Does anybody know what do when you’re stuck?

I’m just stuck. I don’t know why I want to get better anymore. There’s nothing I can improve on. I don’t have a reason to get better. Usually people have a reason as to why to get better but I’m starting to realize I don’t have a reason anymore. I can’t tell a good job to hire me if they don’t want to deal with my OCD or the confusion it causes them. I don’t have a reason. Not even for myself. I’m just lost now and even being on an antidepressant and antipsychotic it still has me lost. I can’t even remember the last time I did therapy for what I want in life. It’s probably been a year since I’ve had a therapy session about what I want in life and the reason why I want to get better. I’m just completely over myself and what my thoughts do to me. I have no reason to live for. I’d rather die than to stay in my bed moping around not knowing what I want out of life. My therapist has pretty much given up on me. I have no reason to live and I’m like well what should I do then if I have nothing to live for? Obviously being on an antidepressant and antipsychotic is suppose to open my eyes but yet I’m still over here pondering about life and what it means to me? I honestly have no reason to be alive. The only reason I can think of is to pay off my credit card and that’s about it. Only reason why I’m still working. If I didn’t have any cc debt I wouldnt be working at all. I’d be home chilling not doing anything. Football is over for me. So I have nothing now. I’m not missing anything when it comes to dating. I’m not missing my friends. I don’t care about my brothers. I just don’t care about nothing.

@swolejaboy I’m so sorry you feel this way. Can you maybe try doing something you at least used to enjoy? And then please try a different psychiatrist/therapist? I’ve also tried different cocktails of meds, including anti-psychotics, and they didn’t really work for me either. But I eventually did find some that helped. So what you’re taking may just not be the right thing for you. It doesn’t mean effective help isn’t out there for you. I’m sending you support and strength to keep trying, keep fighting. 💜

@ARTnotOCD I’ve tried to do what I used to enjoy it just makes me depressed. It doesn’t do anything for me anymore. Like I wouldn’t even be the least surprise the reason why I have these symptoms rolling around my mind is because I have CTE. I mean every time I said I think there is something else wrong with me they all pushed it to the side and just said it was OCD and now all this time when I stopped doing all the ERP’s they had me do and let my mind think now they think I’m dealing with something else. It just pisses me off cuz I’m not some rich boy who can have his mommy pay for therapy. Like now I think it’s just OCD but now for whatever reason it’s like they don’t want whatever is going on with me to be OCD cuz I’m still not sure they believe me. So I’m just confused. I should’ve been from the start told to get medical insurance and go to a facility for treatment then to blow my money not getting the right therapy so I could’ve been diagnosed properly by being seen 24/7 and not just an hour every week. I go through a lot of shit through out my day not just an hour and now my best course of action is to go to a facility but with what money? Like I don’t want to work cuz of the shit in my head. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be done. Be fucked up with no job and then get help so that you can get a job? We all don’t have moms who care about us enough to ask a family friend for money just saying.