i can’t do this anymore. i just proved to myself that i’m into my fear. i literally just DID it. it’s been proven. i’m in denial. it’s over. i really am just a horrible person. i fucking knew it. i can’t live like this.

i have nothing to harm myself with. i had a “dream” even though i KNEW it was a dream. and there was a male dog. i got a groinal response in the dream. and i wanted to just see what it would feel like to just enjoy the response and the “thought” of the dog and stuff... and once i did. i immediately woke up and started crying. why did i do that??? i knew i was dreaming.. i did it on purpose. why?? there’s not even a reason.

@MakeAChange See if either of these helps you: https://youtu.be/WF4dHRGQJQA https://youtu.be/3FTHSSpHLF4

@tella4 (blm) really? oh my god. thank you for the information. i’m going to try to not take this as a reassurance, but this helps me a lot. thank you, thank you, and thank you again. seriously.

@tella4 (blm) i know that much, but in the dream i literally said to myself “i’m dreaming, so it doesn’t matter.” and i used the groinal response as like a “masturbation” feel. just to see what it felt like to enjoy the thought of the dog. i don’t think it was anxiety :/

@Ben84 Thanks for sharing these videos

you don’t understand. i basically did my fear. it’s too real. there’s nothing left. i have NO POINT to living.

@MakeAChange Let me share something with you, when my OCD first exploded it was over a dream I had about MY OWN dog. I’ve been in your exact situation. It’s ocd making its way into your dreams. Content doesn’t matter. Dreams will always reflect our fears.