guys i don't know if i can make it..

i really value my family, friends, anime, traveling, drawing, singing, wanting to be a utaite, but i'm so scared like everytime i see something that has to do with p*dos i say ," that will be me one day" i get so scared, and it's as if my brain is trying to make me think like a bad person , i'm so scared i want to not be here anymore

If so, how can we make sure you are safe?

yeah i'm okay! but i keep getting scared i'm going to hurt someone i love , it's like my mind wants me to be a p*do when i know i'm not and its making me feel horrible

@ducklingskies A lot of people respond to these thoughts by saying “maybe I am a pedophile, maybe I’m not.” Sometimes that’s too hard for me so I start with, “maybe i am, but probably not,” and work my way up. The point of doing that is that you aren’t fighting the thoughts, you aren’t trying to push them away. Pushing them away only makes them worse. Imagine a school bully keeps telling you your ugly. Well what if one day you stood up to that bully and said, “Maybe I am. So what?” The bully would back down because they know their words don’t bother you anymore. With ocd, saying “maybe, maybe not,” to your thoughts is going to increase anxiety at first, but the more you practice it, the easier it gets. If the anxiety becomes too much, find positive coping strategies (that aren’t compulsions) to handle it.

@Nikki1809 This is great advice. I also want to give everyone a quick reminder that "maybe, maybe not" doesn't mean "there's a fifty percent chance either way". It means "there's some (often miniscule) indefinable chance. Risk is inherent to life"

@NOCD Advocate - Katie off topic but can i vent? i read this article and i'm scared it'll change how i view things

@ducklingskies Sure, you can vent. I'm not sure it's advisable or helpful in the long run, but you're welcome to choose it as long as you follow community guidelines (no reassurance, respectful language, etc)

@NOCD Advocate - Katie okay so basically, i read this article a while ago that i searched up on " what causes someone to be a p*dophile" and so it said , " past tr@ma" which i didn't have but it also said , " they think like children > adults on a pedophiles view" and then i started wondering, how does that happen? so then i realized that their tr@ma makes them believe all adults are bad and then i started fearing thinking like that and now i'm starting to not trust anyone literally no one , i want to interpret everyone like i used to, i wish i would have never read that article

@ducklingskies You're blaming the article for the ocd, instead of the ocd for misinterpreting the article

@NOCD Advocate - Katie oh ok!! also sorry if i'm asking for too much but everyone isn't bad right?

@ducklingskies I recommend reading through this list. Pay attention to "overgeneralizing" in particular https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.goodtherapy.org/blog/20-cognitive-distortions-and-how-they-affect-your-life-0407154/amp/