing me to think about and do other things instead.

@Scoggy Thank you, I’ll try that out. I think I’m even compulsively thinking of the future, and what my results will be, which is also harming cause I’m trying to predict what will happen. Do you think it’s safe to think about how I’ll ask my mom if/when I need to see the doctor? I keep playing out convos that won’t be as awkward, or ones that will. Another part of me thinks I should just make an appointment by myself and not tell her so I can avoid embarrassment but everything is so scary.

@worryqueen Imagining future scenarios which might be stressful is definitely a compulsion. If/when it's time to ask, you'll figure it out and it'll be straightforward, you'll survive feeling a big embarrassed.